He apologized. The only apology he's ever offered. And reading it again brought tears to my eyes, just as it did when I read it all those years ago, in a different house. In a different life.
By the time we reached the docks of Seattle we were a family again, hurts were starting to be healed, non-truths were exposed, a sad and difficult history had started to be repaired. A safe and loving foundation was built in preparation for further work.
If the hallmarks of old-school crisis include leaving one's spouse, buying a sporty car and dismantling all forms of stability in the name of freedom, then I've done mine backwards.
When marriages are untenable and there is nowhere else to go, in order to save your emotional and sometimes physical life, as well as secure the mental health and wellbeing of your children, sometimes the only place to go is "out."
William laughed. He said, "Do you think you'll ever get married again, Mom?" I'm always honest with my kids. Always.
What emotions are you feeling? Are you angry? Is your authority being challenged? Are you about to engage in a power struggle? Are you sad and feeling defeated? Are you feeling unloved and taken advantage of?
I'd bet the house (if I still had one) that no kid sitting on Santa's knee this past Christmas wished for mommy and daddy to split up and live in sepa...
We'll compliment the good traits we still see in each other, and we'll tell you how, if given the choice, we'd do it all again -- because not being your parents is unimaginable.
Few films explore the tensions, drama and heartbreak that the holiday season can bring to adult children of divorce with the depth or the intensity of The Fitzgerald Family Christmas.
I was doing just what I'd been striving all those years to avoid, and just what my poor under-evolved parents had done to me: allowed our marriage to crash on the rocks.
When you're married in a nuclear family, the circle is around all of you -- and that's it. Everyone else is outside of it. No gaps. No blurriness. No ifs or maybes. But when that circle breaks up, you can't entirely make a solid, new one in a stepfamily.
Laughter means letting go, enjoying each other, and having the freedom to be ourselves.
I had two different screen names -- one for the regular rooms, and one for the gay chat rooms. Even with the anonymity of a screen name, I didn't want my straight "cyberfriends" to see me in gay rooms.
It's important to balance old traditions that provide familiarity and comfort to all, while creating new ones to assist the family in moving forward.
We Dads in the park look distantly at each other, each of us alone. Society has not yet opened a collective space for us.
The loss of family traditions particular to one spouse's culture, like the disappearance of friends whose primary loyalty lay with the other spouse, are intangible "assets" also subject to division.