Last night, I slept with my husband and my best friend. The bed was a bit crowded -- it always is, but I don't feel guilty about it and my husband Dan doesn't mind, either. For years, I've slept with two males -- my husband and my best friend -- and it has worked out just fine.
The division of the bed is simple. My husband gets his entire half. I have the other half, but I share it with my best friend. Theoretically, I should get one quarter of the bed (half of a half), but it doesn't always work out that way.
I am up quite early in the morning, and so I peter out early in the evening. I love to get in bed and read. When I crawl into bed, Kellie, my best friend, always joins me. Dan is a night owl and he doesn't come to bed till much later. Kellie has his own bed, but he much prefers mine. He positions himself in one of several ways -- if I am sitting up and reading, he lies down horizontally mid-bed and stretches out, occupying Dan's entire side. When Dan comes to bed, he shoves Kellie all the way over to my side. That leaves me with a sliver of the bed. I equate it to Chile's position in South America, hugging the coast. If I am lying down and reading on my side and my knees are bent, Kellie is able to fit on the lower half of my half of the bed. Sometimes, he sleeps on his stomach and sometimes he sleeps on his back. At those times, he resembles a rabbit crossed with an ewok who has bedhead.
I am well-trained after years of doing this (with various males) and can sleep in a variety of positions. Sometimes, I curl up so my buddy can fit snuggly in the arc of my legs. Other times I adjust my legs like a compass and present an acute angle and my friend settles in between them.
Space is not the only issue when we all share the bed; there is the matter of noise. Dan snores and must be nudged and reminded to close his mouth. That helps. My friend dreams a lot and makes strange noises and I need to comfort him with caresses. That also works.
Now I will admit that I am not the perfect mate to sleep with. I am a post-menopausal, middle-aged woman and I use the bathroom at least three times a night, regardless of how much I drink in the evening. It is a true art to be able to leave the bed without disturbing the other occupants and after many years of practice, I am very skilled at it. I am faced with an even more delicate situation when I return and try to claim the space I left. Kellie usually seizes the opportunity and stealthily moves to occupy the newly empty space, leaving me nowhere to sleep. I am forced to gently shove him aside to gain some space.
I may have to share my nights, but mornings are all my own. Dan does not stir when I get out of bed, and I swear that I can hear Kellie murmur, "Why is she up at this ungodly hour?" He opens one eye and doesn't object too much because he knows that he can claim my spot.
Dan and I have been married almost 39 years and for all those years he has generously shared his bed with me and my best friend. The only request he has made has been for a King bed. Someday. For now, I am sleeping quite happily with both Dan and Kellie on a Queen.