02/22/2011 05:39 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Alejandra Jackson Goes Full 'Momtie'

Somebody, somewhere, somehow needs to construct the Groupie Hall of Fame. It should immortalize the "contributions" of those who've managed to disregard every moral and ethical standard in the pursuit of selfish gain. That same somebody who constructs it needs to make sure it has the associated enshrinement ceremonies, complete with speeches and remembrances of their "careers."

Most importantly, somebody needs to make sure Alejandra Jackson is elected on the first ballot and a bronze bust (no pun intended) lives forevermore to acknowledge her life and legacy. She is the greatest groupie of all time.

Yes... of ALL time.

Her exploits surpass Pamela Des Barres, author of I'm with the Band: Confessions of a Groupie. She is more disreputable than Karrine Steffans and any of her supposed Confessions of a Video Vixen. Alejandra Jackson races to the bottom of this infamous list simply because her "tell-all" is already on full display, indisputable and unmatched. She doesn't need to tell it all... it's already a matter of public record.

If the name doesn't ring a bell, Alejandra is the ex-wife of Jermaine and the ex-girlfriend of Jermaine's brother Randy.

In that order.

She birthed two children and adopted a third with Jermaine and THEN birthed two children with Randy.

In that order... we think. Mo'Kelly has no DNA evidence to verify paternity of the aforementioned children, so the question of "overlap" is a reasonable one.

Wait, let's back up.

During her "divorce" to Jermaine it was determined she was still legally married to one Nicolas Ray. According to multiple sources, the Ray marriage was to allow Alejandra to acquire legal, permanent residence in the U.S. So technically, Alejandra was never officially married to Jermaine... yet to this day still carries his last name. You are worthy of induction into the Groupie Hall of Fame when two different Jackson brothers are your "Baby Daddy," and you still manage to carry the famous family name in the process.

If this were baseball, she'd be on her way to Cooperstown.

Football? One-way ticket to Canton.

Film? Oscar Lifetime Achievement Award.

Alejandra is a once-in-a-generation "talent."

Mo'Kelly does have some questions. Not sure of the answers, but definitely has a few questions that need to be asked...

The boys Alejandra birthed between Jermaine and Randy... are they brothers, cousins, brosins or couthers? Just asking.

How does a man and his "baby-mama" manage to adopt a child? Doesn't the adoption agency walk into the Jackson family estate and immediately realize that "something's not quite right" in both the home environment and the parental paperwork?

What do you call a woman who is both your mom and your auntie... "Momtie?" The flipside... what do you call the man who is both your dad and uncle? Duncle? It's just all so confusing.

How do you bring the same woman "home to mom"... twice? How does it feel to be introduced as "the new girlfriend" to mom TWICE... yet by different sons on different occasions? How does THAT go over?

" my new girlfriend Alejandra...we're in love!"

"But Randy...that's Alejandra, your brother's ex-wife, kinda sorta."

(child enters room)

"Uncle Randy... why are you kissing my Mommy like that?"

(Randy ignores nephew and address Katherine)

"But Mom... I LOVE her and she's pregnant with my child... your grandchild."

"Hi Katherine, I'm Alejandra... nice to meet you... again... kinda sorta. I'm BAAAACK!"

That has Ben Stiller/Fockers movie material written all over it; complete with obligatory uncomfortable dinner scene.

But wait, there's more...

Alejandra alleges that "ex-husband" Jermaine owes more than $100,000 in back child support. She (of course) was turned down for "spousal" support as she was never a spouse. This comes on the heels of the Michael Jackson estate asking a judge in January to remove Alejandra and her five kids from the family home. A hearing on whether Alejandra and clan must leave is set for March 15. Can't wait to read THAT court transcript.

For all three of you out there ready to rain down tears of sympathy for Alejandra and her children, hold that thought. Matriarch Katherine reportedly also offered a condo for the "family," provided Alejandra signed a confidentiality agreement.

She, of course, refused.

See, the confidentiality agreement would get in the way of her ability to efforts of late to parlay her branch of the Jackson family tree into a reality TV deal... and a tell-all book of course. She's presently negotiating the deals for both.

Yes, why move into a lowly condo when you can live high on the hog at the Jackson estate and secure a reality TV deal? If Alejandra has been anything, she's been consistent.

If we look at Alejandra's Hall of Fame career stats, here are the highlights.

* Married a random man only to obtain legal status in the United States
* Attempted to marry Jermaine Jackson while still married to random man (birthed two children, adopted third)
* "Divorced" Jermaine, then "dated" brother Randy (birthed two more children)
* Declined free house to instead further embarrass her children and Jackson family "sponsors" with reality TV show

Anyone presumably can sleep with a celebrity or multiple celebrities. That's no great accomplishment. Anyone can take those same experiences and turn them into a "tell-all" book. That's been done time and time again. But nobody in the history of groupies has pushed out four children, adopted a fifth by way of two different brothers of the most famous family in entertainment history.

Nobody. Never in the history of nonexistent self-worth.

Not only did she produce four children while marrying NEITHER brother, she managed to hijack the Jackson family name and permanent free residence at the family estate. And just in case Katherine or anyone else had the crazy idea to call her ungrateful, she's now going to flip her "misfortune" into a TV deal.

This is unprecedented in the history of depravity and women devoid of self-respect. She makes Octomom look like a soccer mom in comparison. Somebody, somewhere, somehow needs to put the Groupie Hall of Fame together, and Mo'Kelly wants the whole nine when it's completed: the bronze bust, the induction speech and the accompanying highlight reel. Alejandra "Jackson" has earned her spot as its most "celebrated" member. Nobody else even comes close.

Morris W. O'Kelly (Mo'Kelly) is author of the syndicated entertainment and socio-political column The Mo'Kelly Report. For more Mo'Kelly, go to his site. Mo'Kelly can be reached at and he welcomes all commentary.