Why are the papers and online journals so loaded with material about the many ways we might become extinct? Could it be that we have a secret love affair with the idea of Doom? And, if so, isn't that hilarious?
Invest in duct tape, night vision goggles and stores of non-perishable foodstuffs. Instruct your children in the science of zombie slaying (it takes a head shot). Distrust your neighbors. Hoard firearms. Get with the times or the times will get you.
A solution exists--restore governmental, economic, and religious morality, be steadfast and patiently persevere. Perhaps nothing short of Divine intervention and sincere repentance can inspire such change.
This week I have a special message for Harold Camping. We're establishing a new rule: you can come up with all the proclamation ideas you like, but we're putting a shotgun to your head that's going off within 15 minutes if you're wrong.
This information age will come to a screeching standstill. Text messaging and e-mails will no longer exist, forcing millions of people to unplug from the machine, leave the basement, and actually communicate with other real humans.
Like Miller, or Franz or Applewhite before him, Camping believes he has a unique ability to interpret the word of god that gives him special insight. So we pause with bated breath to learn when the next End of Days will arrive.
Christians can bet on a supernatural rescue for themselves and their kind and wait for the cataclysm, or they can dedicate themselves to compassionate action to alleviate suffering and injustice, to creating a better world.
And they said things were bad in the 70's. The dirt, the porno shops, the Disco. All that is now a fond memory for many New Yorkers who gamely braved that bit of Hades to attend a real Broadway musical.
Predictions of the Apocalypse or its personal equivalent of a direct path to heaven have been a common theme throughout human history. We seem determined to keep ourselves in a constant state of preparation for the end of time.