Your life has so many nooks and crannies for a reason -- growth and love. If one thing isn't serving you, choose a different pathway; pick one made of cobblestones instead of dirt. This entire piece is telling you what you've already recognized. You are entitled to all of the happiness this messed up, magical world has to offer you. Go get it.
I'm basically a positive person and have plenty of experience with hardship so I know this will get easier, but all the usual short term solutions to get through this haven't been working. So I decided to do the opposite of everything I normally do and one is that I switched my morning radio station from adult contemporary to country.