Our kids are a generation growing up in the shadows of reality television, flash-in-the-pan YouTube stars, TMZ and social media wars.
When we shame, bribe, punish and lecture, we send the message that our children are wrong for acting in these normal, though undesirable, ways.
Every parent has said it. My parents said it. My husband's parents said it. I'm pretty sure my great-great-great-grandparents said it, but back then it sounded more like, "If you keep sassin' your pa, I'll turn this buggy around, an whoop your ass down by the crick.
Remember: As a parent, your job is to give your child unconditional love and support -- but also to demonstrate that when you misbehave, there are consequences for your actions.
According to the U.S. Office for Civil Rights, black students are more than three times as likely as white students to be suspended or expelled from school. Surprisingly, there has been little scientific study of the psychological processes underlying this discipline gap.
You may be surprised to hear how many parents secretly struggle with rage, even ones who seem to have it all together often confess privately to me that they are ashamed of how often they lose their temper with their children, often over seemingly small things.
Sometimes it feels like technology is raising -- or rather -- regressing our kids. We can complain all we want about the tsunami of media flooding our children's lives, but are we seriously willing to give in to it?
This isn't a story about regret or failure. I raise my voice because I do a lot as a parent, because there's a lot going on. We all have a lot going on. And kids don't listen all the time, nor should they be expected to.
The most important thing to understand about consequences is this: when simple rules and consequences are not working, when children refuse to cooperate or continue to misbehave, there is a deeper problem that will not be solved with more rules and more consequences.
In this era of information overload and complexity -- the one thing that will stay constant is who you are at your core, what you value, and your own discernment. Please take the time, by design, to strengthen your own voice so that you can hear the wisdom of your intuition, anchor and reinforce learning from the past.
With the weather unseasonably cold, we took the kids to Wannado City, a breathtaking indoor child city located outside of Ft. Lauderdale. We left my mother's house without a hitch -- got in the car on time, pulled out of the driveway and started rolling down the Florida Turnpike when...
As parents, we may not always react to our kids the way we'd like, but we'll always get another chance
It is terribly awkward to deal with a child's upsetting behavior without stepping on the toes of her parent. Your situation is even more challenging because you wisely understand that this little one is both mimicking her mother and acting out her hurt. Here are my thoughts.
In actuality, setting limits is a gift to our children. It shows them that we are taking responsibility for keeping them safe. It's a sign to them that we are there to help them mediate the chaos of this world.
Once an activity becomes a habit, it takes little to no willpower to do. Think of your habits, or the things you do on autopilot, like brushing your teeth or maybe going for a daily walk. These activities aren't draining. You've programmed your body to do these things unconsciously.
The rules weren't all that necessary or important. Which is why, when her kids didn't obey, she didn't enforce the rules. She just got more and more agitated.