Standing in the shadows next to happy couples celebrating their love and marriage benefits is something no one wants to talk about: in establishing a legal foundation for marriages that last, the marriage equality movement also has laid a safe, clear, and legal path for those people like Tracie and me, who have decided to divorce.
While the birth mother was resting with the baby, Andy and his partner took a break from the hospital to get some food. When they returned from eating, they had a flurry of phone messages from the mother, crying and urging them to get back soon. A nurse had been questioning her about her decision to let a gay couple adopt her baby.
There is a saying: It takes a village. Well, for our family it is literally a true statement. My husband, Eli, and I have two beautiful daughters. Milo is five years old and Demi is 19 months old. To have them, we needed to go through two surrogacy journeys with the help and support of a wonderful egg donor, two amazing gestational carriers, doctors, nurses, psychologists, social workers, attorneys and our close family, of course. Both Milo and Demi share the same egg donor and have a different biological dad; one girl is biologically Eli's and one is biologically mine.
Although demanding and time consuming, the school selection process has been a remarkably enjoyable and inspiring experience for our family. We became familiar with truly wonderful schools. We were impressed by their admirable programs and by their inspiring educators and leaders. Nonetheless, with every school visit, it became clearer and clearer which school is our first choice school -- our perfect match.
Heterosexual marriages do not automatically lead to happy households and well-balanced children. Parents are parents -- and all can make bad decisions, learn as they go, or not be perfect. It doesn't matter if they are gay, straight, single or otherwise. But to deny protections to parents already raising children isn't right, and the only purpose it serves is to hurt those children.