If you have something to say...
Say it on the Huffington Post
If you have something to say...
Say it on the Huffington Post
I am left with a mind dashing from this era of my life to that era, the dozens of moves and job changes, being made to feel weak and un-fun. Though I now know that these labels were and are not true, thirty years of hearing them have taken their toll.
Let's say that a child is born to a same-sex married couple (or registered domestic partnership or civil union). What do you think happens if that same couple later moved to a jurisdiction that fails to recognize their relationship?
I want to share in your joy, I want to applaud all the new life and growing families and hope and love that these new babies will bring. I do. I really do. And most every day, I can. Today, I am struggling. I hate to admit that, but it's true.
In the eleven years since my youngest children were born, twin daughters, thanks to IVF, who joined a similarly IVF-enabled sister, we've scarcely discussed their scientific beginnings.
Please, please, on this very special day think before you speak. Not being a mom, not having a mom can evoke a profound sense of sadness on Mother's Day for those of us who have lost, have never had, or are struggling to be a mom.
I was stuck in an either/or mindset. Either they were the mothers of these children or I was. Either they had a real connection or I did. Either they were legitimate or I was. Because the influence of
My three girls take turns being the squeaky wheel, and my focus on each girl waxes and wanes. What never wavers is my love. Whether flesh of my flesh or soul of my soul, I love each daughter as a whole.
On Mother's Day, what do you get the 17 year-old mother of your child who you are just beginning to know?
Martin Gill strongly believes that ECDF will be a solution for many foster kids who lack stability and permanence. Recently, he and his partner hosted a gift give-away for local teens in foster care who are living in group homes--many of whom have little chance of finding adoptive families. Martin said,
When Mom presented me with the orchid corsage, it was as foreign as a lacrosse stick. Or a set of knitting needles. "But I'm not a--" "You gave birth to your daughter," my mom explained. "That makes you a mother."
Whatever kind of mom you are or mother you had, chances are, you've been affected by the love and encouragement of a special "mom" in your life.
The first time I heard Ben say "Mama," all of my dreams came true. I had arrived. All the years of second-guessing and thinking that I would not be a good parent were over.
Limiting the ability of up to 2 million additional prospective parents to provide homes to waiting children does nothing to help kids in foster care. And if we actively recruited LGBT people nationwide to serve as foster and adoptive parents, we could possibly solve the foster care crisis.
Since my youth I have wanted to consider adoption. Having had an experience like this only makes me think about it more.
This morning while I was running, my thoughts drifted back to Mother's Day 2003. It should have been my first Mother's Day, but life had been unkind, and instead I was clawing my way back from losing the baby.
In the workplace, today's families navigate a process historically referred to as "maternity leave," a term that really doesn't apply to (a) adoptive families or (b) same-sex families where the couple happens to be male. Kyle and I brought both circumstances to the table.
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