After a four-year hiatus, Clint Eastwood (Firefox) returns to acting with the baseball-themed movie, Trouble with the Curve. In Trouble with the Curve, Eastwood plays Gus, a crusty scout for the Atlanta Braves who is, well ... old. And the Braves like "young." How sappy is Trouble with the Curve? As a service, we ask and answer every question that you could possibly have about Trouble with the Curve.
Q: At any point in Trouble with the Curve does Clint Eastwood have a conversation with an empty chair?
A: No. But he does attack a coffee table.
Q: Why does Clint Eastwood attack a coffee table?
A: Eastwood plays Gus, who is frustrated how his advancing age is affecting his work -- which leads to the coffee table beat down.
Q: What type of work does Gus do?
A: Gus is a scout for the Atlanta Braves, but new technology and health problems might force him into retirement.
Q: What kind of health problems are afflicting Gus?
A: Gus has what appears to be an early stage of glaucoma, which creates serious challenges to how he can perform his job. Luckily, while scouting a top prospect, Gus gets some help from an unlikely source.
Q: An orangutan?
A: No, you're thinking of Any Which Way But Loose or, possibly, its sequel, Any Which Way You Can. Gus receives help from his daughter, Mickey (Amy Adams).
Q: Right now, how desperately do you want to see a movie where Clint Eastwood and an orangutan scout baseball games together?
A: I will admit, I have more than a moderate interest in that movie.
Q: Why is Gus's daughter an unlikely source for help?
A: Because she's a busy, busy, busy, busy lawyer! And she has a big case coming up! And she may become partner soon! And she hasn't taken a Saturday off in the past few years! She's just so busy!
Q: How cliché is the estranged relationship that I'm sure Gus and Mickey have?
A: To be fair: It could have been much more cliché. The two do have the semblance of a relationship, so it's not like they aren't on speaking terms. But, yes, over the course of the film, Gus and Mickey learn to appreciate each other.
Q: How does Trouble with the Curve compare with Moneyball.
A: Trouble with the Curve is basically the anti-Moneyball -- in which the old scout who refuses to use a computer proves that the cocky statistician (Matthew Lillard) doesn't know anything about baseball.
Q: In doing so, does this movie also prove it knows nothing about baseball?
A: Yes.
Q: How many times is the phrase "trouble with the curve" spoken in Trouble with the Curve?
A: Once.
Q: In Trouble with the Curve, how many times is the Internet referred to as the "Interweb"?
A: Once.
Q: What's the most unrealistic thing about Trouble with the Curve?
A: That any child playing a pick-up baseball game would pretend that he is Josh Beckett.
Q: Wait, isn't Justin Timberlake in this movie?
A: Yes. Timberlake plays Johnny "The Flame" Flanagan, a former major league pitcher that Gus had scouted.
Q: So Justin Timberlake plays a star athlete? The Justin Timberlake that was in The Social Network?
A: Justin Timberlake plays a former star athlete. He blew out his arm and is currently scouting for the Boston Red Sox.
Q: Does Timberlake's Johnny Flanagan have aspirations of being a major league general manager someday?
A: No. Flanagan is hoping to parlay his scouting job into an announcing job with the Red Sox the following season.
Q: Wait, is that how it works? Scouts becoming announcers?
A: Not at all.
Q: What's the worst part about Trouble with the Curve?
A: When Flanagan makes what appears to be a mistake as a scout, then laments, "There goes my announcing job." This is the worst because one job has absolutely nothing to do with the other. Nothing.
Q: What would be a ridiculous comparison to make?
A: That would be like me writing a bad piece (we can use the one that you're currently reading, for example), then saying, "Well, there goes my job as an airline pilot. They'll never let me fly after they read my fake Q&A about Trouble with the Curve.
Q: What's the most unintentionally awkward scene in Trouble with the Curve?
A: A what-should-have been-a-touching-scene in which Gus has a one-way conversation with his deceased wife's gravestone.
Q: Did at any point the ghost of Gus's wife tell Mitt Romney to perform sexual acts on himself?
A: No, sadly.
Q: What's the oddest plot point in Trouble with the Curve?
A: The backstory on why Gus stopped bringing Mickey with him on scouting trips. It involves a horse, a child molester and footage of a Dirty Harry-era Clint Eastwood.
Q: On a score between one and 10, how big of a sap are you for the fact that you liked Trouble with the Curve?
A: Seven.
Q: With that amount of sap, how many bottles of maple syrup could you produce?
A: Somewhere between 30 and 35. Which, I should add, should not be consumed at anytime within a 48-hour period of seeing Trouble with the Curve, because that person would die from sap poisoning.
Q: If you're going to be blurbed this weekend in the commercials for Trouble with the Curve, what quote do you really hope is used?
A: "Sap!" Mike Ryan - The Huffington Post
Mike Ryan is senior entertainment writer for The Huffington Post. He has no aspirations to be an airline pilot. You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter.