Sister Dottie vs. The Mormon Church

From May 1-17, Dottie Dixon, a game-changer of the highest order, takes the stage nightly at the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center in Salt Lake City in her one-woman show, The Passion of Sister Dottie S. Dixon, which chronicles her experiences as the activist Mormon mother of a gay son.

Sister Dottie, who lives with her husband of 38 years, Don, on what she describes as "a lovely little cul de sac" in Spanish Fork, Utah, about ten miles south of "the BYU," approaches the Mormon church's anti-gay positions from the unassailable mountaintop of a mother who loves her child. And she comes at it from the inside, as a tenth-generation Mormon whose great-great grandfather, Heber Orson Maxwell O'Donovan, migrated to Utah, across the plains as a Mormon pioneer in 1847 with none other than Brigham Young himself, the second prophet, seer, and revelator of the Mormon Church.

Her show, a comedy with what she describes as "moments of poignancy," addresses the controversy of Sister Dottie's stubborn refusal to accept the Mormon church's anti-gay positions. "I can't choose between my church and my child," she said last week when I spoke to her on the phone between rehearsals for her show. "My church wants me to choose. I don't do that."

Passionate as she is about her cause, Dottie is not an angry woman. She is a funny woman, which may be the only way to build a bridge over the fissure she feels between her religious faith and her family. Asked how she came to the decision to take her story to the stage, she tells me, "After my popularity grew from my weekly radio show What Not, What Have You, and Such as That, with Sister Dottie S. Dixon on local progressive radio station KRCL, I prayed over the kitchen sink and thirty seconds later the garbage disposal came on all by itself. I took that as a sign."

In her one-woman show about her life and times, Dottie describes how her son, Donnie P. Dixon, who today is 33 and "lives in a loft with his dog, Javier," came out as gay when he was 16 years old. "When he told me he was gay, it shocked me completely," she says. "My dream was that he'd grow up as a righteous Mormon boy and marry a temple-worthy woman and have a big family."

After what she describes as a "horrible scene," she and Donnie P. made up, and Dottie began to acknowledge that her son's dreams would not be her own. "We have to allow each child to have their own dreams," Dottie said. "I told Donnie P., 'I am going to help you achieve your dreams, not the ones I had planned for you." She also feels "Heavenly Father sent a gay baby into our family-as a blessing."

"The Church tells parents that they don't have to accept gay and lesbian children into their lives, don't have to include them in family gatherings, don't have to take them on vacations. That's caddywampus," Dottie says.

Dottie says that her conversion from loving mother to gay rights activist came when she and her friend, Sister Dartsy FoxMoreland, were "on a weekend getaway for pampering and nickel slots ('the Church looks the other way if it's nickels'), and got all turned-around, direction-wise." The two women ended up in Black Rock City, Nevada, during the Burning Man Festival, where they met Linda Ted, "an elderly transgendered shaman from Eugene, Oregon." It was after this encounter, Dottie explains, that she realized her mission was to "bring the Mormons and gays back together."

Before the stage lit her way, Dottie's mission took her down a number of side roads and dead-ends, including "A personal appeal to the Mormon Church leadership that consisted of baking a bunch of casseroles. We thought if we fed them good Mormonly mother casseroles for their lunch, they would listen, and it would help. We didn't get past the Church's Sacred Security. We got kicked out."

She says her protesting landed her in the Utah Women's correctional facility for three days. "I am an advocate for many things," she says. "Gay rights, women's rights, homeless rights, Specific-Islanders, and all them illegal Hispanish immigrants...I love them all, really, truly I do, but gay rights got me off my behind, out of the house, and on my way to achieving my special purpose in life."

In her show, she describes how Donnie P., who today works as "a cartographic designer inside a company," grew up in Spanish Fork as a "cowboy at heart." But that "gay was a hard way to be." She says Donnie joined the Boy Scouts and "his merit badges were not the ones most boys got. He got his tap dancing merit badge. If you weren't into baseball, rodeo, or scouting, you pretty much were an outcast."

In speaking to her about her show and Donnie P., I came to appreciate that Dottie is crusading for a Mormon woman's rights, too. "The Church says only a man can receive a revelation. They say a woman has never received a revelation. My heart longs for more than what the Church allows. Even a tidbit or snippet will do.

"I am not educated, I am not worldly-wise or experiential-wise, but I know what's true."

The Passion of Sister Dottie S. Dixon, produced by Pygmalion Theatre Company, runs from May 1-17 at the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center in Salt Lake City, starring Sister Dottie Dixon, accompanied by Sister Dartsy Foxmoreland on the piano. ("We Mormons can't do anything without accompaniment," Dottie says.) Sister Dottie's website is www.sisterdottie.com

Comments

[Rebecky]

I'm a big fan of Pygmalion Theatre Company and this is one of the best shows I've seen them do. If you're looking for more politically subversive theatre in Salt Lake, go see Saturday's Voyeur at the Salt Lake Acting Company.

http://www.saltlakeactingcompany.org/
http://saltlakeactingcompany.wordpress.com/

[Mikal Klee]

Dottie is an inspiration!
Can you deny the most important ingredient of her best recipe - LOVE.
“Be sure to make it with love.”
Dottie’s a passionate woman, who can not understand why her religion will not accept her sons sexual orientation.
The LDS Church has never accepted any alternative lifestyle.
Growing up in this religion, I can testify to that. I was never made to feel welcome.
I have a deep rooted connection to the religion all the way back to it’s beginning.
My Great-Grand Mother helped Joseph Smith fold pages for the 1st edition of the Book Of Mormon.
Anyone that says the Mormon Church feels otherwise about the GLBT Community is lying.
Dottie is just pointing these issues out.
In ‘Passion’, we get a glimpse of a mothers journey to support her gay son and still live the teachings of her religion.
The Mormons profess to believe that every child is a perfect gift from God.
When Dottie is confronted with the opposite of this, she must take a stand.
She feels that her son is “Perfect just the way God made him!”
Anyone who can get to the Rose Wagner Theater in Salt Lake City, will be happier for the effort.
With the addition of several performances, it is clear that more people want to laugh with Dottie.
Please get to the theatre and witness The Passion Of Sister Dottie S. Dixon.

[Christianson]

I sure hope this goes National! Mormons will be extremely curious to see how they are being represented and might actually go see it! Yes, it is very funny--probably the best comedy hit of the season--and you don't need to be Mormon to understand it, but it's the active Mormons and LDS Church leadership who need to see it the most! Perhaps then they'll have a change of heart. Long Live Sister Dottie!!!

[Daniel Holsinger]

This last weekend, my partner and I watched "The Passion of Sister Dottie S. Dixon." It was excellent. It seems unlikely that a marriage of mormonism, homosexuality and suburbia could produce such a memorable play. But then, it exceeded all of my expectations.

I'm not certain if this was the intent, but my experience as a member of the audience was a new and nuanced sense of sympathy for certain mormons. I haven't been able to stomach much by way of mormonism after Prop 8. On November 5th last year, I quietly began purging mormons and mormonism from my life. I commend the writer for a frequently brilliant and genuinely funny composition that worked. The play unapologetically brought to light an important message--one the audience was delighted to hear.

[Matthew Landis]

I saw "The Passion of Sister Dottie S. Dixon" and loved it. It was a transformational experience. On an artistic level, it was a masterpiece. The heroes journey taken by a lovely and lovable Mormon mom. Dottie reminded me of my mom and many, many loving mothers within the LDS Church who love their children and who also love and believe firmly in their faith.

When I told my mother I was gay, she acted like it was a revelation and she told me that she always knew I was different from the moment I was born. And who knows better than a mother? I believe there are many Dotties out there searching for the true connection between what they know is true - that their children are complete and whole as gay and that their religion is also true, but not always right.

The play itself is also just damn funny and entertaining. It will change your life.

[rgmulp]

I just wanted to mention that there are a few misrepresentations in this article. Check out this link:

http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/public-issues/same-gender-attraction

[anderinthemountains]

What is published for the public and what is discussed in priesthood meetings are two different things.

[Paulll]

As a member of the Church of 40+ years, I can guarantee you that the subject has never come up in any priesthood meeting I've ever attended and I attend weekly.

[mattsig]

You just reiterated exactly why the Mormon church and most others are WRONG on this issue. Elder Oaks continues with the tired old argument that intimacy in a gay relationship is not normal and is wrong.
I also saw this play and loved it. I laughed and cried and thought it was a great play.
BTW, Sister Dottie is not a real person. She's a satyrical creation who hold a mirror up to Mormon culture and they don't like what they see.

[Troy Williams 1]

Thanks Mike,

In the wake of Prop 8, it is essential that Mormons who oppose the efforts of their Church to strip the LGBT community of their civil liberties, take a courageous stand. The Passion of Sister Dottie S. Dixon is inspiring Mormons and non-Mormons, gay and straight alike, to raise their voice for all marginalized people in our community.

The play has enjoyed sell-out crowds it's opening weekend. Pygmalion Theatre has added additional performances to meet the demand of ticket sales. Charles Lynn Frost, the actor who plays Dottie, is absolutely brilliant in his portrayal. He perfectly embodies a Mormon housewife from rural Utah.

The show will inspire people to be a little bolder, a little louder and a little more "out".

Troy Williams
Salt Lake City

[anderinthemountains]

In fact, Sister Dottie reminds me of several MIA and Sunday school teachers I had growing up in Utah. Lynn nails it right on the head and the more publicity we can give this the better.

[OpalSky42]

Sister Dottie, you're a woman of rare courage and an inspiration. Thank you!

[MenaC]

Thank you, Sister Dottie, for being in the spotlight!

[Flahdagal]

If I can be half the mom Sister Dottie is, that would be an excellent mother's day present, for me and my son. What a wonderful message she has!

[truthandvalues]

Ms. Dottie, you are knowingly misrepresenting the basic tenants of the LDS church.

You say, ""The Church tells parents that they don't have to accept gay and lesbian children into their lives, don't have to include them in family gatherings, don't have to take them on vacations. That's caddywampus,"

100% false! On the contrary, the church teaches us to accept the children and love them regardless, to include them in all family activities with an outpouring of love. We are to love the child but not accept the inappropriate behavior.

Wither you are born gay or not really is an irrelevant question. Everyone has a predisposition for something. Lying, steeling, adultery, whatever... it doesn't matter. What matters is how we deal with the issues in our lives that shape what kind of people we are. By saying I'm just this way and I can't change means that we are no better then animals and have ability to control our behavior.

Everyone has a choice you can choose. That is what separates us from the animals.

[gayinmt]

We can't choose to not be gay. I've never said "I'm just this way and I can't change" about being gay, because there is no changing it. So, I guess if you want to compare me to an animal, go ahead. But the fact is, I'm not going to try and be something I'm not, which apparently is what you want us to do. We don't choose our sexuality, regardless of what your naive mind and bigoted church tell you.

[JustAThought56]

The day that you are willing (and able) to "choose" to not act on your heterosexual feelings, to live your entire life on this planet in complete abstinence with no hope of ever entering into a committed relationship with the person you love with your whole heart and soul, because some group of people have arbitrarily decided that it is immoral for you to do otherwise, is the day that your perspective will have an ounce of validity. Until then, it is nothing but meaningless, badly - informed drivel.

And regardless of the C of LDS official position, the real truth is that their bigotry and intolerance has destroyed individuals and families, caused terrible harm, and led to untold misery for thousands of people. This woman states the obvious, not the party line.

[anderinthemountains]

Sister Dottie is not a woman

[ignrnthllblly]

I presume it was your intention to assert that "By saying I'm just this way and I can't change means that we are no better than animals and have [no] ability to control our behavior."

Why is it so fundamentally necessary to separate us from the animals? And how, presuming that separation, do we necessarily emerge as "better than"? Do animals shame God by their inability to make wrong choices? Or is it merely that you have faith that humans will ultimately compile a record of making more right choices than wrong? And do you see evidence of either?

[Kent Frogley]

Dottie does not misrepresent the tennets of the church. Having been a member my entire life, I can say the show is very accurate in it's portrayal of the Mormon experience.

You are twisting the reality of being gay to fit into LDS theology, a theology by the way that still includes polygammy as a doctrine. Dallin Oaks an apostle in the church is currently sealed for time and all eternity (the mormon version of marriage) to two women.

You drag out the same tired arguments aobut lying, steeling, etc. as if they are the somehow equivalent to sexual orientation, which they aren't.

[Elizabeth Mitchell]

The LDS Church encourages a culture where gay people are often reviled for their sexual preferences. Furthermore, the Church does excommunicate those who live openly as gays, and discourages members from interacting with those who have been excommunicated. I've heard the Church say just what you said, that we should love the sinner but hate the sin, but the reality is that the culture the Church encourages is vastly homophobic and it is NOT uncommon for parents to cast off children who have come out. Nor are the parents often castigated if that is what they choose. Furthermore, individual purporting to act for the church....bishops, seminary teachers, stake presidencies, etc....have said or implied that such shunning is going to help the poor soul find their way back to the "strait and narrow path".

Anyway, not accepting the behaviour isn't love. It isn't unconditional love when one's family demands that you behave a certain way or basically pretend that a part of your life doesn't exist. My gay LDS friends have ALL suffered some qualms about coming out because the culture is not really forgiving. There are many things the church claims to believe, but in practise and culturally, their actions speak otherwsie.

BTW a false analogy to compare being gay to stealing, lying, and adultery. Being gay doesn't hurt people. Loving somebody of the same sex who consensually enters into a relationship with one does not hurt anybody.

[Paulll]

I would encourage everyone to read this interview with a church leader on the Church's views on same sex attraction. You are misrepresenting the Church's teachings as is Dixon.

http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/public-issues/same-gender-attraction

[larry278]

The orthodox Mormons may have important things revealed to them shortly. Those who pray with Sister Dottie will ask God to consider revealing important things to orthodox Mormons. The Mormons are going to be cloaked in love.

[SD Indy]

Don't count on it..

[larry278]

If you say so, maybe but maybe orthodox Mormons will be cloaked in love in spite of themselves. No, I do not know how many angels can dance on the point of a needle. Who was that angel Joseph Smith spoke of?

[LiarLiarIraqsOnFire]

It seems to me that Sister Dottie S. Dixon is a Divine prophet, seer, and revelator to the Mormon Church. I hope that they have the faith to recognize it.

[thebigbike]

"I am not educated, I am not worldly-wise or experiential-wise, but I know what's true." Can't hardly beat that. Sister Dottie, you and Donnie P are in my prayers

[ElTommo]

I want to see that show.

[gayinmt]

Me too. Too bad we'd have to go to Utah to see it. I guess we could go together. Safety in numbers and all.

[The Ghost]

Perhaps it will be available on Video (HINT HINT!)