Becoming optimistic is a journey and one that is worth taking. As we get older, we realize how important optimism is to our well-being. When we are around people who seem to fall low on the optimistic scale -- we can feel our energy drain and irritation set in -- this is a signal to get our booty out of there.
As we all know, our emotions are heavily influenced by our environment, and often we can't help but sympathize with how others around us are feeling. In these instances, we can choose to be mindful. If you find yourself engaging, agreeing or participating in the "misery loves company" club at work, with family/friends or elsewhere, politely excuse yourself.
Since you may or may not want to totally eliminate such people from your life, just arrange things so at least you only have to deal with them in small doses. Lack of optimism is infectious. Especially in these challenging times, the key is to have minimum exposure to such influences which can begin to seep in without your awareness. Your optimism is a precious resource and one that needs to be protected.
When you are optimistic you feel light, agile, flexible, mentally alert and physically healthy. So it is all the more reason to cultivate this precious resource for when the time or need arises. You will need all your senses working in full capacity to be able to take control of the situation. When you're optimistic you also keep people around you motivated, driven and energized.
Yet being conscious about the thoughts you think, the company you keep and the activities you engage in takes an enormous amount of time, effort and commitment. Is it worth it? Absolutely. Here are the three essentials of optimism.
Essential Mind: Shift Your Focus
Becoming optimistic is a process of self persuasion. It means convincing yourself to give up your addiction to negative dramas whether in your own life or in the lives of others. It means doing something extremely difficult -- setting your own optimistic standards for what should be allowed into your mind, your social circle and your life.
Essential Will: Self Discipline
Setting your mind to focus on optimism or slipping into the right frame of mind requires practice. You can't simply declare one day, "From now on, I'm going to be optimistic" -- and have it automatically happen. Daily awareness, practice and self-discipline will produce results more effortlessly.
Essential Being: Transformation
As you focus more on becoming optimistic, as you practice and assert it, you will find it easier to avoid unproductive people, situations and diversions. You will begin to see a dramatic shift in your consciousness. You will begin to see hope where you thought there was none. You will begin to see solutions where you saw only problems. You will begin to attract people who offer you more. You will begin pursuing activities that feed and nourish you on all levels.
Finally, the most important thing about learning the craft of optimism is that you'll be happier. Despite all the problems/challenges around you, you will feel more "right with the world" -- as though it is yours, that you belong here, and that you matter. "I have become my own version of an optimist," says Rabindranath Tagore, "If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door -- or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present."
Natasha Dern: Is Everything Karma?
Optimism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Staceyann A Dolenti
THis really bugs me. While it is important not to dump on anyone else on an ongoing basis, it is also o.k. to be honest with your friends. True friendships are close and not just "fair weather." A true friend can tell you when you are dwelling on something and you should be able to tell the same to them.
I've had several friends with cancer that have told me that 1/2 to 2/3rd's of their friends just disappeared after their diagnosis, including seemingly close, lifelong friends. By the way, the cancer patients and their friends that abandoned them would be considered optimists by any measure.
I agree with SmartladyDem. The author should have worded this more carefully.
"True friendshipÂs are close and not just "fair weather." A true friend can tell you when you are dwelling on something and you should be able to tell the same to them.
I've had several friends with cancer that have told me that 1/2 to 2/3rd's of their friends just disappeareÂd after their diagnosis, including seemingly close, lifelong friends. By the way, the cancer patients and their friends that abandoned them would be considered optimists by any measure. "
- I have found the above to be true several times in my life, particularly after divorce. But I guess I needed to know I couldn't count on that person maybe. Hardest still has been FAMILY that went awol during my darkest hours. From that I learned that my closest friends now ARE family for all intents and purposes.
That said, recently I decided after two years to distance myself a little from a close, but constant naysayer platonic friend because he is now making me doubt myself. It will be painful to distance myself from him 'cause he's been such a good friend, but I draw the line at my self esteem.
1. Avoid having an unhappy childhood. It can really slow you down on your path to optimism.
2. Make sure that you make a lot of money. Security is important to feeling optimistic.
3. Marry the right person. Because this is crucial to getting the support you need for optimism.
OK, this is a ridiculous list, but the point is, we are all different and for darn near everyone, there are going to be areas of our lives which take a lot more work to sort out.
optimism is like happiness, it is a journey, not a destination.
Nothing saps your optimism than being given the message time and time again your whole adult life "...thanks, but no thanks" or "Don't want you, don't need you"
A negative realist sees a problem as a place to retreat from.
A realist realist continually walks around the problem going nowhere.