Survey: 19% of Men Would Do Brad Pitt if it Meant Sex with Angelina

Glamour Magazine released their "Extra-Steamy" Man sex survey recently. They asked 1,013 men to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Here are a few of the more interesting tidbits of their truthiness, and my take on the findings:

Angelina Jolie has a proposition for you: First, she wants to watch you have sex with Brad Pitt, and then she'll have sex with you. Do you go for it?

Yes: 19%

No: 81%

Badda Bing Bada Brad! No word on what Mr. Pitt would do to exhaust any man from touching his wife, but the findings here support a phenomenon I've noticed for years -- Angelina Jolie has an incalculable sexual draw. Ask any straight woman what female she'd give it up for and it's amazing how often Jolie's name comes to the tip of her tongue.

[Have you ever] Measured your penis?

Yes: 67%

No: 33%

I'm always amazed at the obsession men have with the size of the prize. Kinsey did a study a while back asking women where penis size ranked in desirability. It came in fifth, behind firm muscle tone, well-groomed hair, clear complexion and white teeth.

Click here for my funny but informative video (PG-rated) on the proper way of measuring your penis.

Or here to see why condom makers say only 6% of men need extra-large condoms.

Faked an orgasm during intercourse?

Yes: 24%

No: 76%

Joan Rivers had a funny line about gay men faking orgasms ("spit on his back") but I'm not sure it applies here. The high number of fakers makes sense, though, given that at least 4% of men have what sexologists charmingly call "ejaculatory incompetence" (the inability to heave your ho in the presence of a partner). Add the most common effect of anti-depressants (delayed ejaculation) and you can see why so many men just say the hell with it, fall back and pretend to snore.

Had sex with a woman you actively disliked?

Yes: 27%

No: 73%

This is further evidence, as if we needed it, that a man's 21st digit will come down with Alzheimer's if it helps the cause.

If you could make love in only one position for the rest of your life? Which one would you choose?

Woman-on-top: 43%

Doggy-style: 28%

Missionary: 25%

Spooning: 4%

A lot of people were surprised at the top answer. They shouldn't be. Men are visual creatures. Though I still think if Lord Carret's favorite position had been an option, it would placed high: "Her knees over my shoulders, with my wallet hidden where she'll never think of looking for it."

Glamour didn't reveal how they did the survey (sample size: 1,013 ) so it's hard to pass scientific judgment. Still, we shouldn't look for science as much as insight in these types of surveys. And, of course, the sheer entertainment value.

Click here to see additional takes on Glamour Magazine's other questions, including:

• Would you rather marry a woman 20 years older than your or 20 pounds heavier than you?

• Compared with other men, how good do you think you are in the sack?

• Which of the following would make you the most uncomfortable? Dating a woman, who, compared with you, is: More sexually experienced, more successful in her career, wealthier, or funnier?

Comments

[OverIt]

And how many of that 19% are closeted "conservatives" who are using the excuse of Angelina as a front to get to Brad in the first place?

[Malkin71]

Well, 10 % are gay. Now, we know what % are closeted bisexuals.

There are so many better looking women than Angelina though?

[TryToBeFlexible]

I would have sex with Brad, but only if I didn't have to have sex with Angelina afterwards.

[writerjohnny]

19% of men would have sex with giant prehistoric slugs just to have sex and even if there was no "Jolie Reward".

[Bethab]

I'm guessing more.

[jugganaut]

Oooh, giant prehistoric slugs....

*fap fap fap fap fap fap fap*

[Con-toons]

Guess I'll be riding the pony more often. Hi Ho Silver!!!!!!

[NAPinMtPSC]

I'd bet 19% of men would have sex with Brad Pitt , even without the Angelina incentive.