As a woman in comedy, I understood his point: Being "classically pretty" works against you. Maybe "Saturday Night Live" will pay me double now that my goitre is almost the size of my head.
Last night, writer/director David Gordon Green was on-hand for the New York premiere of his dark drama Snow Angels at the Museum of Modern Art.
"This election is about whether or not America is ready to elect a black man President of the United States," she said. "I believe I am that black man."
The former North Carolina senator said that the Illinois senator's criticism of the New York senator for claiming that the Illinois senator had criticized the North Carolina senator was "an attempt to confuse the voters."
Q: Will Zoey, the character Jamie Lynn plays on TV, get pregnant, too? A: No. Nickelodeon is owned by an angry old man named Sumner Redstone who doesn't let people get pregnant.
The vice president went to his office and put a blowtorch to a pile of CIA interrogation tapes which the White House had feared might be subpoenaed in the near future.
The former president said that those who accuse him of favoritism towards his wife "have got it all wrong, because I've pretty much lived my entire life as if I wasn't married to her at all."
Sen. Clinton went to great lengths to show that the bed-wetting incident, while occurring when the Illinois senator was only three years old, was "relevant" to the current campaign.
Immediately after the broadcast, Mr. Dobbs was rushed to the Head Explosion Unit at George Washington University Hospital where the CNN anchor continued talking for an additional five hours.
"My religion is a personal matter to me," Sen. Obama told his followers. "Having said that, let me make this clear: I have accepted Oprah as my host."
Kim said that when Iran was admitted into the Axis of Evil in 2002, "they knew the rules: no nukes, no membership."
The Reverend Pat Robertson said he was "blindsided" by the news of Huckabee's decision: "I talked to Jesus last night and He didn't mention anything about it."
Doctors struggled to contain their excitement about the medical anomaly of the century: the sudden appearance of a human heart in a 66-year-old man.
Moments after Bush pardoned the turkey, the 18-pound bird eluded its Secret Service escort, stole a White House vehicle and sped off down Pennsylvania Avenue.
"Let's be thankful for Guitar Hero III, which really helps you get through those long Cabinet meetings when they're going on and on about the economy."
The lawsuit "leaves me feeling very much caught in the middle," Satan told reporters.
Calling the inquiry "totally hypothetical," Mrs. Clinton said, "this paper-or-plastic business is one of those 'gotcha' questions that I'm not going to get into."
Rev. Robertson said that he was "confident" that within weeks of his inauguration, Mr. Giuliani would usher in the "end days" that are a staple of Bible prophecy.
Here are at least six of my favorite funny women (yes, there are legions more) who could easily be the next Farley, Ferrell or Carell -- if only given the chance.
I managed to inadvertently line up a supremely bizarre double bill last night, and have not yet fully recovered.
We tested 15 of the most public apologies of the year to see...
