03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Tucking Your Pants Into Your Boots: Who Can Pull That Off?!

This winter, once more, we can proudly tuck our pants into our boots -- ankle-high, knee-high, thigh-high, or all of the above. Thus have commanded us the fall-winter fashion shows and thus have confirmed the girls in the street whom we spied upon (we're not talking about stalking here, let it be clear: we are talking about getting trend inspirations from women who miraculously had a trend insight that we somehow missed, most probably, because we were in bed, crying over the money we've invested last week in a real estate venture in Dubai).

So, yes, the tucked-in pants are back, and this, for the fifth year in a row... Not that I'm complaining, I find the tucking vogue quite nice. The only problem with it is its infuriating tendency to make long, twig-like women look ever taller and twiggier, and mere mortals look like farm gnomes (when I say mere mortals, I mean women who are under six feet and weight more than 90 pounds). So there you have it -- once more, fashion's taking from the poor and giving to the rich. And since I stopped smoking six times last year and had to drop the sports too, I'll let you guess to which category I belong.

But I will not despair, no! I will not give up the fight! I do like this trend, truth be told, and I will not deprive myself of the joys of looking like someone in the know (oh, vanity, I love you almost as much as I love myself). So I put my best grey cells to work, trying to solve this conundrum, and once more, I found the solution in: Heels. You'd be surprised how many problems heels can solve (as Single White Female taught us, it can even help us get rid of superfluous humans). The only way to pull off the pant tucking, when you're not an underfed WNBA player, is by making sure your boots are properly heeled, and when I say properly, I mean more than three inches. I realize that it's bad for your back, bad for your knees and bad for women's emancipation. But, let's face it, I don't mind ironing all day long and wearing an apron with a floral print, as long as my tuches doesn't look like a three foot-wide watermelon that's sitting right over my knees. So yes, I can do it, I can tuck away my pants (those that still agree to go all the way up to my waist), as long as my two faithful friends, H & H, are there to support me.

While I was studying this subject, I came upon a mesmerizing fact: it's much more interesting to tuck when you wear saruels/harems or tapered pants. With a pair of knee-high or better yet, thigh-high boots, perched on those vertiginous heels, you instantly get that Russian princess look. That young, bold and blue-blooded damsel, who's about to mount her noble steed and gallop through the snow-white steppes, searching for her destiny.