We are proud to have something that wasn't given to us for free! The same goes for someone who doesn't give away their self-respect and all of their love without requiring people to earn it. If you don't give that away, then those who've earned it will find it immensely valuable!
When you first met your narcissist, you probably once viewed him as a majesty who could give you the keys to his fairy tale kingdom. His charm, wit, and charismatic personality won you over, because you so badly craved a prince charming to save you.
If you are divorcing a narcissist, you need to be prepared that your spouse will put on the greatest show of their lives -- divorce is the ultimate opportunity to showcase their role as the victim/martyr.
Why can't you both just get along for the sake of the children? Those words are like nails on a chalkboard to anyone who has been through a divorce with someone who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
You, the reasonable ex, will not succeed in these fruitless endeavors. You will wear yourself out and feel like an abject failure. And, guess what? Feeling like an abject failure will not help your kids the least little bit.