Enough of the Sniping About Hillary and Michelle

It's not easy being a mother. It's not easy working and raising a family. Anyone who says otherwise either has a full-time household staff or needs serious therapy. This afternoon, for instance, I have to pick up my daughter from school, drive my son to the doctor, figure out dinner, pay bills, ferry my daughter to soccer practice, and somewhere in here return work calls. If only my secretary weren't sick. Oh, that's right -- I don't have a secretary. Sometimes I'm on the road so much I feel like I'm on the campaign trail.

This does not make for much glamour. But it does make for real life. Now multiply that insanity 1000 times. Imagine being the wife of a presidential candidate. Every time you open your mouth, make some remark about the importance of family, putting your young daughters first, the media accuses you of either pandering to holier-than-thou conservatives or being snarky about your husband's main political rival. Who just happens to be female. What an awful mother she is. What a phony she is. And the ultimate put-down: How she can't handle her man.

This is the question that many in the blogosphere are furiously debating now about Michelle Obama: Was she trashing Hillary when she told a reporter, "If you can't run your own house, you can't run the White House"? Was she not so delicately suggesting that she was a better wife and mother than Hillary?

Parse it any way you want, but if Michelle were a Harvard-trained lawyer named Michael we wouldn't even be debating this. But we are. And because we are still living in the political dark ages in this country as far as women are concerned, notwithstanding a female Speaker in the House and a female presidential candidate, here is what I think Michelle Obama meant: If you can't keep your kids in line, juggle a job, grocery shopping, school meetings, soccer, fundraisers, birthday parties and your husband's insanely busy work life and look halfway presentable while doing it, then the White House is probably not for you.

I tend to agree with her. I, for one, would be very bad at it since my house is perennially in chaos and my hair is messy. Just this morning the 14-year-old was running around before school yelling, "Aren't there any socks?" "Look in your brother's room!" I shouted back.

I bet that doesn't happen in the Obama household. Not because Michelle Obama is fussy about laundry, but because she's incredibly focused and organized and serious. And she doesn't take guff from her charismatic though flawed husband. Quit smoking, she told Barack, or you can forget about that little ambition of yours of running for president.

But the main reason I think that Michelle wasn't insulting Hillary is because she wouldn't. She's got too much class and poise and self-respect to engage in the unseemly politics of personal attacks. She has too much awareness of the struggles women have gone through, the difficulties they face and the distance they still have to go on such pressing issues as health care, childcare, and achieving economic parity with men. Given her own demanding life and experience as a part-time single parent as her husband campaigns, she knows she could tackle the dizzying responsibilities of the White House with one hand tied behind her back. So could that other woman, the one conservative troublemakers like Drudge keep trying to pit Michelle Obama against. And who said men weren't catty?

As far as the White House goes, it's too bad Michelle isn't running against Hillary. Either woman would be far superior to the current male occupant.

Comments

[Susiq]

Comment still doesn't make sense though, since "if you can't run your own house, you can't run the white house implies that none of our presidents have been capable of running the white house - since none of them have run a household. which, actually could be true.

I think that it says something that both Michelle Obama and Elizabeth Edwards come off as smarter, gutsier and more real than either of their husbands....

[RAMHaiti]

Bush seems to have his family situation under control. I guess that means he's a good president.

Most Republicans and moral majority people that use the "Family" as a campaign tool are secretly banging boys and prostitutes on the side.

Talking about "family" isn't going to provide Obama with the experience he needs to run the country.

[Rhydderch69]

But they did just get an 'endorsement' from Giuliani's daughter. And yes, that's not a particularly glowing recommendation of Rudy's ability to run his own house.

But why didn't the media follow up on that story?

[lafrance]

Amen. That is what no one in the media could get while they parsed her meaning. Michelle Obama is very classy and would never go for such an mud slinger. And she is too outspoken. If she has anything to say about Hillary she will say so in no uncertain terms. Michelle does not play those Washington games.
I do love your one line that had me laughing out loud hard.
"quit smoking or you can forget about that little ambition of yours to run for president"
Now, that, Michelle would say.

[rikyrah]

This comment is pending approval and won't be displayed until it is approved.
Michelle Obama is too busy trying

1. to humanize her husband,
2. to relate to her overwhelmingly White audiences,
and
3. to help redefine the image of the Black Family..

to be concerned with taking swipes at Hillary Clinton.

[sigrid13]

Oh men are terribly catty; they're shameless gossips as well. It's all about projection.

They looove a 'cat-fight' and will go to great lengths to set one up. "I have an idea! Let's you and her fight!"

[Markson]

All you have to do is read her quote in context, hell just read the very next sentence and you will see she was talking about her family, specifically parenting. So even if she was trying to talk smack it would have been about raising your children and not infidelity.

This is so blatantly absurd, I can't but help believe all too many people will believe it.

[nunzia]

It's a stupid non-dispute, dreamed up by Drudge) whose website I have never read, ugh) and - of course - hyped by the msm.
On a Riechwing male could drum up such a dispute. Chelsea's in her 20's for chrissake.

[NABNYC]

I thought the Michelle Obama comment was a sideways smack at Hillary, and I thought that was perfectly okay. After all, everyone knows Hillary's husband has that nasty cigar habit. Why should that be off-limits?

The Hillary campaign is running this way: she can say anything she wants, including ridiculous comments like the surge is working, and she is off-limits. No one can criticize her.

Then she sends her pitbulls out to attack attack attack Edwards and Obama. That is, when the pitbulls aren't otherwise busy shaking down the corporate CEOs for more money.

I like Michelle Obama. I like Elizabeth Edwards. I used to like Hillary Clinton before she became a Republican. But I don't like the suggestion that women somehow are restricted in what they are allowed to say or not say. Michelle could not possibly have been taking a smack at Hillary because it wouldn't have been ladylike to do so? Women are much more aggressive than men in many ways, and I look forward to seeing that developed and explored in the campaign next year.

No more Democratic ladies' tea parties on our side. Let's go for mud wrestling and make it really fun. Or let's just encourage our candidates and their spouses to say what they think. What a radical idea.

[lafrance]

NABNYC, you hit it on the spot. No one is allowed to say a thing that is not gushing about Hillary.
She can do and say whatever. Or as some audience members at the Iowa debate were saying to themselves, she could just not show up and the media would go on and on about how she won.
that is it.
Too bad the media doesn't read it's mail and comments to see how the real people feel about their little darling.

[VetMichael]

Absolutely wonderful. Thanks for putting it in perspective. Though I would like to caution some of my fellow commentators; it's not just right-wing talking heads playing up this "tiff" between Hillary and Michelle, it's worse than that - it's all the news media outlets. Why? because sound-bites sell and in the age of text messaging and fifteen-second "in depth" reportage, that's all the news media WANT you to hear. If it's not sexy - and who DOESN'T think a political "cat fight" isn't sexy? - then they don't want you to listen to it because waiting in the wings is another sensationalist story about McCain's failing finances or Juliani's comb-over or - better yet - a teaser for a Mrs. Edwards/Ann Coulter tussle (this time in lime gelatin) waiting in the wings! All to sell you another gallon of Bacardi *PARTAAAY* rum, Viagra/Cialis, and the "eco-friendly" H3. As Chuck D, Terminator X, and Flava Flav once told you: "Don't believe the hype."

[Magdalena]

"See...we are still talking about it here aren't we? And, in the world of campaigning, it's a good thing."

It is never a good thing to spread a lie. This is the kind of thing that looses elections. You do remember the "swift boaters". Small lie, lost election.

[pregnantexec]

I personally thought the household comment was not the brightest words to have been uttered by such a smart lady. Michelle is an exceptionally intelligent and I thought her comment was unnecessary. I am also positive that she was aware of the controversy it has the potential to create. Hey, it is a race for the primary and free press is good press.

See...we are still talking about it here aren't we? And, in the world of campaigning, it's a good thing.

Erin

[DeanOR]

The out-of-context quote from Ms Obama was from right-wing sources: the Chicago Sun-Times, which has made up stuff like this about Democrats before, and conservative blogger Drudge. A quick look at Michelle's entire statement makes it perfectly clear that she was talking about her own family. After the wingnuts started this fabrication, MSM picked it up without checking facts. (They love what they call a "cat fight", since they can't conceive of two intelligent women disagreeing in any other way. Lacking a cat fight, they made one up, and they hate Hillary). This is a typical Bush Republican smear tactic, and unfortunately we'll see a lot more of it.

[SensibleAmerican]

I am all for Hillary and personally think Obama is all fluff. Nevertheless, if you read all that Ms. Obama said, she was referring to herself and not Hillary

The far right and the far left are so polarized that they see everything in extremes. The mutual distrust is palpable and borders on insanity!
The media wants a cat fight as it helps them sell their wares and hike up ratings

Then there are sensible people in the "middle/center" like you, who can actually think and read between the lines without distorting them!

[KAP]

The media are always looking for (a) conflict and (b) soundbites. Mrs. Obama's antagognism certainly seemed to be a diatribe, and it becomes very long as it's streched to the tucking in anecdote. I'd imagine Iowans believe the rule about those who exalt themselves. That, and a natural sense of humility are probably why Hillary never had to tell us what a good mother she was.

[MPeter]

What a beautiful piece. Thank you for straightening them up. You nailed Michelle's message on the head. Good work.

[lilygrace]

Michelle Obama is fantastic--Intelligent, passionate, and honest. She speaks to the heart of what it is to be a woman, wife, professional, and mother. Rewarding, but also utterly exhausting.