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Americans Elect's Failure Is Our Victory

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We told you so.

The failure of Americans Elect, the online nominating process designed to bypass the two major political parties and field an independent candidate for president, proves what Murray Hill Inc. Campaign Manager William S. Klein and Designated Human Eric Hensal said in the opening line of their October 2010 op-ed in Politico.

"People," they wrote. "They can really get in the way of democracy."

After spending upwards of $20 million and getting on the ballot in 27 states, Americans Elect announced that none of the candidates who were competing in the online primary had crossed the threshold set by the group's rules and that their primary process had come to an end.

Besides crushing the dreams of the 6047 supporters of the leading declared candidate, former Louisiana Governor Buddy Roemer, the news affirms the futility of seeking to change our system of electoral democracy with more of the same, homo sapien-based politics.

That's why within a few days of the Supreme Court's enlightened ruling in the Citizens United case, Murray Hill Inc. took the historic step of being the first corporation to run for Congress. If, as the Supreme Court said, corporations are people too, then why not eliminate the troublesome bodied human middleman in politics and run for office ourselves?

Isn't it clear by now that flesh and blood humans have made a complete mess of things? We trust corporations with what we eat, watch, drive, and do online--so why not complete the circle and give corporations our vote?

A founding principle of Americans Elect was that "any constitutionally-eligible citizen can be a candidate." Well, tell that to John Roberts! A process in which not a single corporation was allowed to compete flouts his vision of equal rights under the Constitution for corporate persons.

We think the Americans Elect effort fizzled because most Americans agree with the Murray Hill Inc. pledge to put people second, or even third.

And yet, the forces of anti-corporate bigotry block patriotic corporate interests from leading us to a new, zero-sum ideal of American politics.

Want a health care system that works? Elect Senator Carefirst and Congressman Glaxo.
Tired of gridlock on Capitol Hill? Replace the Democrat and Republican caucus with the Fortune 500. And here's a nifty solution to our budget crisis--sell corporations naming rights to the U.S. Capitol, White House, and yes, the Supreme Court.

Or get over our xenophobic prejudice and sell the whole kit and caboodle to China.

It's not too late for Americans Elect to be the game changer they envisioned. Murray Hill Inc. is prepared to accept a draft and take our message of enlightened self-interest and corporate accounting to the voters.

After all, it's not like we'd be the only non-human in the race, now that Mitt Romney has secured the GOP nomination.

In a statement, Americans Elect announced that they're not prepared to throw in the towel just yet. Despite the fact, they said, that under their rules the online primary is canceled, "there is, however, an almost universal desire among delegates, leadership and millions of Americans who have supported AE to see a credible candidate emerge from this process."

Americans Elect CEO (see? They're halfway to the corporate model already!) initially said his group would confer with its community before determining next steps. But as Jason Linkins observed in the Huffington Post, ultimately they "released a statement that essentially admits defeat without actually admitting defeat."

Thankfully, there is a better way. It's not too late to try something new--it's just that the Party's over for bodied humans! Come back from the dead, Americans Elect. Nominate Murray Hill Inc. for President.