I really believe that if we stressed to girls that health is more important than beauty, that self-esteem more valuable than sexiness, we could save women from the kind of self-destructive thinking that consumed me growing up.
Why is it that a woman has such a hard time feeling good in her skin when her skin is stripped bare of potions and lotions and creams, when there is not filter or Photoshop?
When people assume fat people are lazy for not figuring it out, I wish I could prove just how much MORE energy I spent on trying to become smaller, more than I did on all of my other activities combined. And only a fat person knows what I'm talking about.
Do couples in their 50s really still have sex? Well hell yes! It's not just the realm of the young and beautiful, as the media and advertising would have us believe.
My hunger, my appetites, my longings, my skin, my bones, my size are mine for the taking. I take back my worthiness, my belonging in the world of beautiful and diverse beings. I live without apology for the straight lines and curves, living tissue, vulnerable heart that hold my living, breathing manifested story.
Her spoken word masterpiece, Body Love, left me speechless when she was finished. Every word resonated with me.
Because fat girls aren't supposed to take pleasure in our bodies or even consider showing other people what they look like, there is a lot of sh*t that can hit the fan. Mostly caused by other people not knowing how to handle someone as sexy as me owning it.
I had a bully following me around everywhere. The worst part was, I couldn't hide from my bully, because that bully was me.
I look upon this second half of my life with an open mind, a generous heart and an adventurous spirit.
I watched as these girls, even in class, were pre-occupied with their looks, pushing their boobs up, rolling their shorts up and trying to get away with whatever they could to make themselves more sexually appealing. Where did I, as a brown hijabi girl fit in?
Letting someone know you find them desirable does have a time and place; say, flirting at a bar or party. Or maybe on a date. Or how about in bed? The difference is simple and monumental: Consent.
Freedom from our body loathing won't come from taking more confident selfies, giving Barbie a double chin or determining to love ourselves better by posting unflattering pictures on Instagram. These are all ways we focus more on ourselves and our obsessions, not less.
Strange as it may sound, I never contemplated the existence of my butt until one fateful day in the eighth grade.
Take back your control. Don't be made to feel inferior by the commercialism of weight loss, the false promises, and the celebrities who are paid for their endorsements. A healthy weight loss is not a race, because there is no finish line.
No one had ever told me that my thighs were huge. It wasn't like they were out of proportion with the rest of my body or I had to search the mall for pants wider in the thigh. Was it a compliment? I wasn't sure.
Body love has nothing to do with our bodies, but the stories they tell. It's about taking ownership of our stories so that we can be resilient in the moments when the visions and hopes we have for ourselves are challenged by what other people think.