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Kim Kardashian Divorce: The Irrelevant News That Ruined My Halloween

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It should have been a joyous day, one filled with pumpkins, trick-or-treating, candy-induced food comas and epic costumes, but I was busy grumbling about the most unlikely source.

Kim Kardashian.

The big-bottomed, buxom faux-celebrity who insists on inserting her giant assets into seemingly every realm of media. Most recently, Kardashian filed for divorce from her husband after a mere 72 days of marriage. Before that, E! aired her 2-hour wedding special, which some four million viewers watched. The reportedly $10 million affair occurred after Humphries proposed with a $2 million ring, which was preceded by an argument regarding Kim's excessively lavish lifestyle.

I don't know who's footing these bills, but it's money flaunted, spent and wasted during the worst economic decline in recent history.

Are the same people occupying Wall Street keeping up with the Kardashians? If so, we have big problems on our hands and ourselves to blame for entertainment discontent. Why are we watching mindless reality TV when real world problems persist and thought-provoking programs flood our screens? Are we trying to escape the dullness of our lives? Are we merely voyeuristic?

Psychology Today conducted a study to ascertain what inspires reality television viewers, concluding, "The message of reality television is that ordinary people can become so important that millions will watch them. And the secret thrill...is the thought that perhaps next time, the new celebrities might be them."

I suppose the more interesting question is why anyone would desire the level of attention celebrities possess when we routinely witness them careening off the rails. Charlie Sheen, anyone?

Instead of pondering that phenomenon, I'll return to a more specific consideration: what could cause such a quick divorce for two individuals as fame-hungry and vapid as Kardashian and Humphries? The two rarely speak in complete sentences and barely know one another.

Kim eloquently explained, "Sometimes things don't work out as planned."

Touché, Kim, touché: the same could be said for how I spent Halloween 2011.