That kid has some sort of Spidey sense. He just knows certain things. But see, I think we all know certain things, we feel them, our guts nudge us. I think as we age, we aren't as connected to our gut feelings as much, as society tells us what's expected, as responsibilities mount, as we mature.
Divorce. Not fun. Messy. Kids in the middle. It doesn't have to be this way. I had a "nice" divorce. This doesn't mean it didn't suck or there wasn't pain or hurt. It just means we didn't have to destroy each other or the children in the process.
I'm not saying that these are the end-all and the answers to your problems. I just feel like I know how kids of divorce think, and I know that if I were a kid, these are things that would comfort and soothe me tremendously.
Since this is the final article in this series, I am finally going to share the answer I gave the attorney colleague of mine who asked me the following question: "Any thoughts on how to make money as a family lawyer when you're not prepared to screw the other side?"
My job is to work with families, primarily divorced families, and help them overcome conflict. That conflict usually comes from the same place -- fear.
A great many of my family law attorney colleagues believe that mediation only works under such narrow circumstances, that almost no cases are appropriately suitable for it. They believe that mediation is only effective in family law cases under the following circumstances.
I'd tried to talk myself out of this many times. I knew this could go very, very badly in quite a number of ways. But I saw too much of myself in this dog. I knew what she needed. We had that understanding already.
I'm going to say it over and over and over again until my last breath -- "Mediation" that is handled as a "settlement conference," but with a "mediator" rather than a judicial officer is not mediation.
My parents wed on a September morning in 1960 in a small farming village in Greece. My mother learned the news when the busses started to arrive delivering the guests. She was just two months past her seventeenth birthday.
On July 10, 2011, Joan T. Daniels, Esq. posted the following comment on the listserv for the members of the Family Law Section of the Los Angeles Coun...
Today, deep into my routine as a single mom of two teenage daughters and an elementary-school-age son, hearing those criticisms has yet to become any easier. I somehow suspect it never will. So I continue to remind my kids (and myself) I'm not infallible. I'm human.
It's important for all divorced parents to reflect on their relationship with their former spouse and how it may be subtly or overtly affecting the emotional and psychological well-being of their children.
Except for the years I was in Juvenile Dependency court, where mediation was available for each case set for trial (but not presently, because that court system does not now have the funds to do so), I can count on the fingers of one hand the times when opposing counsel suggested mediation.
Even with all the data pointing to the fact that using your kids as pawns and competing for your kids is not good for them, people continue to do it. If you are one of those that are stuck with an ex that just can't stop competing, I've got a trick for you.
On April 23, 2015, I read an article titled "Solid negotiation skills crucial for family lawyers," which I felt was an important read for both the public and my colleagues. I therefore shared the article over the social media and with the members of the listserv for the Family Law Section of the Los Angeles County Bar Association.