THE BLOG

You Have Negative Thoughts? Okay -- So What?

05/25/2015 11:24 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2016

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A friend of my Facebook page asked me this question:

I get these negative feelings of people ... I know I have to stop the negativity but it isn't easy. I know every thought you think has energy ... so what steps can I take to maintain a positive outlook especially about other people?

My answer:

Step 1. Stop thinking you have to stop your negativity. There is nothing you "have to" do. We spiritual people tend to feel bad about ourselves when we harbor negative judgment against others. Jesus doesn't judge. Buddha doesn't judge. Therefore, we think that if we judge others, we are not spiritually evolved. The truth is whenever you think this way, you're simply piling more judgment onto judgment. It's the mind chasing its own shadow. It doesn't get you anywhere.

Step 2. Stop worrying about the energy of your thoughts. Yes, thoughts carry energy. So what? Your iPhone carries energy. Your television, too. Everything is energy. Every moment we're bombarded with energies, some of them positive, some not so positive. Sometimes we're aware of them. Most of the time we are not. Still, you survived into adulthood just alright. Why? Because you're stronger than you ever give yourself credit for. Life doesn't need a sterile environment to thrive. And your fear about "negative thought energy" is likely to do you more harm than any thought energy itself.

Step 3: See your negative judgment as what it is -- a fascinating creation of your brilliant mind. There's no other creature on earth that can do what you do: dichotomizing good and bad. It's amazing how we do this, and do it so well. Rather than rejecting and censoring your negativity, respect and cherish it as an aspect of your magnificent humanity. The ability to judge has served us well for countless times. And we tend to take for granted the things that we are naturally good at.

Step 4: Love whatever thoughts and feelings arising in you, positive or negative. Whenever negative thoughts show up that make you feel uncomfortable, send it love. Say to it, "I love you. You are fascinating!" Be compassionate to yourself. Celebrate your humanness. Instead of resisting, embrace.

The goal of inner growth is not to become a positive person, but to realize that you are fundamentally free, regardless of circumstances. Positivity or negativity, it's all a dance of consciousness. The ironical thing is this: When you realize that you're free to be as negative as you want, the so-called negativity loses its power over you. And who you really are shines brighter.

What questions do you have on life, love, success, and spirituality? Shoot me a message on Facebook or write on my wall. The answers I give are sourced from both intellect and heart, as well as my intuitive sense of what you need at the moment. But be warned: the answer that will move you most quickly towards liberation is often not the answer you think you want.

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Natasha Che is a personal growth teacher and writer based in Washington DC. She writes about relationship, career, spirituality and creative process on natashache.com, where you can sign up to receive monthly inspiration. Natasha is working on a memoir titled Wizardry: One Woman's Quest for Meaning, Mission, and Magic.