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Monique Frausto

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My Non-Spanish Speaking Life

Posted: 01/20/12 08:01 AM ET

I'm brown, proud, and I don't speak Spanish. My grandparents are from Mexico and although my parents were born in the United States, they speak it fluently. Me on the other hand-I get the "gist" of most conversations, can kind of read it, and I sometimes watch novelas to see if I understand what they're saying.

After reading Latina magazine's "Are We Losing Our Language," I was inspired to finally write this and share what I've been through. It turns out I'm not alone and this story may be very familiar to some of you.

I've been told my dad didn't speak English when he first attended kindergarten. Being born in the 1950's is very different than being born today. I'm guessing they didn't offer English as a Second Language (ESL) classes in school. The end result? My dad having a very rough time and often being mistreated by his teachers.

This pretty much sealed my fate. My dad told us he didn't want us to go through what he went through. He never spoke to us in Spanish and we never learned. Little did I know that this decision, would affect me the way it has.

It wasn't until I was in junior high school, when I started to realize how important being bilingual was. My own grandma would speak to my brother and I in a condescending and rude way if we didn't understand what she was telling us. In fact, she still does this today.

In high school, there were times my "friends" would purposely speak Spanish in front of me, that way I wouldn't understand what they were talking about. And although I felt like an outsider, it didn't stop me from loving my heritage and culture. I made sure to get involved in any program or club that was aimed at Latinos and work hard in my Spanish classes. My mom never understood how I was getting A's, but would never use what I learned.

While serving in the United States Air Force, this wasn't much of an issue. During that time, the percentage of Latinos was very low. This made the priority of learning the language move to the bottom of the list. I didn't have to speak it, so why the rush?

All through college I struggled. This didn't matter. I still created my directory (Blogs by Latinas) when I graduated. I was often invited to meet up with the other blogueras here in Los Angeles, but I denied or ignored their invites. I didn't feel Latina enough for them. I didn't realize how wrong and foolish I was. I should have never let myself feel ashamed or embarrassed because I didn't speak Spanish.

Today, my husband, who is fluent, is slowly teaching me. And when we have kids, I will raise them bilingual and immerse them in our culture. I want them to be proud of their roots and know that being able to speak two languages is an honor.

I look back, and although I've had a hard time growing up not speaking Spanish, I don't think I would change anything. I've learned a lot along the way. I appreciate who I am and where I came from more than ever.

 

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10:59 AM on 03/07/2012
The key to anything successful is good communication. If we can not communicate properly, then failure is eminent. Learning any other language is highly recommended. Although you're parents meant well for not teaching you Spanish; it did hinder your ability to communicate with those who only spoke Spanish. Good thing for you is that you are able to adapt and overcome; and are able to communicate with millions through your blogs. Keep it up. Oh, and it wouldn't hurt to learn Filipino either. :)
07:01 PM on 01/27/2012
Very interesting post. As an "anglo," I am ALSO often embarrassed that my Spanish is not better. Why? Because a lot of people speak it and I want to talk to them in their own language, not the one they are often struggling with. I love the Spanish language and would do anything to speak it better.

All the best to Monique in her quest to improve her Spanish so she can pass it down to her kids. I am also pushing Spanish on my own kids, who are at a disadvantage because they don't get to use it enough in our home. We have two Spanish teachers in our family, and travel to Spanish-speaking countries whenever we get the chance. It's fun to learn another language! I do not understand anyone who has a punishing attitude toward ESL or bilingual programs. Very narrow-minded and a shame that anyone would think highly of themselves for wanting to put young children at a disadvantage in the classroom.
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BiggpussJr
The more we divide the more divided we will be..
03:15 PM on 01/23/2012
Your grandfather taught you well, You do not need spanish if you are an American. Now if you consider yourself a mexican....well
06:04 PM on 01/24/2012
We are cultural chauvinists in this country - as a result we speak only one language ( and we do a poor job of training and crawl on the floor of literacy in the world).

It is true that our Latino parents and children should learn English - to make it possible to climb above the predominantly menial jobs they hold.
06:30 PM on 01/24/2012
Learn Spanish & teach your children - we are wrong in this country to speak only one language.
Americans are not highly rated in world literacy because we are cultural chauvinists - it is not good for us to only command one language.
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BiggpussJr
The more we divide the more divided we will be..
08:54 PM on 01/24/2012
Then learn Chinese, Russian, Korean or even Arabic, but never spanish.
06:18 PM on 01/21/2012
You can get advice to check following:

Bilingualism in raising children.

There are many ways in which interference from one language to the other can happen. This can lead to fossilized errors in both languages. There is a simple way to avoid this. Simple, but maybe not easy.

One parent speaks one language to child ALL the time. (Never the other)
Other parent speaks other language to child ALL the time. (Never the other)
This until children reach eight years old.

Okay, occasional slips and exceptions are okay. Occasionally.
01:19 PM on 01/21/2012
Your father was right. Be proud of him.
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livingbettertherapy
Counselor, Therapist, Strategic Intervention
11:23 PM on 01/20/2012
Speaking more than one language opens many doors and brings more opportunities to reach clients. It is not unusual to amass a dedicated client base twice as large as one's competitiors when one can operate in at least one more language than they do.
06:19 PM on 01/21/2012
Assuming correct usage in both languages, I would agree.
mira chancleta
No ball-balancing, clapping, belching seals!
01:35 PM on 01/22/2012
LBT,
I would agree with you EXCEPT for the abundance of useless "bilingual" programs in the States that don't amount to anything more than ILLITERACY in two languages.

I grew up in a Spanish (home), Mandarin (neighborhood) English(school) linguisitic context and succeeded in all three as a child and continued to acquire linguistic abilities in several other languages since then.

The recurring problem with many of these programs today is that they become infested with 3rd rate "teachers", politically-motivated administrative agendas and minimal "parental" participation and at the end, few students function at even minimal levels because standards and other metrics of measure get reduced to "racism" and other fallacious political delusions.

And who suffers? I'll let you answer that.
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livingbettertherapy
Counselor, Therapist, Strategic Intervention
11:01 PM on 01/22/2012
One of the best teacher in my neighborhood turned out to be my mother, a homemaker. She was born and raised in Puerto Rico. She didn't like the fact that many of the immigrant children in our neighborhood were falling behind in their studies and repeating grades, so she started her own free English literacy program in the 1960s in our upper Manhattan neighborhood. Although many Spanish speaking children benefited from her program her first students were actually from Italy.
05:37 PM on 01/20/2012
But see how great that experience paid off? You created the best Latina directory on the internet! And your passion to share your heritage shows every day. I'm sure your Dad is proud of you.
03:20 PM on 01/20/2012
Thank you for your honesty! You are wonderful!
I speak fluently and look Latina but growing up I was not considered "Latina" enough for the other Latino kids because I was in all the honors classes and was a social butterfly. Hopefully things will improve I am raising my kids to be Bilingual and proud of their roots.
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12:41 PM on 01/20/2012
There are many immigrant groups that refuse to tow the assimilationist line and enroll their kids in language classes to maintain contact with the country and culture of origin. In NYC, where I grew up, I had Greek friends who were perfectly fluent in Greek and English--this common practice was even immortalized in the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." Of course you send your kids to Greek school! Here in Chicago, where I now live, the Polish send their kids to "Polish school" regularly too. I don't hear anyone complaining about these groups doing this.

The attacks against Latinos for speaking Spanish is grounded in racism and historical bias against all things not European. To maintain the language is an important form of resistance to the "melting pot" ideology that attempts to convert us all into generic consumers of mainstream media, products, etc. For Latinos to have the influence they rightly deserve they must find strong bonds and commonalities--Spanish language is surely one of them.
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Maggie Urrely
When we label we segregate
06:35 PM on 01/20/2012
You have a good arguemment however think about this. How many generations of greeks and polish live here send their kids to "greek school" or "polish school" Do you know the cirriculum they teach aside from language and culture preservation? Preservering language and culture is a beautiful and wonderful thing all ethnic groups here do very well. I have a problem with hispanic folks who from day one refuse to assimilate. I also have a problem with the whole "not Latino enough" bull crap! Instead of praising someone who excels in school, has a career and can articulate is all of a sudden "not Latino enough" And as far as being generic consuming of mainstream media and corporations that's universal. Where I work my customers are mainly from Central and South America and they are as shallow, as generic with a bigger "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality as their anglo-american counterparts. Getting back to the topic from this diversion; I embrace language and culture preservation, what I dont appreciate is this claim of racism and comparing other groups who mastered the task of assimilation and preservation. There are many hispanic men and women who assimilated, learned the languaged, worked hard and are successful. Assimilating doesn't mean killing off your language and culture What I don't appreicate is the "not latino enough" attitude that hurts us more than helps us. We will never grow as a community if we keep up with this foolishness
mira chancleta
No ball-balancing, clapping, belching seals!
07:05 PM on 01/20/2012
A couple of points of clarification:

1... "Spanish" is a European language. Dancing Chihuahuas on those "media venues" you cite, don't change that.

2...NO. It is NOT exclusively about "racism". It's more about an HUGE cultural/social demographic shift that will change the world we all call "America" more in 20 years than in the last 200...it's like that teenager that grows 1 foot in a summer. It's NEVER a graceful transition and this new"unplanned"growth is going to continue to be very painful for a LONG time to come.

3...You can't compare the Polish communities of Illinois or the Greek communities in NYC who came here to"become"Americans and STAY in America...These 2 aspects are NOT representative of theILLEGAL psyche today. Especially when sneaking back and forth across the border is easier than getting through the Wal-Mart check-out.

4...Those special schools for 3rd,4th or5th generation ethnics are cute, but you can be sure the 2nd generation spoke VERY fluent English. This doesn't happen in most ILLEGAL Spanish-speaking communities because the Anti-American sentiment is palpable and expressed by refusing to encourage learning the language of the Gringo.

I am born in Puerto Rico...Spanish is my 1st language, Mandarin Chinese my second, English my 3rd followed by Italian, French, Italian and Arabic. NONE Of this would have happened if English or Spanish had been the ONLY means to my personal and professional goals.
mira chancleta
No ball-balancing, clapping, belching seals!
11:20 AM on 01/20/2012
...you might find that elusive acceptance a little easier to obtain, if you stopped generalizing about all of us as if we came out of the same racial, cultural, ethnic and polical cookie cutter...we never did!
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Monique Frausto
12:30 PM on 01/20/2012
Thank you for the comment. :)