7 Ways to Deal With Picky Eaters at Holiday Dinners

Normally, a bean casserole should not inspire huge amounts of anxiety. But it's the holidays -- a time of year when the expectations are often as big as the celebrations themselves -- and you can't stop worrying about that the huge get-together at your in-laws' house, with all their "important" friends who can't wait to meet your kids. And, yes, Grandma will be making her "famous bean casserole" -- the one that's causing your stomach to sink, because you can already hear your son taking one look at it and whining "Eeeeeeeewwwwww!" He is The Picky Eater.

And you will be the mortified parent everyone stares at when he objects to the food that's put in front of him. I have been there! You feel as though you've failed as a nutritionist, a caregiver, a mentor, a behaviorist -- in other words, a mom.

The truth is, everyone has or knows a picky eater, and my household is no different. I may be a professional chef with a handful of family-meal-geared cookbooks -- but I still worry about my loveable picky eater, and I still stress about being judged about it. When the holidays roll around, you're faced with more potential dining disasters and "judging moments" than usual (invited by boss, by old friend you haven't seen in ages, by distant relatives, etc.).

Since you can't magically make your child like beans -- or salmon or Brie en croute -- the instant an invitation arrives, here are some tips that have helped me dare to venture out into the dining sphere of holiday cheer:

• Don't wait to give the kids dinner until you get to the party. Feed them something before (preferably healthy) so they aren't hungry and nagging and whiny! And if they don't care for what's offered, no big deal.
• Don't forget to go over some ground rules. Such as: We never say "Gross" or "Eww, what's this?" at the dinner table -- and that goes for your house, too!
• Don't try to be the Nutrition Police on a special night. Relax the rules. There are 364 other days this year to get your kids to try spinach.
• Don't sit them next to someone who can be a bad influence (crazy Uncle Joe!). Try to find someone they know and admire, so they can emulate their good manners. Remember... behavior is contagious!
• Don't hesitate to use the hostess gift to your advantage! Bring an appetizer or dish that you know your child loves -- so at least he'll have one safe choice at the table.
• Don't make a big fuss if your child still reacts badly. Have a smart, humorous comeback line at the ready -- guaranteed to diffuse any mishap.
• And finally: Don't get so worked up! You might feel the pressure for your kids to behave. impeccably, but the truth is that most people don't share those expectations -- especially when we're talking friends and family. In fact, they'll likely relate and feel for you if a meltdown does occur. Perfect kids don't exist, so let this day slide with a smile on your face and start afresh with a good, healthy breakfast tomorrow.

 

 

 

Follow Missy Chase Lapine on Twitter: www.twitter.com/SneakyChef

Comments

[c-tom]

02:39 PM on 12/27/2011

"Don't make a big fuss if your child still reacts badly. Have a smart, humorous comeback line at the ready -- guaranteed to diffuse any mishap." My grandfather always said: Don't want any - Great that means more for the rest of us".

[stjoshy]

12:23 AM on 12/26/2011

my bro and i used to hate onions. n when we sat next to our grandpa he would kind of break our bawlz about not liking onions and ecouraged us to at least try some. he did this in a way that made us at least want to try, because he was so smart and awesome about everything else... so why not? .. long story short we both tried some and i ended up liking them from that day forward. my bro did not, but nobody nagged him because he at least tried it. u just gotta encourage them to try it and accept the way they react either way it turns out

[Missy Chase Lapine]

07:34 PM on 12/26/2011

sounds like an awesome Grandpa!!

[Karl Wilder]

02:55 PM on 12/25/2011

Picky eaters are made not born. If you have one you have both created him and coddled him and this advice insures that he will grow up with baby tastes intact.

[sort84]

09:10 PM on 12/26/2011

That's just not true at all. My fiance is an extremely picky eater at 35, and his is because of Aspergers. He dislikes the texture of many many foods....not because he was coddled.

[SicknSuffering no more]

12:30 AM on 12/25/2011

I have an apron that says it for me: Today's menu... Take it or Leave it.

[Missy Chase Lapine]

07:32 PM on 12/26/2011

good one :-)

[signgrrl]

08:45 PM on 12/23/2011

or, you could just let us be picky. one Thanksgiving, all i ate was stuffing and gravy, and pumpkin pie for dessert. it was wonderful. NO ONE NOTICED !!

[Missy Chase Lapine]

02:26 PM on 12/24/2011

LOL :-)
the main thing is to enjoy your friends and family! have fun.

[signgrrl]

04:41 PM on 12/24/2011

always !! you too !