Appreciate Your Valentine This Year

03/15/2009 05:12 am 05:12:02 | Updated Nov 17, 2011

Valentine's Day is coming up and many people, especially us guys, are struggling to figure out what to do or get for the special person in our life -- particularly with money being tight these days. Whether you've been married for a long time or just started dating a few weeks ago, Valentine's Day can be a very exciting, but also somewhat stressful holiday.

Instead of just giving the love of your life something "nice" or taking them out to a special place, give them the best gift of all; your genuine appreciation. They'll be thrilled when you let them know what you appreciate about them and how they positively impact you.

The bottom line of most arguments, issues, and break-ups in our relationships comes down to a simple truth -- one or both of us don't feel appreciated.

This year Valentine's Day can be a time of real connection and appreciation for couples. Appreciation leads to improved connection and communication, greater fulfillment, and even better sex!

Here are three reminders and three simple, but powerful action ideas for making this Valentine's Day (and your relationship) really special:


1) Be grateful: Focus on the good stuff in your life, your relationship, and about your partner.

2) Acknowledge them: Let them know how much you appreciate them on this special day and all the time.

3) Appreciate yourself: Pat yourself on the back so that you are not dependent on your partner's appreciation for your own happiness.

Action ideas:

1) Write a heartfelt love letter of appreciation: Take some time, put some thought into it, make it creative...let them know what you appreciate about them and why you love them -- in writing.

2) Express your appreciation in person: When you sit down for a meal, take some time to look them in the eye, connect, and express to them your deep appreciation for who they are and what they bring to your life - in a heartfelt and passionate way.

3) Post notes of appreciation all over the house: Use post-it notes and write cute, fun, sexy notes of appreciation and put them up in the bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, etc.

Taking some time, putting some thought and feeling into it, and expressing your heartfelt appreciation for the special person in your life this Valentine's Day will really make them feel good and can have a lasting impact on your relationship in a way that a box of chocolates or bouquet of flowers never can. Feel free to get the chocolates or flowers anyway, but make sure to remember the most important gift of all; your appreciation!

Mike Robbins is a motivational keynote speaker, consultant, and the bestselling author of Focus on the Good Stuff (Hardcover, Wiley) and the forthcoming book Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken (Hardcover, Wiley, April 13, 2009). More info -