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I'm Headed For Divorce -- Even Though I'm Not Even Married Yet

Posted: 12/15/11 03:15 AM ET

I recently discovered that my chances of getting divorced are over 400 percent. While a sane person might be a little apprehensive about tying the knot when confronted with this information, I've only continued to cultivate an insatiable desire to get married one day.

Here's how I arrived at that dooming number. According to research published by Cambridge University in 2005, having divorced parents gives me a 40 percent chance of getting divorced myself. My parents then remarried -- which statistically gives me a 91 chance of divorce -- and then my dad and my stepmom divorced each other, then remarried each other again.

By my calculations, that's 40 percent, plus 91 (times two, to account for both parents), plus another 40 and 91, plus 50 -- to account for the percent chance of failure that's become the tagline for modern American marriage -- and I arrive at this: a 443 percent change of divorce.

Okay, I admit that I never made it past high school pre-calculus, so my math could be a little, well, off. (As a writer, numbers make me feel all icky inside.) Still, stricken by the idea that I was a numerical bad seed, I turned to my boyfriend, Greg, who patiently explained to me that, according to the rules of "math," I couldn't just add percentages like that. (I assume he knows what he's talking about since he's a computer science engineer and he minored in mathematics in college.) He also assured me that statistics aren't indicators that something will happen to a specific person.

Even despite the unfavorable data, I should at least be a little apprehensive about, if not terrified of, marriage. My aforementioned divorced parents (a.k.a the people who've made me unmarriageable) didn't have the kind of split after which birthdays and holidays were jointly observed. Whether I switched off or celebrated twice, for most of my life I've chosen one place -- one parent -- over the other. My mom and dad each created their own, very separate lives, which I assume is pretty standard operating procedure when you're no longer married.

Yet, even after seeing the aftermath of my parents' failed marriage, getting hitched myself has always been -- and remains -- my foremost romantic goal. Every relationship I've been in -- even some non-relationships I've been in -- had me optimistic that this would be the guy I'd marry. In the sense that I'd use my zone-out moments, like while I blow-dried my hair, to ponder just how I'd phrase the "how we met and fell madly in love" story for the wedding toast. Yes, I'm that kind of girl.

But, while I'll habitually (and happily) tune in to "Say Yes To the Dress," the wedding part of getting married isn't actually what I look forward to. In fact, when I think about the logistics of the event a familiar discomfort creeps in -- the same one that washes over me any time both my sets of parents are forced to be in the same place at the same time because of their one common denominator, yours truly. There are looming questions that I just don't want to have to answer: Will both my dad and my stepdad walk me down the aisle? Will I have two father-daughter dances? Will everyone just wish I'd eloped instead -- including me?

What I do want is everything I've decided that marriage stands for: not just love and partnership, but security, even refuge. I'm hoping for someone to choose me instead of having to be the one who does the choosing. Marriage means no longer having to gravitate between my two parental poles, but establishing my own home base. And while I know that, rationally, having a happy and satisfying relationship should be enough in itself, my marriage-mindedness won't turn off.

Instead of cautioning me to fear marriage, my parents' divorce -- while a statistical setback -- has become an unlikely source of inspiration (or, in some moments, desperation). When I was researching a possible book a couple years ago, I interviewed a friend of mine whose parents had divorced shortly after mine and asked her if she'd ever considered never getting married. Her response, a resounding "no," echoed my own seemingly irrational feelings: "Especially coming from a divorced family, I want to have a family of my own to make memories with and enjoy," she said.

My friend has since married and she and her husband recently celebrated her first wedding anniversary. I hope her marriage filled the void that I imagine she and other divorced children feel (hopefully it's not just me -- awkward!). And, more than anything, I hope that my own marriage someday lives up to my expectations, absolving the failures of my parents and giving me the stability that I craved.

And, if not, I suppose that I should keep those statistics handy in case I need to explain how I ended up divorced.

Natasha Burton is the co-author of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted...But Chose to Ignore

 
 
 

Follow Natasha Burton on Twitter: www.twitter.com/NatashaNBurton

I recently discovered that my chances of getting divorced are over 400 percent. While a sane person might be a little apprehensive about tying the knot when confronted with this information, I've only...
I recently discovered that my chances of getting divorced are over 400 percent. While a sane person might be a little apprehensive about tying the knot when confronted with this information, I've only...
 
 
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08:25 PM on 12/20/2011
Gawd. She's already shot herself in the foot. *smh* She doesn't have a clue about men. This is what I call the 'Twilight Syndrome.'
I already know she's going to get divorced, because everything she says is about her own point of view, and her own dreams, never once mentioning what she thinks a man might be wanting or dreaming about, or being sure that she gives that to him.
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nix28
Embracing honesty and its ugly step-sister, truth.
12:13 AM on 12/19/2011
I stopped paying attention to the bulk of statistics quite a while ago. I've managed to get around every single one that supposedly should have applied to me. I figure, your life is what you make it. Be sure of what you're looking for in a relationship, and if you meet a man, be sure that he's looking for the same things. Be honest, be polite, be considerate, communicate, fight fair, check in with your man to be sure that you're on the same page, be open to growth and change, listen to one another, make time for one another, and remember what got you both together in the first place and put in the effort to keep that alive. Oh, and have your own interests so that you're not revolving your life around him and vice versa. It's just not healthy. I'm the child of divorced parents as well, and I've paid attention to the issues that drove my parents apart as well as the issues in my friends' relationships, and though I don't have all the answers, I have figured out a few things that can help make my future relationships (hopefully one of those will be my last, ending in marriage) successful. Best of luck!
11:22 PM on 12/18/2011
Here's the secret: take care of each other's emotional needs. And have sex regularly and frequently as is comfortable. The sex builds a level of intimacy not available in other ways. Then care for each other's emotional needs in the way that they like it. Those will change over time, so a good one to have is openness and honesty. Neither of you will be mind readers, so you have to be clear. Do that with conviction and enthusiasm and you're good. Oh, and PS - you need to take a course in Math and or Statistics.
01:28 PM on 12/18/2011
Why worry about ever divorcing? Just live together and avoid common law states. Separation after living together does not cost a penny. Been there. The emotional costs may exist whether your relationship was marriage or non-marriage. But the financial pain of divorce settlements can make the emotional wounds deeper. "The War of the Roses" was one of my favorite films and I am glad I watched it years before my lovely woman and I lived together.
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OceanSize
Don't Ask, Don't Tell is better suited to religion
12:48 PM on 12/18/2011
No, you can't just add percentages like that. If something goes up 50% and then goes up another 50%, it's not up 100%, it's up 75%. Likewise, if something goes down 50% and then goes up 50%, you're not break-even, you're still down 25%.
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11:17 AM on 12/18/2011
You can be in a loving, commited relationship without getting married. You should be scared of marriage- your probabilities for staying married aren't in favor of staying married forever. Marriage isn't a goal, it's a contract. You've been socialized to romanticize it. Have parties where you toast your love to one another, make a family, make memories you enjoy. There is no longer a need for marriage.
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rickpark1
11:32 PM on 12/17/2011
Well ya with that attitude..
10:34 PM on 12/17/2011
Actually, I look at the divorce statistics and see very good odds for non-divorce. One of the studies I saw recently showed a 89% marriage survival rate over 10 years for educated (college or higher) couples. I believe these were couples with kids. That isn't bad odds.

My first marriage lasted 21 years. I am at 15.5 years into my second.

Long term coupling (marriage or equivalent) tends to keep you alive longer. My mother saved my father in his 60's. He saved her life in her 70's. After she died, he remarried. His new wife just saved him (he is 86) and he has been keeping her out of the nursing facility.
11:14 PM on 12/17/2011
My marriage (first and only) has lasted 32 years and is still counting. Pretty amazing to me when I consider how many years my wife and I were separated due to my military (army) assignments.
07:08 PM on 12/17/2011
Poor Natasha. From what I can tell, the comments are pretty evenly divided between: "give up--you're already screwed and marriage is for the birds and horrible, anyway" and "It's all up to you. Be happy, don't worry." I hope she wasn't counting on our comments to help her figure this out.
09:34 PM on 12/16/2011
Or you could take a realistic look at your parents' mistakes, learn from them, and wait until you're mature and stable enough to make a good choice of partner. My parents were divorced but I'm not divorced...
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brensgrrl
11:31 AM on 12/17/2011
Wonderful answer, Mouse! My parents were also divorced, but here I am in my 26th year of marriage and going strong. I did look at their mistakes, and I vowed not to repeat them. In a nutshell here's the secret: (1) be polite to each other--don't let familiarity breed contempt. Be civil to each other, even when you disagree. And if you must disagree, have HONEST, NON-EMOTIONAL reasons for disagreement. (Corollary--never fight in front of the kids! (2) Communicate! One spouse should never do anything that the other does not know about. Failure to communicate destroys trust. (3) Live economically! Money or the lack thereof is a main cause of divorce. Don't spend money on expensive toys that you want unless everything (and I do mean everything!) is in order in the home. The home should be the first priority. Don't be selfish. Marriage is nothing to be afraid of, but in order for it to work, both parties MUST be mature and whole persons. Otherwise, failure. . .
12:42 PM on 12/17/2011
Fanned x1000! Especially the part about living within your means. That's crucial for success in life regardless of marital status, but especially when you're married. The consumer culture in this country has gone off the rails in the past few decades. It's like people are unable to separate wants from needs anymore, and feel entitled to every new gadget and item they can't afford. We all CAN give corporate America the finger, and only buy what need and can afford - and that will pay countless dividends both in your marriage and your life in general.
10:59 PM on 12/19/2011
I like your list..
1. be polite to each other
2. communicate
3. live within your means

I would add several more to it though..

4. give each other monogamy, ie. don't cheat
5. give each other a sex life, ie. don't force your spouse into being a spouse without benefits against their wishes
6. show each other a positive outlook on life, ie. don't be an Eeyore, or a 'glass is half empty' type, or a constant complainer. It wears you down to live with a constantly negative person.

4. and 5. are equal in importance despite that many selfish men think 4 is not important and selfish women think 5 is not important. The reason 4 and 5 are equal is because for men the importance of a sex life in marriage is the same as how women view the importance of monogamy in marriage. And similarly, for women the importance of a sex life in marriage is the same as how men view the importance of monogamy in marriage. If you are SELFISH and UNWILLING to give your spouse what they consider most important, then you don't deserve to get in return what you consider to
be most important. And it works both ways.

Finally, I'd add a 7th item to the list that pertains to how you behave BEFORE marriage.

7. Don't pretend to be someone you're not in the dating stage, only to become your real self after the "I do's" are over.
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dadw5boys
Disabled Vietnam Vet
09:32 PM on 12/16/2011
I tell my sons and daughter they have to live alone for at least 4 year and learn to take care of everything in their own life depending on one else for support. Once they have done this and see what it takes to handel the basics in life then they might be ready to consider a relationship. But until then they need to beware of people who want to move in on them fast because those people need someone to take care of them. They also need to learn to like themselves enough to be alone with themselves, also to value their time alone to regroup and recover.
This should prepare them for adulthood and relatonships. That is the best advose I can offer them besides listen to Precy Sledge and "take time to know her" .
07:05 PM on 12/16/2011
So what....with that whining I am surprised your bf is still with you.....or even entertaining the thought of marriage
12:16 AM on 12/17/2011
Whining? This is a whimsically written article...take it more seriously.
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RedRat
Ignorance is fixable, stupidty is forever
02:20 PM on 12/16/2011
With such an attitude at the onset, i.e., that divorce is inevitable, then more than likely you will find yourself divorced. Frankly, I must ask why in the world do you want to get married in the first place? Why? Why burden yourself or your prospective spouse with this mindset? With this kind of thinking I would certainly advise against having kids, for sure, since you are already committed to having a divorce. Why punish the kids?

Can marriages be successful? Of course they CAN be, but more than likely they will not be, our current divorce rate pretty much demonstrates that. But you could be an exception, who knows. Relationships are hard and they take a great deal of work, whether they are formalized by a piece of paper or just a simple live-in arrangement. If you have so many doubts, don't get married.
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
11:52 AM on 12/16/2011
All those stats really have little or nothing to do with your own personal destiny.

If you do want a simple stat, just consider that 50% of first marriages apparently end in divorce.

So you're dealing with a coin flip here.
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Rollercoasterider
10:42 AM on 12/16/2011
Natasha,
Many marriages that end in divorce didn’t fail. One or both spouses failed the marriage. They fail to nurture it and when they didn’t feel good in it or when their eye (and then other parts) wandered, they discarded what no longer felt good.
Marriage is a commitment. You can choose different vows, but most still say "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health... as long as we both shall live." You don't have to say them. But if that is what you want and what you mean, then you need to work on them and honor them.
Divorces happen to people who don't want them; 80% of divorces are unilateral. You can only do your part. And part of those typical vows is to uphold your part through your spouses doubts. It won't always pull the marriage through and avoid divorce, but it can.

If you get married do not go in merely expecting it to last forever--or to end. Go in with the mind-set that you are in this as long as you both shall live, not that you can undo it if you want.

A lot of divorces are simple caused by people thinking they can divorce; it's their way of solving the problem. But the marriage or spouse are not usually the problem. Sometimes the problem is internal and sometimes it's simply learning to be married--even after 30 years of already having been married to each other.
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RedRat
Ignorance is fixable, stupidty is forever
02:25 PM on 12/16/2011
I think it is unrealistic to think in terms of "death do us part". That worked fine in a bygone era when people were "old" when they turned 45 or 50years. Today, with lifetimes pushing 80 and beyond, the idea of being married to the same person for that extended life, is kind of unrealistic.

If you do marry and have kids (really the only reason for the formality of marriage) all you hope for at best is to see your kids off and out of the house by age 18 or when the turn adults. Everything beyond that is pure gravy. I guess work like heck to keep the family together for 18 to 20 years would be considered a great success today.
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Rollercoasterider
06:15 PM on 12/16/2011
It may be unrealistic for you, but there are plenty of couples celebrating 60+ years married--happily married. And not all had children together. But they still found a purpose in the formality of marriage. Those who are being left after 26+ years don't see everything beyond as pure gravy and they don't feel successful because they made it through the child-raising years. They feel abandoned and are in shock.

Marriage is not for everyone. Til death do us part is part isn't for everyone even if marriage is--so don't include it in the vows.
But it is for some and maybe even many.
08:20 PM on 12/16/2011
Just like patience, commitment,and waiting for the right person to come along, no matter how wise, "is not for everyone." Anyway, no one person can discribe romance and/or Marriage as being "realistic" , its a personal experience. Like someone discribing an Act of God to someone when said person was alone when it happened. Just because you fail at commitment doesn't make long-term marriage "unrealistic" because, wether you believe it or not, it happens. And more then the "statistics" show.