Ending a marriage when you have children can elicit feelings of guilt ("What could I have done differently to save the marriage?") to panic ("How am I going to be able to support my kids financially and emotionally?") to reluctance and doubt ("Maybe we should just move into separate bedrooms and ignore each other?")
While no divorce is without challenges, getting through it shows your child how to work through hard times to achieve a brighter future.
I am a divorce lawyer, a divorce survivor, and once upon a time, I was a child of divorce. The divorce of my parents was a long time ago; I was seven to be exact, the third child of four. I remember the before, and I remember the after.
You can help minimize the negative effects of divorce on children in this age group by working together, as a team, on several issues.
Not everything I do is because of "the divorce" or because I don't like you. Please try to remember what you felt like when you were my age. No matter how good a parent you are, I'm probably going to try to pull away or even rebel in small or big ways.
Engage in age-appropriate conversations with your toddler. You must support your toddler by explaining that there will be a divorce and that one parent will not be living at home. This conversation should happen before the divorce occurs.
Parenting after divorce takes patience, cooperation and collaboration. It's not uncommon for one parent to notice behavior differences in their children when they return from a stay with their other parent.
Try not to be angry with mom and dad for this mess they made. They can't fathom the pain you're in, because all they can see is their own.
She may not hit, but she hits with words. In a sea of happy face stickers and bright blue stars, my daughter did not earn a reward from you today.
It is hard to hold such totally contradictory thoughts in my mind, but I have to because they are both true. Divorce gave me a new life, but divorce also destroyed the life I always hoped and dreamed I'd have, and I still mourn the loss of it.
If the Bar does decide to require certain disclaimers in lawyer blogs, how does that impact previously published blogs over which the attorney does not have editorial control?
The most heroic gift you can give your children is taking every opportunity possible to speak positively about your co-parent. Divorce in itself will not likely damage your children. However, how you choose to get divorced and behave after your divorce will make the difference.
Many parents thought the song should be an anthem in every elementary school in the country. But others refused to let their child sing on the song, or even sing on the recording, if we were going to include this song.
I will continue to try my darndest to give her a good life. And that's what being a parent is all about.
I like to follow my daughter's example. She defies convention and has labeled her dolls Maya Jr., Maya II, Maya III and Maya IV. I have a feeling her future husband will have a real battle on his hands if he refuses to change his last name to hers. I'm thinking she may even call him Mr. Maya--THE Mr. Maya if he's lucky.
You both matter, maybe not to each other, but to that kid that calls you mom and dad. On the 23rd of January, the claim on that hill that we created and fought so hard over will expire. As much as we wanted to be the sole victor, we both came out on top. Whether we meant to or not.