If you have something to say...
Say it on the Huffington Post
If you have something to say...
Say it on the Huffington Post
The Blog
In my head, I know that parenthood is just a scaffolding, a temporary support during our children's construction of the actual building of their adult lives. But inwardly, I am beginning the uneasy process of squaring my heart with their growing up and leaving.
Too often, we define ourselves by our jobs in this world: "I work at X," "I'm so and so's mother, ____'s wife." But when those relationships have expired, matured or evaporated, what's left?
I am privileged to live in Rwanda, where life's questions are frequent topic of discussion for my many visitors and me. Of this I am now convinced: It no doubt involves personal service and the great joy of giving yourself away to others -- losing yourself to find yourself and your purpose.
While there's nothing wrong with an occasional splurge once you've wrapped up your child-rearing, many empty nesters are going too far.
When my children lived at home, at least they were visible when they came out of their rooms. They had to eat.
Some hotels aren't interested in catering to the baby-toting crowd and we're totally alright with that.
Twenty-five years ago I was worried about leaving my first baby to take a trip and now I whine about leaving our dogs.
Seeking live-in babysitter for technologically handicapped middle-aged adult. "Mom," as she's known, is generally easy-going and well-behaved, but must be monitored with vigilance around all digital devices.
Boomers, this is our time. My friends and I remind each other that now that we have semi-adult kids, we get to focus on doing all those things we fant...
The day your youngest child leaves for college is something like the day your eldest was born: You know the day is coming, but you aren't completely sure how you'll handle it when it arrives.
I'm excited for my son to leave. I don't mean that literally; a part of me would like nothing more than for him to live at home and go to college down the road. But bigger than that is the undeniable feeling of joy that I get from watching him step further into his own life.
My daughter is the poster child for why college matters. She did everything right, and lo and behold, the system worked. Slowly, though, things unraveled.
While all couples contemplating divorce experience more than a measure of sadness, anger, perhaps fear and certainly disappointment, young couples, with short-term marriages, no jointly held assets and no children tend to negotiate intensely over "the stuff."
We may grieve for the role and life we used to have, yet at the same time can be assured that there is much to look forward to with the new freedom to come.
I'm going to go to Disneyland by myself. Maybe that doesn't strike anyone as odd, but at my age I think the only people who do that are the people who decorate their homes in a Mickey Mouse motif and wear Pluto sweatshirts. I am not one of those people.
There is a distinct joy in the house when the kids come home. The fridge door barely closes, stocked with their favorite foods while the washer/dryer does double and triple duty.
So far this year, the media has spent more time fretting...
