What I'm left with now is not only all of Chrissy's things for the time being, but this drive to carry on without her. I refuse to acknowledge we lost, that I am defeated. She wouldn't want that. I try to appreciate beautiful days for both of us. I've caught myself wondering if I can accurately gauge what she would and wouldn't have loved. I think I can. No, wait -- I know I can.
Being completely self-reliant is often isolating and lonely. But I found out that the act of looking inward was one of my strengths. Through the process of self-discovery, I saw that the solution to feeling unlovable was inside of me. I learned that I needed to be my own best friend and that the core of this friendship is self-love.