On Wednesday November 5th, I made my debut in the New York Times on page C2. In other news, America elected the first black president in an election that was followed closely around the world.
It wasn't that I was hoping for a slow news day, just maybe not the biggest news day in the last half-century. So I woke up on Wednesday morning and walked to the newsstand to pick up a copy of my article. Except they didn't have any copies left. As a matter of fact, the man at the news-stand laughed at me. At that point, I had a feeling that getting the paper might be an uphill battle.
I stopped at four more newsstands and was met with the same response. Each of the salesmen tried to interest me in another newspaper or magazine.
"Perhaps New York Post or Ice Cream Binge Magazine?"
No thanks, I said under my breath, and gnawed into my Dentyne Tango Mixed Berry gum pellet.
I called my brother Joe and asked if he had gotten the paper and he explained that it was sold out, and beyond that copies of it were going for $50-200 dollars a pop on eBay.
Great. So not only can't I get a copy, no one can get a copy--and the people who do aren't skipping to page C2; instead, they're keeping it hermetically sealed in plastic baggies so it will remain in "mint condition." Open to page C2? Are you insane?
Fortunately, my mother-in-law had a copy of the arts section at her office. Someone had stolen the cover and failed to see the historical significance of section C.
Well I got the paper in hand and I read the article and then I attempted to do the crossword puzzle below it. That didn't go very well and I ended up with a ¼ done crossword with cross-outs and letters written over other letters.
So if you're reading this, you can buy a copy here for the low low price of $99.99 or you read it on-line and if you're feeling generous, you can even email it to others and then it will be on the "most emailed section."
I can only hope that in the years to come, people who have this valuable collectors item will take a gander at page C2 and consider seeing Mike Birbiglia's off-Broadway show that closed 137 years ago.