I see 7-year-old kids who agonize over what to wear in the morning because they "hate the size of their thighs or their arms." And I work with children who refuse to eat carbs or fats. Who among us even knew what carbs or fats were when we were 6 years old?
Are you willing to embrace the weight of valuing yourself from the inside out and give up valuing yourself by your body weight which is merely a number on a scale, which can not tell you anything about your true worth?
Sure, over the past 15 years I've given birth twice -- once to twins -- and I noticed that I am rounder, softer... a bit more "zaftig." There's a lot more "stuffing," as my daughter referred to it recently while pointing to a mound of bare skin bulging out between my pants and t-shirt.
I don't blame the young man for taking the visual cue of my body and neatly categorizing me with the 5k'ers (which is also a very respectable distance, by the way). Why would he believe that my plus-size body is capable of 21 long kilometres when there aren't any visual cues presented in society to tell us this is possible?
I really believe that if we stressed to girls that health is more important than beauty, that self-esteem more valuable than sexiness, we could save women from the kind of self-destructive thinking that consumed me growing up.
Why is it that a woman has such a hard time feeling good in her skin when her skin is stripped bare of potions and lotions and creams, when there is not filter or Photoshop?
When people assume fat people are lazy for not figuring it out, I wish I could prove just how much MORE energy I spent on trying to become smaller, more than I did on all of my other activities combined. And only a fat person knows what I'm talking about.
Do couples in their 50s really still have sex? Well hell yes! It's not just the realm of the young and beautiful, as the media and advertising would have us believe.
My hunger, my appetites, my longings, my skin, my bones, my size are mine for the taking. I take back my worthiness, my belonging in the world of beautiful and diverse beings. I live without apology for the straight lines and curves, living tissue, vulnerable heart that hold my living, breathing manifested story.
Her spoken word masterpiece, Body Love, left me speechless when she was finished. Every word resonated with me.
Because fat girls aren't supposed to take pleasure in our bodies or even consider showing other people what they look like, there is a lot of sh*t that can hit the fan. Mostly caused by other people not knowing how to handle someone as sexy as me owning it.
I had a bully following me around everywhere. The worst part was, I couldn't hide from my bully, because that bully was me.
I look upon this second half of my life with an open mind, a generous heart and an adventurous spirit.
I watched as these girls, even in class, were pre-occupied with their looks, pushing their boobs up, rolling their shorts up and trying to get away with whatever they could to make themselves more sexually appealing. Where did I, as a brown hijabi girl fit in?
Letting someone know you find them desirable does have a time and place; say, flirting at a bar or party. Or maybe on a date. Or how about in bed? The difference is simple and monumental: Consent.
Freedom from our body loathing won't come from taking more confident selfies, giving Barbie a double chin or determining to love ourselves better by posting unflattering pictures on Instagram. These are all ways we focus more on ourselves and our obsessions, not less.