Why Do I Feel Sorry For Hillary?

Q: All of my friends are thrilled with Barack Obama. I feel some of that myself and I also appreciate the excitement he's injected into the presidential race and the vast numbers of new people he's attracted to the political process. Still, I can't help feeling sorry for Hillary Clinton. This is not something I've felt with other politicians. They win, they lose and it's all part of the process. This, time, though, it's different. Why?

A: Let's put aside the possibility that you may be seeing something in Hillary that reminds you of your own relationship or your own fear of exposure. Let's instead just deal with what Hillary personally, not politically, may be going through.

In the first place, how many times have you sat with friends and the question is, "Should Hillary leave Bill"? When I am asked that question, I always point out that no two relationships are the same and they all don't have the same breaking points. While one person may insist on conventional sexual fidelity, another may prefer the (virtually sexual) excitement of a shared intellectual journey and shared goals. Sexual fidelity may be preferred, but not a deal breaker.

Hillary and Bill always seemed to be on the same career track. One or the other of them -preferably both - would wield vast political power. To achieve that goal, Hillary may have set aside any thoughts of sexual fidelity on Bill's part. Their partnership was more important than any affair, their goals more important than any other woman. If Hillary wins the presidency, we could all say, "Oh, we understand now why they stayed together and how they enjoyed and needed each other." If Hillary loses -- and at this point, things are not looking good for her -- she and we have to revisit her rationale for staying in the marriage.

In addition, Hillary has to revisit that sickening feeling of betrayal. When she had to publicly face the humiliation of her husband's dalliance, she had to privately or unconsciously deal with the ultimate question, "Am I not appealing enough?" If Hillary is rejected by the voters, after having previously been seen as virtually invincible, she has to ask a version of that same question: "Why aren't I likable enough?"

We have to have compassion for someone who has to publicly or privately face defeat and, whatever she says, a kind of humiliation. And when, as all losing candidates must do, she put on her game face and cheerfully supports Obama for president, she will in effect be mimicking the face she put on for her wandering husband and the support she gave through so much pain and humiliation. It's painful to watch this happening -for her, certainly, but for us, too.

Comments

[ariadne1]

why do people feel sorry for hillary? because hillary wants them to feel sorry for her.

everytime she looks as though she is losing... she cries. oh, btw she cried again in wisconsin.

[Mollye]

Oh Please, there is absolutely no need for this. I hope she wins, I voted for her. I think she is the most qualified person for the job...and what a tough job it will be. If she does not win, she will go on to live the most wonderful life. She will be like Al Gore, do great things for mankind and live a very successful life. I'm surprised we can get anyone of her high caliber to even run for office.

[larry278]

I don't choose to feel sorry or to feel pity for HRC. I choose to admire HRC. I don't want to dilute my admiration with pity for her or tears. I don't know what Hillary has faced in what is called her soul. I can't possibly know that. Only Hillary can ever know that. She is, without doubt, brave. I can't even walk in her shoes or upon the path she has chosen for herself.
Yes, HRC cries in public. Recently she has cried tears of resolve, determination & strength. She probably is more than human enough to cry tears of pain, joy & relief in her privacy.
I don't understand Hillary. I don't understand women. I'm more than satisfied to love & admire women. If she gets the nomination of her party to be POTUS-I will vote for her in Nov '08. She will beat Sen Obama, the candidate I favor, if she gets the nomination. Regardless of whom the Republicans nominate for POTUS-I'll vote for her Hillaryship. If she becomes POTUS on 1/20/09-I'll be glad. She will not be MY POTUS. She will be President of all people in the USA.
A caviet [sp]: if her Republican opponent takes the oath on 1/20/09-I'll accept him with many reservations & a feeling of watchful resignation; after 8 yrs of W & Co- I'll hope for the best but prepare for the worst of the worst. However, I will admire & love Hillary for what she is. No, I don't know if I will always love & admire Hillary. HRC is a human being; that makes her capable of anything. I don't aim to borrow trouble by worrying about her Hillaryships future. I will leave it at that.

[lamarguerite]

There is a lesson for Hillary to learn in both cases. Hillary has been trying to hard to be one of the boys. When she starts acting from her feminine self, she will find that her life stops being so hard, both at home and in her political life. People, husbands, want to relate to a real woman, not someone driven by her animus, and acting as a fake man.

http://lamarguerite.wordpress.com

[user168]

Let's put it this way:

1) It takes intelligence to know oneself and know others, be able to vision one's purpose of life, and to stay faithful and true to such purpose by doing the right thing. Obviously, Bill Clinton lacks the intelligence to identify a purpose or to do what's right.

2) Bad action tells a lack of intelligence or kindness, or both. When is intentional, it is an act of unkind. Obviously, Bill Clinton is unkind.

3) What sort of a person secures his/her own gratification over somebody else's loss? Coward. Obviously, Bill Clinton is a coward.

Birds of a feather flock together. I feel sorry for Hillary the same way I feel sorry for the mindless, the heartless, and the soulless. But hey, the blame is he who chooses.

"What it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do."

Suggestion to Hillary: try stay true to yourself and to others.

[progressivepam]

Bill Clinton had truly identified a purpose since the end of his presidency, and frankly was doing a damned good job. Problem is, he needed to step away from that to help Hillary get the WH, and has certainly gotten carried away. Too bad for both of them. He had been a stellar ex-president.

[barackoblogger]

Ok,

I am an Obama supporter, but I do feel sorry for her because I just wish she'd go away with some dignity and her head held high.

I wish she'd stop the campaigning, and get behind Obama who could WIN the nomination for the Democrats.

But I see her as the Flying Dutchman of campaigning. She'll just keep going on and on, even after Obama wins the nomination.

You'll see her at night when the moon is full preparing another stump speech.

Lady, give it a rest already.

[vandegrasse]

She's to be pitied because she made a deal with the Devil, basically agreeing with him to forgive and forget if he helps become President too. Her forgiveness had a purpose and it's not panning out the way she wanted it to. That's life, Hil.

[VernonC]

Why should anyone consider a person they feel sorry for for president? This isn't a fancy tea party, it's cut throat politics and no one plays it meaner than the Clintons. We should feel pity for her/their opponents, they went through the rubes in Arkansas like s--t through a goose and Washington DC is awash with naive supporters abandoned in their wake.

[ghoombahds]

Let's see, why isn't she likeable enough?

Well, for starters, she voted for the Iraq war despite the fact that most liberals knew it to be a sham by a dangerous war-mongering idiot.

Two, she voted against banning cluster bombs.

Three, she has repeatedly spoke praise of NAFTA, accepts more contributions from lobbyists and big business that even the Republican candidate, and while in the Senate voted in favor of the Credit Card industry's "screw-the-consumer" bankruptcy bill- and as of today tries to sell herslef as some sort of populist out to fight the good fight against big business.

Four, she's not released her tax returns which scares me that perhaps there's something to hide there that will wack us in a general election.

Five, she and Bill tried to marginalize Barack as the "black candidate" during South Carolina, an attempt to pander to white racist dems.

Six, ..... oh what the hell. Don't you Hillary supporters think that a triangulating, conservative, war voting nominee isn't the democratic candidate we've been waiting for all these years? Do we HAVE to vote for the first woman to come along with real chances even if she's the WRONG candidate?

Please.

[Kellmarr]

Hillary does not need any sympathy. She's never asked for it and does not have the need to ask her supporters for it now. Hillary Clinton is first and formost, self actualized. She is a formidible candidate and a great politician. She does not collapse under pressure. Seeing her speak in El Paso TX yesterday she showed continued conviction to go forward in her quest for the hardest job in the world. Why anybody wants to subject themselves to the scruitiny she gets on a daily basis from the media is beyond me, but it certainly is admirable. The reason I support her candidacy is that she has a platform of substance. She has a purpose and a mission to clean up the "SUPER MESS" GWB has left this country in because she actually gives a damn about the future of this country and the people in it. Obama says follow me to the FUTURE of CHANGE, but he has yet to map out any plan to get this country out of the mess we're currently in now. You can't just walk away from the mess and expect it to just disappear because you are building a new FUTURE of CHANGE on a wing and a prayer. For those who are jumping on the Obama "Peace and Love train", it just may derail at the "Rush Limbaugh Station". Until the current crisis' are addressed and dealt with there is no future. Hillary can deal with the current crisis' stand up to the Republican Attack Machine, and get this country back on track without any sympathy from anybody. What Hillary needs is strong support from those people who are clammoring for CHANGE. There is a time for an Obama Presidency, but the time is not NOW.

[gala1]

Exactly.

We are all sheep in Rove's flock. We repeatedly divide ourselves and he gets to conquer. We are now running on Rove's automatic pilot.

When McCain is sworn in on Inauguration Day, I do hope all the people on the Huffington Post that made it possible have a good cry about what they've given us.
Four more years of what we've got right now.

Obama is a great guy. He is just not an electable one when run against McCain. Particularly without Hillary as a running mate.
And I truly hope she is smart enough not to be VP.

The average citizen has had eight years of pie in the sky rhetoric and nothing tangible.

They are sick of being told to dream or new dawns or whatever politically correct fluff is being tossed into the winds.
In wartime and hard times you need to be able to sell the nation something a bit more than lullabies.

McCain is a vet that's kicked butt and been around Congress.
Actually you could say the same for Hillary, who could win against McCain. But no one will shut the hell up and let her do what needs to be done.

So once again we Democrats will let it all slip through our fingers.
No wonder we have an ass as a symbol. There should be a lemming or two perched on its back.

Our only chance is if whoever runs the Democratic Party recalls that this is politics and not a popularity contest for prom king.
But if they did what was needed and what was shrewd and what was best given the candidates they have instead of screwing up YET AGAIN , then they'd be Republicans.

gala

[Eduardodelazul411]

What the both of you are overlooking is how divisive Hillary is, and how Obama is actually pulling many people together, including many independents and Republicans in small states.

On the subject of surviving against the Republican machine alone, lest we forget, Hillary Clinton is seen as a walking target by them, and they WILL open fire on her.

[shano]

Excuse me, but the majority of polls have Obama beating McCain and Hillary losing to McCain.

While I have never understood the RW boiling hatred of Hillary, since her term as first lady, it is a fact that cannot be ignored. She would bring out the RW in record numbers to vote against her, even if they don't like McCain all that much.

Enough of this Clinton soap opera already!

Besides, Obama was with me when I marched, with 15 million others worldwide, against Bush starting the war in Iraq.
Obama '08.

[jrterrier]

I'm not sure I agree with this column. If I feel sorry for Hillary it's because of the unfair way in which she is being treated by comparison to Obama. When she wins the biggest states -- CA, NY, NJ, MASS -- she hardly gets any media. I am fairly certain that if Obama had won those states, he would have been declared the WINNER no matter how many smaller states Obama had garnered. While she had the lead in delegates, the media didn't focus on it. Now that Obama has inched ahead, it's all any one can talk about.

[antaeus]

On his show tonight Dan Abrams accused Huffington Post of doing exactly what you describe.

[slok]

no need to feel sorry..... wait till March 5th as the tides changes....... :-) Hillary will be just fine -- as she marches straight to The White House...... :-)

[moda31]

i did feel bad for hillary during the whole monica-gate episode. i recognize that all relationships are different, and if hillary felt their marriage was worth saving, fine. however, the fact that she didn't HAVE to put up with anything, means that i'm not obligated to feel sorry for her. i respect her RIGHT to make the choice that she made, though i don't agree with it. i felt bad for her then, but i don't feel sorry for her now.

[ObamaEdwards]

Please! No crying in baseball. No crying in politics. If she can't take it, she can go home. She's wealthy, well educated, has many friends, and is privileged in every way!

Get over it.

[knerd]

A sense of empathy is a necessary antidote to our human penchant for cruelty.

I see cruelty as an unmistakable sign of evil.

[nainam97]

I do feel sorry for Hillary, but not enough to vote for her. She's just one of millions of women who have put up with an unfaithful hubby.

No one seems to be asking this question: "If a sitting President's wife had sex with a male intern in the Oval Office, what would you expect him to do when it became public?"

I think we all know the answer: the President would kick her butt out of the White House and the nation would applaud his outrage and the ensuing divorce.

Let's go back a few more years, when Gary Hart got busted for his little getaway with Donna Rice (I think that was her name.) When they had the press conference where Mrs.Hart "stood by her man" I thought I would throw up.

Why didn't Hillary and Mrs. Hart both stand up to the microphone and say: "Any man who could betray me could betray the nation, by all means never even think of voting for him again."

Oh, I forgot---Jackie Kennedy could have done the same thing, except she was fooling around too. Also, the press never ratted on her husband so it was a "private" matter.

What a bunch of baloney this all is. Never feel sorry for a woman who is so insecure or hungry for wealth and/or power that she stays with a husband who fools around.

Especially one who thinks she's strong enough to be President.

I would bet about a million bucks that Michelle Obama would kick Barack's ass to the moon if he fooled around on her!!

[wry]

Oh please...I'm sure Obama never has. He's not a politician or anything like that.
And if he were President (making her First Lady) and she found out he was unfaithful, I'm sure she'd give up her role as First Lady and move out of the White House.
She's superior to every other woman who ever held the office.

[jrterrier]

huh? are you being sarcastic or are you serious?

how can you (or anyone) know that Michelle is superior to every other woman who ever held the office.

What are you basing this on? A few TV interviews? Do you know her personally? How well do you know the other first ladies?

[Alb8325]

Hillary deserves a rest. Let her take the next eight years off.

Tell her not to call; we'll call her when we need her.