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Morra Aarons-Mele

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Million-Dollar Mommy Blogging: Reinforcing the Feminine Mystique?

Posted: 03/ 1/2011 7:35 am

So far, 2011 hasn't been a good year to be a woman in America. Your health is under attack from Congress, your wages are in jeopardy and you're still not at the power table.

Unless, apparently, you're a mommy blogger. This week's New York Times Magazine featured yet another profile of Dooce, the super mommy blogger who makes over a million dollars a year detailing her ordeals with baby/dog poop "and countless other banalities of one mother's eclectic life that, for some reason, hundreds of thousands of strangers tune in, regularly, to read."

Dooce is a gifted writer and a true original. She is inspiring to many women (myself included) because she figured out how to use her gifts to provide for her family and work from home. She's also inspired an industry that does much to preserve traditional gender roles in that most cutting edge of settings, social media. I call it the gendered web. Honest, creative writing about home and family is a gift to us all, as it has been since Jane Austen's day. And it's made the difference for millions of women's lives through ad subsidies and sometimes even fame.

But taken as a whole, the current state of mom blogging plays into the most traditional gender roles. It's now a potentially lucrative way for women to earn money and wield power -- from home. There are thousands of websites and conferences devoted to helping mothers earn money by blogging about domestic life. What an amazing thing in a work world that offers working mothers little flexibility and time. As mom blogging grows as an industry fueled by ad dollars, I actually think it's taking us back to the days when a woman's worth was measured by the cleanliness of her kitchen floor. I've tried my hand at product blogging. It didn't work too well, I but I keep waiting for that free Wii, new camera, or trip somewhere great, like my friends who are bigtime mom bloggers get all the time. Some women I've met on the mom blogging beat are blatant about breaking into the medium to make money.

I don't fault us. It's so hard to be a middle class working mother in this country that writing about consumer packaged goods in your yoga pants beats a day in the office, hands down.

Years ago, Betty Friedan cited a "feminine mystique" that advertisers worked hard to perpetuate. The rest of her book may be dated, but read Friedan's chapters on advertising and women and it feels 100 percent current. Women's primary power is as consumers, and as long as we keep buying, and encouraging our friends to buy, we're considered powerful. Our modern feminine mystique is a little more expansive but no less commercially driven; now, women are expected to work, workout, look sexy and maintain a lovely home. The power consumer is the engine that drives moms online, because online revenue is advertising-driven, and advertisers want to reach the "Chief Household Officer": mom. Every time I read a piece on million-dollar mommy bloggers, I think of this.

Indeed, Maria Bailey, who claims she literally "wrote the book on marketing to moms," offered a tele-seminar recently to wannabe mom bloggers. And she encouraged moms to host blogs and market to their friends online because wouldn't it be a shame to connect with a fellow mom online and lose the opportunity to sell her something? Is that the best we can do with our collective voices?

At a recent TED talk, Dr. Johanna Blakely predicted that the social media revolution means "the end" of gender stereotypes online. She says this is because advertisers, who for years have used gender-, age- and income-based demographics to cluster and place their ads, will shift to targeting users by interest. So, Blakley says, tribes of enthusiasts who like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" will be more appealing to advertisers than the highly coveted demographic of women 25 to 45. If this happened, I believe we'd see the dissolution of the gendered web. Until that happens, I'm not so sure.

The Internet is breaking down along more traditionally gendered lines than ever. It could be that women cluster together online because it's safer -- Facebook users are about 60 percent female and it could just be to avoid insane Foursquare apps like "Where the ladies at?" in favor of more trusted friends and networks. At least when women write about issues close to home online, they run less of a risk of being stalked or humiliated, something all too many friends of mine who've spoken out publicly are subject to.

Many women I know want to give up their day jobs and become successful social media entrepreneurs -- and why not? It's a wonderful way to match flexible work with a creative and dynamic field. And while plenty of women bloggers write with intelligence and wit about everything from the economic crisis to foreign policy, they get rewarded (with advertiser money or media coverage) when they do stick closer to home. I don't see that changing as social media becomes more ubiquitous; I see it being reinforced. But the truth is, most women who dream of becoming financially successful women bloggers will do so only if they stick to covering the most traditional of female subjects: mothering and home. Other subjects just don't pay.

 

Follow Morra Aarons-Mele on Twitter: www.twitter.com/morraam

So far, 2011 hasn't been a good year to be a woman in America. Your health is under attack from Congress, your wages are in jeopardy and you're still not at the power table. Unless, apparently, you'...
So far, 2011 hasn't been a good year to be a woman in America. Your health is under attack from Congress, your wages are in jeopardy and you're still not at the power table. Unless, apparently, you'...
 
 
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12:45 PM on 04/29/2011
In response to your view on mommy blogs as keeping the traditional gender roles alive, I agree. And disagree. Many blogs illustrate life as a domestic diva, with a modern twist. Still, as a mommy blogger myself and as a blog reader venturing out into the vast sea of mom blogs, I see that many blogs are written BY moms and FOR moms. There is a lot of diversity out there, and I can only see that trend continuing, as women branch out and cover all different sorts of topics and for different purposes. It will be interesting to see the effect of mom blogs on future generations - kids who grew up the subject of these journals, family income and trends. In my opinion, the blogs that document daily life are a great read - they make me feel connected, they inform, they entertain and they create a sense of community. Long live the mommy blog! http://mombeams.com
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Morra Aarons-Mele
05:29 PM on 03/03/2011
Thank you everyone for your comments. I've been blogging since the dark ages of the medium and I definitely agree that a) it's tough to earn a living blogging and b) writing about parenthood is powerful. My point is simply that the kind of consumer-focused, female-targeted writing that gets big sponsorship dollars is not too different than the women's media of Friedan's time. Perhaps that's just how things are. But if women don't start using all of our purchasing power to affect social change, it will be a shame indeed (see BigGreenPurse.com for more on this). Morra
10:49 AM on 03/03/2011
"But the truth is, most women who dream of becoming financially successful women bloggers will do so only if they stick to covering the most traditional of female subjects: mothering and home. Other subjects just don't pay."
This may be true to an extent... but blogging opens up an entirely new world of opportunity for women who used to have two choices: work outside of the home or stay at home and be a homemaker.

One of my childhood dreams has always been to author a cookbook… so I thought I could combine my art education with my love for cooking and make it work.

I decided right then that I would quit my dayjob, become a “homemaker” while my husband worked… and in that time at home, I would begin my book.

But first, I began my blog.

That was under two years ago, and I have gained enough readership and interest in my work to capture the attention of an amazing literary agency. They are now working hard to peddle my first cookbook to publishing companies that I have always dreamed of working with. No Tide reviews or diaper duty groveling involved…

I see blogs as yielding an incredible power for stay at home moms in any capacity they can imagine. If you’re a stay at home mom who has a dream of writing--about anything--start a blog and go make some waves.

http://www.manifestvegan.com
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Morra Aarons-Mele
05:29 PM on 03/03/2011
This is fantastic! I'm psyched for you.
06:32 PM on 03/03/2011
...thank you so much!!
I'm pretty ecstatic about the whole thing myself and really appreciate your kind enthusiasm!
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ADP4
01:48 PM on 03/08/2011
That's really terrific (and heartening) news!
10:12 AM on 03/03/2011
There are some hard line truths though that need to be recognized. First, you have to have a tech savvy network of friends to get your blog rolling. Second, you need to be a motivational writer. Finally, you have to have a lot of spare time that you can write during. That is why I find most mommy-bloggers are 25+ moms with husbands whose income already more than supports the family. These stay at home moms therefore have ample time to get their site off the ground without distraction.
10:50 AM on 03/03/2011
excellent point!
09:57 AM on 03/03/2011
I have been a mom blogger now for 5 years and have found the evolution fascinating. The divide used to be between the so-called real writers using their blogs as a jumping off point for more lucrative writing, and those simply sharing photos and stories. When big marketers like Walmart entered the game with "sponsorships" of bloggers, a new generation of people entered the game with visions of a blog platform as a conduit for brand relationships and monetization--a digital Tupperware party.

I am okay with the idea that women can make a few bucks reviewing random products (though I still doubt there's much value in it for their readers, or even the advertisers). I do find it challenging that mom bloggers and product bloggers continue to be mentioned in one breath. The only that they have in common is offspring.

Great writing that connects with readers, moves them, touches them, infuriates them, makes them laugh, compels them to love you or hate you--is hard. Dooce only makes it look easy. The fact she has leveraged marketing interest to be able to do her thang, is admirable to me. Who's using who?

Fantastic, thoughtful piece Morra. Honored to be included in it.
11:58 PM on 03/03/2011
"I do find it challengin­g that mom bloggers and product bloggers continue to be mentioned in one breath. The only that they have in common is offspring."

I totally agree and have written about this: bloggers and product bloggers are bunched together and as a personal blogger who only does very infrequent reviews I wish that wasn't the case. We are two different groups of bloggers. I'm a writer who blogs out of passion but also to have my blog as my calling card. I have ambitions for writing and social media opportunities that will allow me to stay home with my son. And after two years of blogging until 3 in the morning, it looks like that is finally going to happen.

Dagmar
Dagmar's momsense
11:57 PM on 03/02/2011
Morra - I suppose it depends on what you mean by making blogging pay. I do think you make a lot of good points and If you're talking solely ad dollars, you're definitely right. But there are other ways that blogging can become profitable.

I did the vast majority of my "mom" blogging while I was practicing law full time. But because of my blogging on non-mom issues like politics and advocacy, I was able to start my own consulting business and I'm the Communications Director for a nonprofit. I now blog quite a bit more professionally than I do personally, but I love what I do and I make a pretty good living. Through blogging I've managed to avoid the female stereotypes and have never written about the merits of OxiClean. I'm sure you know other women who've managed the same thing.
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Tom Matlack
Man, Husband, Dad, Writer, Venture Capitalist
05:32 PM on 03/02/2011
Morra:

Thanks for this insightful piece. As the founder of www.goodmenproject.com I have followed with interest all the people and articles you site, as well as the stats. It is truly strange that while I agree with our comment that it hasn't been a good year to be a woman, it hasn't been a great year to be a man either. The Atlantic's "END OF MEN" it turns out was just the beginning. The WSJ last week proclaimed that there are no more good men (to see my thoughts on THAT topic go here: http://bit.ly/WSJonMen).

Here's the thing: male and female roles in America are changing. Men are looking to be better husbands and fathers. We are trying to think more closely about what really matters in life, not just the career. And yes, notably men are failing miserably.

But what I don't get is the way popular media, and sociologists who are leading the charge, seem to want to start the gender wars part two. Wasn't that what feminism was all about? Why don't we start talking more about what our aspirations are as men and women, as moms and dads, as husbands and wives, as men and women who lead our country? Why do we have to degenerate into pointing fingers at each other as if making fun of the opposite gender will get us anywhere?
05:02 PM on 03/02/2011
I'm mom and a blogger but don't like to be called a mom blogger. I'm someone who is a big advocate for natural birth and breastfeeding, and I try to empower and cheer women on to pursue their dreams and passions, be that finding a way to work from home or learning how to breastfeed. I blog about my life and try to help moms and entertain them with my antics.

Making money with a blog isn't easy, at least not for me. For me to do a paid review or sponsored post it has to fit the theme of my blog, look good, and be worth my time. That is rare. I'm just getting to the point where people want to advertise on my blog -- after two years of working way past midnight.

I'm very successful with reaching people through Twitter (I have almost 12,000 followers) but again, that takes an enormous amount of time to tweet that much. I wouldn't suggest to anyone to "give up their day jobs" to become a social media maven or blogging guru, try out doing that on the side and see if you can make money with it if that is your goal.

Money will only come to you if you do what you do professionally, with ethics and a lot of knowledge about your craft, be that writing, social media, blogging, or any other business.

http://dagmarbleasdale.com/2010/11/new-york-times-about-monetizing-motherhood-and-blogging/

Dagmar
Dagmar's momsense
02:09 PM on 03/02/2011
A. Not all "mommy bloggers" are working from home. In fact, MANY are not. I held down a 40 hr a week job, went to school full time working on a pre-law degree, ran a part-time job from home, AND built my blog into a small, part-time income in the process.

And no, it's not from reviewing "teethers." I accept display advertising on my page by way of monthly sponsorships from extremely carefully selected brands that are A.) 100% socially responsible and B.) women-owned.

I blog about the oft-painful intersection of feminism and motherhood, and every way that our rights are being quietly stripped from us on Capitol Hill. With my 90K page views a month, I'm educating people, raising awareness, and doing it all with 100% full disclosure that makes my life look anything but gleaming.

Dooce is one kind of blogger. There are a million more. Some of us make a little cash from it, but almost all others do not. We do it because we have something to say that's important to us, and this form of media is incredibly powerful.
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ADP4
01:56 PM on 03/08/2011
What's the name of your blog? :) I'd be interested in reading it and also in seeing ads from businesses that are women-owned and socially responsible.
06:51 PM on 03/13/2011
Http:www.thefeminisbreeder.com

The Feminist Breeder
10:23 PM on 03/01/2011
I disagree with the idea that "mommy bloggers" reinforce the feminine mystique or that they promote an idealized version of women. Many mothers who blog about their parenting experience write honestly about everything they're experiencing as parents, including stress, depression, doubts, work-life balance, etc. in addition to their positive experiences. They are great examples of modern women - women who choose the lifestyle that they want. There's nothing anti-feminist about being a mother, or being a mother who blogs.
10:16 AM on 03/02/2011
I totally agree. There are many blogs out there like www.goodenoughmother.com that are not
necessarily mom centric but deal with the woman as a whole along with hot button issues like "The Angry Black Woman Stereotype" (http://www.goodenoughmother.com/2011/02/the-angry-black-woman-stereotype-battling-the-backlash/ )or asking women what they want to accomplish for themselves as women, not as mothers (http://www.goodenoughmother.com/2011/02/happy-birthday-to-me/). Just because we have kids doesn't mean our hopes and dreams have to die so theirs may live.
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FlexHourJobs
Work-life Balance for Women and Baby Boomers
08:19 PM on 03/01/2011
Terrific article! Light-hearted and funny yet so true! Thanks for the smiles I had while enjoying it. Reminds me of a Blogger convention I attended a few months ago, where the speaker (a mom blogger) felt that the most important thing women talk about today is evalauting Tide vs. All and Viking vs Jennair. Are you kidding me? I think we have a heck of lot more important things on our minds than that today.Like: 25% of the neighborhood has moved out of their homes and left, like retirement accounts that have dwindled and like how we are going to send our kids to college and continue to work into our 90's? Like our retirement dream? To actually be able to retire some day!
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07:28 PM on 03/01/2011
so no comments that disagree with or challenge the topic?
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badmama3
06:54 PM on 03/01/2011
I blog, and I am a mommy, although I hadn't considered myself a "mommy-blogger". I blog about coping with arthritis at a (relatively) young age, a topic I don't think is well represented on the internet.
I started my blog as an creative outlet for myself, something I could do that didn't involve cleaning up after or taking care of other people. It's almost embarrassing to admit the thrill I got when I realized people were actually reading my blog. And, oh goodness, when I received my first comment, it kept me buzzing for days!
I'm guessing this Dooce, making over a million dollars a year, is the exception, rather than the rule, as far as income potential from blogging is concerned. For me being recognized for something other than my exceptional laundry skills is all the reward I need.
http://www.down-dog-amy.blogspot.com
06:13 PM on 03/01/2011
Many of us write from a feminist perspective, for free, with no advertising. I do it because I'm not 'mainstream' and because I recognize that not all of us want to review teethers. We are not child-centric although we have children. Kids are a part of our lives, not our entire lives.

If I choose to accept advertising at some point in the future (after re-building readership, since I did take a break to focus on real-life and purchase a web site). Catering to the fears of other mothers still seems to pay, and that's sad. It doesn't minimize Dooce's abilities, but it does put her actions under a microscope (which she chose.)
05:24 PM on 03/01/2011
And why the hell shouldn't anyone write about parenting? I'm not a parent, I don't want to be one, and I don't particularly want to read about it as a chosen topic. But I like good writing, regardless of the subject matter. I think the real reason folks react so poorly to the mommy bloggers is ENTIRELY due to their own mommy issues.