Open your Internet browser and go straight to Google. Anyone experienced in online piracy knows that a search engine is your best friend, as pilfered digital material can be tucked away in unexpected places.
Type in "newsstand + [your zip code]." Basically, you're looking for a server or "mirror" that can give you convenient access to the New York Times' restricted articles.
Your search should lead you to a directory of newsstands in your neighborhood. Figure out which one is closest--the closer the downloading mirror is, the faster you'll get your hands on some illicitly obtained news.
Go outside and transport yourself to the newsstand you selected. How long this takes will depend on the strength of your wireless connection to reality.
When you arrive, look to the lower corners of the screen/your field of vision. There you'll find a stack of papers with an icon on top that looks exactly like the front page of the New York Times, except the headlines aren't hyperlinks. (Digital piracy sometimes means settling for a lower quality product.)
Quickly grab the New York Times icon and drag it into your coat or bag.
Navigate away, and congratulations: You're now ready to enjoy premium content ripped directly from the New York Times. Don't forget to delete your history.