"I misread my package's needs," the senator said. "It needs significantly more stimulus than I originally thought."
Unemployment surged over the past two weeks, but the Department of Labor was careful to point out that much of that increase was due to "forced layoffs of Republican mistresses."
In a frontal assault on America's computers, North Korea revealed today that it successfully infiltrated Microsoft customer service and has been running the company's calling centers for years.
My bet, based on both experience and a couple of drops of information, is that Madoff has no intention of dying in prison, and has one last scam up the sleeve of his baggy prison jumpsuit.
"....in those times, it was human to be inhuman. And now the world has learned, I hope.... There must come a moment -- a moment of bringing people to...
According to Apple, a user of the iPal app can hold his iPhone up to a television when Ms. Palin is appearing and receive a real-time English translation in text form.
As the Michael Jackson memorial concludes today, millions of people who have no lives are in a quandary about how they will fill the inevitable void.
Tracy Klugian, 37, a hardware salesman in Brookline, Massachusetts, has been holding a candlelight vigil for the news ever since the 24/7 Michael Jackson coverage began.
Not every potential investor was caught in the insidious web. But those lucky enough to avoid the trap cannot escape a feeling of lingering dread, a residue of evil that time has not washed away.
Host Elon James White discusses Sarah Palin's sudden departure from politics and a possible new Black charismatic GOP Presidential hopeful.
According to the study, the symptoms of the epidemic include "bizarre, uncontrollable behaviors" and "grandiose self-ideations," including an impulse to compare oneself to Biblical figures.
"We've done an inventory of the left-over painkillers at Neverland Ranch," Mr. Obama said. "There's enough junk there to tranquilize the entire nation until the year 2050."
Moments after Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin announced her resignation from office, comedians from coast to coast held candlelight vigils to mourn what one comic called "a devastating loss."
The seller, Satan, said that he had bought Mr. Madoff's soul forty years ago and was "disappointed" that it had turned out to be worthless.
Lashing out at critics who have called for his resignation, an unrepentant Gov. Mark Sanford released a statement today indicating that he might be "too sexy" for his critics to handle.