By Amanda Russo
I had it all figured out. I was almost smug in my insistence that when I became a parent there were so many things that I would never do. I wasn't going to let my child run my life. It would be the other way around, of course. How wrong I was! I have learned time and time again that a sternly stated "never" is almost a guarantee that it will be so. Here are five things I swore I'd never do when I had kids... but now I do them all the time.
1. Let her have a pacifier beyond six months.
I work in a pre-school. I spent years telling parents that pacifiers are evil. They interfere with speech production, and there's just no reason for them to be used beyond the first few weeks of life. I didn't understand why parents insisted of babying their children for so long! All I can say is that my daughter is THREE AND A HALF years old and she still uses a pacifier to fall asleep at night.
2. Use a stroller after she could walk.
I used to see parents pushing preschoolers in strollers and I would think, "How spoiled! What is wrong with those parents? That kid can barely fit in that stroller." I now acutely see the error of my ways. The insufferable whining about tired legs is enough to justify it. How are we supposed to get anywhere without a stroller? I can't imagine life without that thing. We would barely make it one block.
3. Make two dinners.
This one I was serious about. If my daughter didn't eat what we gave her at dinner than she simply would not eat. I refused to be a short order cook and cater to a little child's silly pickiness. I held on to this one for a good while, but now I make two dinners each night like every other parent on earth -- one for myself and my husband and one for my picky daughter.
4. "Let" her misbehave.
Airplanes, trains, movie theaters, restaurants... these used to be places where I would adamantly stomp my foot upon witnessing children's misbehavior and think, "I will never let my child act like that!" Very soon after birth, I realized that we don't let our children do much of anything. They are living breathing little humans with their own minds and feelings and they are completely out of our control. Really, we're just along for the ride.
5. Abandon my social life.
I knew that I wouldn't be out dancing at the club every night after having a kid, but I also insisted that I would get a baby sitter at least once a week so I could go out with my husband or my friends. Nope. I do go out sometimes, and occasionally I even go on a date with my husband, but the energy to have any kind of a social life evaporated long ago. I'd rather cuddle up on the couch and fall asleep with my family on a Saturday night... and that's something I thought I'd never say.
What is on your list of "nevers"? Share with us in the comments!
Photos courtesy of Amanda Russo
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This piece was originally published by Amanda Russo on Mommy Nearest. Amanda is a certified preschool special education teacher. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and daughter.
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