So much happened in my 20s -- lost relationships, lost friendships, my alcoholism peaked, I got sober, moved countries, started my writing career, and found the love of my life. The lows were low and the highs were high. I am embracing the pain of letting go of the last decade of my life.
On the eve of your birthday, I hugged you goodnight and whispered, "Happy birthday, Jane. I can't believe you'll be 4 tomorrow." You looked up, and with the utmost innocence, you said, "But, I'll always be your baby. Even when I die, right?"
I celebrated on May 7 and as a gift to myself -- and you -- I offer insights and strategies about BOLD Living at 49. Why BOLD Living? Well, why not? Life's richer when you write the story you want to live.
I recently celebrated another birthday... thank you for your well-wishes. In the week since my birthday, I've received over a hundred "happy birthday" messages, many of them from people I haven't spoken to in years.
This year I am turning 40 and this year there is no dad around to whisper reminders in the kid's ears. The triviality of all of this is not lost on me, but I am who I am and these occasions are important to me. To me they matter.
My friend is moaning and groaning about turning 50. I finally got tired of her complaints and told her to pull up her control-top, big-girl panties and get over it. When she continued to bemoan the fact that her gumption had no function, I asked if she would prefer to drop dead at age 49.
Like any kid growing up, I relished receiving birthday invitations. A 3-by-5 card would arrive in the mail, festooned with images of cowboys, spaceships, sports equipment or whatever theme the birthday recipient had chosen.
I honestly never think about the number of years I have been on this planet. But I do think about the millions of miles my divine, wonderful and dependable feet have travelled, and it never ceases to amaze me.
Today Jack would've turned 16. Had he not been swept up by a flooding creek in a friend's backyard in September of 2011, Jack would be with his mom and dad, sister and cousins and friends tonight, celebrating his sweet 16.