The breakup of my family taught me more about mending and resilience and forgiveness than any loss of a romantic partner ever has. Though it was impossible for me to comprehend when it first happened, I can see now that both of my parents are kinder, happier and more authentic now that they've gone their separate ways.
There are many circumstances where breaking up can be a good thing for both people involved, but there are also many bad excuses that can lead to a breakup. Make sure you consider your situation carefully, and avoid breaking up for these 10 reasons.
I sat down with the unstoppable Leura Spielman - a designer and brains behind the amazing operation Laurelandwolfe.com to get some inspiration on how to freshen up your space after a breakup, and why it's so important.
Data-journalist David McCandless found after observing 10,000 Facebook statuses, which included the words "breakup" and "broken up," that the biggest breakup time of the year is two weeks before Christmas.
When breakups happen, we have the tendency to go into a mode where we obsess over all of our mistakes and wish that we had done things differently.
And right before the flames would go out, if I let myself, I'd see our ghosts. Dancing in the corner, holding hands, tightly. Laughing, pointing to each house and telling each other stories of how life would be if, well, reality didn't so fervently want to disagree.
At the time my brother was gone, I was the only person I knew who had a situation like this. Knowing he was alive and choosing not to talk to me was devastating, but it also gave me hope. As I got older I realized this was really common for a lot of people.
All the winter holidays hold one thing in common: a celebration of light. It makes sense, really. During the coldest, darkest time of year, here come the holidays, with their Diwali lamps, menorahs, and Yule logs, to set our hearts aglow. Or not.
I didn't trust myself. I didn't believe in my own abilities. Most of all, I didn't believe that I deserved happy, fulfilling and loving relationships.
You're there when I'm curled up in bed, cozy socks on, skimming the Times. You would have leaned over me, brushed your lips over my forehead, and pulled out the DealBook section for yourself to read. Lazy Sundays have not been the same.
I'm here to tell you that this is actually the best time of year to meet someone wonderful to date. Filling your date card with quality people is quite possible, so take away that frown and look at my tips in our holiday survival guide.
Something changes when your parents get divorced, when you console your friends after devastating breakups, when an argument changes the course of a relationship and no matter how many apologies happen it's still heading due South.
I realized why it felt weird. Because I felt nothing. At some point, my ex lost his control over me. Completely. That's why I'm grateful I ran into him. Our little run-in is proof of how far I've come.
The bottom line is that you can't control any aspect of a relationship except what you put into it -- and what you are willing to accept from it. My friend wants to know why things went down the way they did, but she may never find out.
You have the unique opportunity to shift your focus from your ex to people that you may not have prioritized when you were coupled up (your family, your friends, strangers and yourself). Take it!
Never let anyone tell you God doesn't have a sense of humor. Or that pride doesn't go before a fall.