You're going to die. I'm going to die. Everyone around us is going to die.
The reality of death is, of course, both obvious and daunting for most of us. With the recent tragic events in Japan, and some very serious health news I received from someone close to me, I've been thinking about life and death a lot this past week. I was on a run a few days ago and thought to myself, "I wonder what it's like to know you're going to die?" Then I thought, "Wait a minute, we're all going to die -- we just don't act like it."
As simple as this thought was, it was profound for me. I don't live my life all that consciously aware of my own death. My own fears about death (mine and others) often force me to avoid thinking about it all together. I do catch myself worrying about dying -- sometimes more often than I'd like to admit, especially with our girls being as young as they are (Samantha's five, and Rosie's two and a half).
I also don't talk about death that much because it seems like such a morbid topic, a real "downer." I worry that it's too intense to address, or, superstitiously, that if I focus on death, I will somehow attract it to me or those around me.
As a culture, we don't really like to talk about death, or deal with it in a meaningful way, since it can be quite scary and is the exact opposite of so much of what we obsess about (youth, productivity, vitality, results, beauty, improvement, the future, etc.).
But what if we embraced death, talked about it more and shared our own vulnerable thoughts, feelings and questions about it? While for some of us this may seem uncomfortable, undesirable or even a little weird, think how liberating it would be if we're willing to face the reality of death directly.
Steve Jobs gave a powerful commencement speech at Stanford in 2005 entitled, "How to Live Before You Die."Â In that speech, he said, "Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
Contemplating death in a conscious way doesn't have to freak us out. Knowing that our human experience is limited, and that at some mysterious point in the future our physical body will die, is both sobering and liberating.
The reason I've always appreciated memorial services (even when I've been in deep pain and grief over the death of someone close to me) is because there is a powerful consciousness which often surrounds death. When someone passes away, we often feel a certain amount of permission to get real in a vulnerable way and to focus on what's most important (not the ego-based fear, comparison and self criticism that often runs our life).
What if we tapped into this empowering awareness all the time, not just because someone close to us dies or because we have our own near-death experience, but because we choose to affirm life and appreciate the blessing, gift and opportunity that it is?
Here are some things we can think about, focus on and do on a regular basis that will allow us to live like we're going to die, in a positive way:
Death can be difficult and scary for many of us to confront. There is a lot of fear, resistance, and "taboo" surrounding it in our culture and for us personally. However, when we remember that death is both natural and inevitable, we're reminded that everyone's life (whether it lasts for a few days or a hundred years) is short, precious and miraculous. This awareness can fundamentally and positively alter the way we think, feel and relate to ourselves, others and life itself. Living as if we're going to die (and remembering that it's guaranteed) is one of the best things we can do for ourselves and those around us.
Mike Robbins is a sought-after motivational keynote speaker, coach and the bestselling author of "Focus on the Good Stuff" (Wiley) and "Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken" (Wiley). For more information, visit www.Mike-Robbins.com.
Follow Mike Robbins on Twitter: www.twitter.com/mikedrobbins
Mark Goulston, M.D.: Trauma, Loss and Recovery from the Inside Out
Eldon Taylor: The Value of Mortality
Rev. Dr. Walter J. Smith, S.J.: End Of Life Spiritual Care: A Pathway to Growth and Peace
14 Timeless Ways to Live a Happy Life | PickTheBrain | Motivation ...
Dialogue about death is the first step in breaking down the fear barriers that prevent us from discussing and preparing for death. As you point out, this discussion about (and preparation for) death does not have to be morbid or fatalistic; rather, it can be inspirational and motivating.
Birth, death and taxes: the only guarantees in life.
Things weren't always this way, however:
In the past, the sort of wisdom that usually comes with age was valued more than it is now, because older people and younger people were, for the most part, operating on the same playing field, performing trades and professions with hierarchical systems that gave seniority to the older among them in a more than merely fiscal way that extended to genuine reverence for, among other things, the greater number of years their elders had under their belt in their shared field.
In our Digital Age, however, new ways of making a living spring up that have less and less in common with the Industrial Age jobs of the past, which tend to attract a youthful work-force that carries on this new parallel society, that works to save up money to buy products by the corporations who gear their advertising primarily toward them rather than toward their grandparents--and all because we, as a society, wish to convince ourselves that to be younger is to be better, that youth is everything and old age is something to sweep under the rug.
Ignorance is bliss.
http://realesttalkblog.blogspot.com
I like the quote from one of Mark Twain's characters - "why do we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Is it because we are not the person involved?"