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Why You Shouldn't Propose On A Holiday

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NO HOLIDAY PROPOSAL
alamy

Ah. Love is in the air! The first blush. The real McCoy. The you-can't-be-a-moment-without-your-new love feeling. There's a spring to your step and, if I'm not mistaken, a song in your heart. Yes, this is it definitely it. Which can only mean one thing:

You're ready to propose.

Aack! Hold everything! Before you do, allow me to sober you up for a minute, and give you a wake-up call. Trust me, I can spare you some pain later on. You should know this now, before you take that leap.

First of all, what you're feeling, we've all felt at one point or another. Yes, we all know what it's like to be so in love that everything else falls by the wayside. But unfortunately, when that happens, common sense takes a hike, too.

Which is why, I'm doing you a favor today. When it comes to proposing -- and I just know, you want it to be perfect and romantic -- never, but never, propose on Valentine's Day. Scratch Christmas, too. Might as well rule out Christmas Eve, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. And don't even think about popping the question on your true love's birthday.

Because if you do, you might as well put the kiss of death on your wedding vows. You might as well put the kibosh on the whole enchilada of a wedding. And, yank the "Just Married" banner off the back of the limo. Throw in the towel, too. Because if you propose on one of these holidays, you have just cursed your marriage and doomed it to fail. I kid you not.

Sure, it's très romantic to get engaged on Valentine's Day, or to surprise your intended on their birthday with a platinum engagement ring. But, as sweet as this sounds, you're not thinking big picture. What if, heaven forbid, the marriage isn't a happily-ever-after one? What if you part ways, say two, five or ten years down the line?

Should that happen, you and your ex will have a lifetime of misery when Valentine's Day comes along, breaking your heart all over again, as you remember that fateful day when you proposed. And for what? Because you just had to propose on a romantic holiday? If the proposal had been on any other day, then the probability of remembering the date and getting all torn up about it, is slim to none. Zilch, really.

I should know. My ex, in his infinite wisdom, proposed to me on Valentine's Day, and now, that day is nothing but a thorn in my side. Just two months earlier, we had decided we'd live together and not marry until he finished school. Then, Valentine's Day comes along and turns him into mush. He makes the most romantic dinner, replete with candlelight, wine, soft music and the proverbial getting down on one knee, giving me no choice but to throw my arms around him and say, yes.

Yada, yada, yada, and 12 years later we divorce. Well, all I can say is, I curse the day he chose February 14th to seal the deal. That day, with all its trimmings -- chocolate, Valentine's cards, flowers, more chocolates -- had been one of my favorite holidays. Now, it's tainted goods. Every February 14th, I run and hide, comforting myself by watching old Cary Grant films and, eating heart-shaped chocolates alone, until the day is over, and I, once again, can resume living.

So take heed. If you have to pick a holiday to make the engagement extra special, why not choose Arbor Day or Flag Day? Memorial Day might be fitting. Come to think of it, no one ever thinks about proposing on Veteran's Day. Of course if you want to see sparks fly, then choose the 4th of July. What could be more romantic than your very own fireworks display?

And if you have to pick your sweetie's birthday, consider instead popping the question on your own. That way, should the marriage dissolve, as half of all marriages inevitably do, only you will be tormented by the decision you made. Trust me, you'll never look at your birthday in the same way. But never fear, should all this come to pass, I have some Cary Grant DVD's you're welcome to borrow.

Around the Web

The Perfect Proposal - AskMen

Proposing - Proposals - Marriage Proposals - TheKnot.com

Ten Tips to Proposing - Relationships