My parents had always been less than stellar when it came to boundaries. With the divorce, however, the closeness has become too close. Some things are better left unsaid. Some secrets are better left hidden. The hardest thing about being an adult is the realization that, really, all adults feel like children.
I think about money all the time. I think about the bills that need to be paid, the things my kids need, and the fact that what's coming in currently is not enough to cover what needs to go out. Every day is a list of choosing. Of overdraft fees. Of cancellation notices. Every moment is a feeling of defeat and a pang of failure.
This past year I haven't written the way I used to. There have been so many other things I wanted to write about but I just wasn't ready. I wasn't brave enough. Maybe now because I literally have nothing to lose, I have once again found my voice and my courage. Yesterday I filed bankruptcy. Chapter 7.