Top Nine Reasons to See Bill Maher Perform at the 2009 NYCF

9. Glenn Beck hates everything Maher stands for. That should be enough.

8. Finally you can be the "funny one," re-Tweeting Maher's wry observations with the speed and dexterity of a twenty-year-old.

7. Maher is even more convincing live than on television. Bring your innocuously racist uncle for a re-education.

6. It sounds very bourgeois to tell people you're "catching a show at Avery Fisher in Lincoln Center."

5. The Daily Show and The Colbert Report don't tape on Sunday. What are you supposed to debate with your co-workers on Monday?

4. Maher is number thirty-eight on Comedy Central's list of the "100 Greatest Stand-Ups of All Time." Statistically speaking, he's sixty-two percent better than Gallagher. Plus, he won't spray you with watermelon debris.

3. Since Dennis Miller became a conservative and Al Franken a senator, Maher is part of an endangered breed of political commentator.

2. ...Because you're a part of the liberal media bias!

1. Until HBO develops 3-D broadcasting, the best and only way to see Bill Maher in all his dimensional glory is at the 2009 New York Comedy Festival.