As difficult as separation or divorce is on parents, we all know it can be even more difficult for our children. However, you can set the stage for your child's longer term adjustment to this life event.
The transition from summer to back-to-school can be difficult. It can be even more trying when it's the first year back to school after a divorce. My kids are going back to school in a week with the added twist of now living at two different houses.
It's almost an afterthought. We think of the child victims. We think of the lives ruined by his conduct. And when the media gets to the part about h...
As I am approaching the inevitable wind-up of the summer with my two young daughters, I would like to reflect on the time that has passed and what we have accomplished and learned.
My ex has a girlfriend. I don't know how serious it is or how serious it isn't, but she's there. Just hanging out on his Facebook page, silently. She's there, just casually mentioned by him a month ago.
I was recently contacted to potentially mediate a litigated divorce matter prior to trial, which is rapidly approaching. My name had been included on a list from the attorneys, along with two other mediators.
The Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner divorce is making headlines once again. The couple have just given their children a new puppy, hoping to help the kids better adjust to the inevitable changes resulting from the divorce.
I sit at the kitchen table holding hands with two children, one on each side. Seated directly across from me is their father, the man I love. As we pray giving thanks for our day, their little hands in mine, it hits me, much like a piano hitting the pavement -- I am sitting in "Her" chair.
Men, women and kids whose lives are turned upside down by unfortunate family circumstances need to be embraced and supported -- not blamed or isolated -- when separation and/or divorce happens. Pope Frances said as much.
There are those moments in our life that change us forever. Those moments that we remember so vividly. The sounds. The colors. Tiny details that become a part of us. Moments that we sometimes wish we could wash away from our brains.
That kid has some sort of Spidey sense. He just knows certain things. But see, I think we all know certain things, we feel them, our guts nudge us. I think as we age, we aren't as connected to our gut feelings as much, as society tells us what's expected, as responsibilities mount, as we mature.
Divorce. Not fun. Messy. Kids in the middle. It doesn't have to be this way. I had a "nice" divorce. This doesn't mean it didn't suck or there wasn't pain or hurt. It just means we didn't have to destroy each other or the children in the process.
I'm not saying that these are the end-all and the answers to your problems. I just feel like I know how kids of divorce think, and I know that if I were a kid, these are things that would comfort and soothe me tremendously.
Since this is the final article in this series, I am finally going to share the answer I gave the attorney colleague of mine who asked me the following question: "Any thoughts on how to make money as a family lawyer when you're not prepared to screw the other side?"
My job is to work with families, primarily divorced families, and help them overcome conflict. That conflict usually comes from the same place -- fear.
A great many of my family law attorney colleagues believe that mediation only works under such narrow circumstances, that almost no cases are appropriately suitable for it. They believe that mediation is only effective in family law cases under the following circumstances.