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Naomi Menezes

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Everyone, Stop Body-Bashing

Posted: 04/18/2012 9:27 am

Society's standards are stupid. Let's stop criticizing ourselves and others and learn to accept our healthy selves.

Society has set a lot of standards for women, here's a little quote from Tiny Fey's book, Bossypants...

Every girl is expected to have:

- Caucasian blue eyes
- Full Spanish lips
- A classic button nose
- Hairless Asian skin with a California tan
- A Jamaican dance hall butt
- Long Swedish legs
- Small Japanese feet
- The abs of a lesbian gym owner
- The hips of a nine-year-old boy
- The arms of Michelle Obama
- And doll [breasts]

Everyone seems to have something wrong with their body like the below scene from Mean Girls suggests. As satirical as the movie is, it's right. There are too many unrealistic expectations for teenage girls, and this only fosters an environment for something called "body-bashing."

Overweight? Stop going to the drive-thru.

Are you skinny? You must bulimic, anorexic or both.

You got bad skin? Ever heard of Proactiv?

No curves? No guy will like you now.

The sad thing is, comments like this are prevalent on social media. You can't be curvy, slim, overweight or normal-sized without receiving criticism from someone on the Internet. No body type is superior to another, as much as the media is trying to say otherwise.

I think it is ridiculous that Crystal Renn is receiving criticism for her weight dropping. For someone who has been every size on the clothing scale (double zero to plus sized), her "normal" weight of size 6-8 has been causing a stir. She is no longer plus size or runway model sized: she is her healthy size, which is in between the two extremes. Her healthy size is a byproduct of her working out, what's wrong with that?

Size doesn't matter, as long as you are healthy. If you are a size two it doesn't mean you are starving yourself, and if you are overweight it doesn't mean you are entitled to body-bashing.

Media, society even our friends and family make it hard to accept ourselves. In an effort to be more body positive (to yourself and everyone else!) I'm asking you to do three things:

1. Stop body-bashing: Criticizing others just makes it harder to accept yourself, plus it feels better to compliment than to criticize. Stop others from body-bashing, too.

2. Find your ideal: I'm not asking you to hit the gym and get ripped, but go for a walk, cook something at home and strive for being healthy -- but not for being any particular body type.

3. Accept yourself: Yes, it's cliché, but "be yourself"! You might not fit any one of the body molds the media presents, but who cares? As long as you are healthy and confident it's all that matters!

I'm slowly learning to accept myself ("What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction helps!). I mean, I have cellulite already, but I have some seriously long legs that I love. I don't think I'll ever have "doll [breasts]" or "small Japanese feet," but so what? I'm happy and healthy, and that is all that matters.

 
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08:43 PM on 04/19/2012
I loved this piece, but can I add one more?

4. Don't let friends bash their own bodies. If a friend starts calling herself fat or says she has no butt, you always say, "Ouch, that was mean," and gently remind her how good she looks. That she rocks in that polka-dot top or how she runs faster than you did in high school (when you ran track) or even how she managed to pull of that crazy orange dress with killer boots.
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12:12 PM on 04/19/2012
well said!
Randybostonterrier
Calling Republicans down on their BS
07:29 AM on 04/19/2012
5'9" and a size 6/8 is extremely thin and unhealthy, she should be a 10/12. People have to realize just because you lose weight does it make it "healthy." Being underweight is just as bad as being overweight.
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12:41 PM on 04/19/2012
When was the last time you went to a mall, and looked at the sizes on the rack? If you ever have, you would realize that size is all relative. A size 0 at J.Crew might be the same fit as a size 6 from another store. Therefore, size is irrelevant.
What matters is the person is healthy. In high school, at 5'5" I weighed a mere 108lbs. I was criticized every day for being so "skinny". In reality, I ate more than anyone there!
Now I weigh 139lbs, am covered in cellulite, and my BMI is very close to the overweight category.
Why?
Some people are born with a smaller frame, like myself. In order to truly know if you are unhealthy, go see a doctor.
Randybostonterrier
Calling Republicans down on their BS
06:02 AM on 04/20/2012
I was a size 6/8 through 39 yrs of age. I was really super skinny and am only 5'5", I can only imagine who anorexic looking someone is when they wear my same size and are 4" taller than me. There is such a thing as too thin. What you underweight tendency was is something that you couldn't control when you were a teen. Most people were too skinny then. This chick has been heavier and could have stopped at a healthy weight of say of a 10/12 and still had gotten plenty of work. I haven't shopped for J. Crew clothes in years, I shop Ann Taylor and Liz C. for more classy fashions for my age.
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Highball
In Blackest Night
11:10 PM on 04/18/2012
You are absolutely right.

And it just drives me nuts when I read the Style section, and there are always so many "nice anorexia" comments. Not everyone who is thin is anorexic.

Thanks for the comment.
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jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
03:34 PM on 04/18/2012
Good points. In addition to being yourself for yourself, you can be yourself for people who like you the way you are. Listen to them, instead of the body-bashers.
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fredjonesiii
03:04 PM on 04/18/2012
Great editorial, thank you.
10:51 AM on 04/18/2012
Good attitude, keep spreading the message. Back in the 70s they use to call men who objectified women "Male chauvinist Pigs". Today, these men seemed to have been eclipsed by "FEMALE CHAUVINISTS PIGS" those raunchy acting women in the media and in our hometowns that act in a way to harm more women then they could imagine. Both genders are culpable here.
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10:44 AM on 04/18/2012
Hooray for you for writing this!

And let's extend it to the rest of Huffington Post: no more mean stories about women's "wardrobe malfunctions" or "fails."