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Heteronormativity

Your Toddler Might Be Gay

Dana Sitar | Posted 06.11.2014 | Gay Voices
Dana Sitar

If we keep talking to that little girl for the next 10 years as if it's her destiny to fall in love with a man, how will she react to herself and others if she finds herself attracted to the girls around her, not the boys? Or to both?

If You Want to Survive, Then You'll Celebrate Pride!

Michael Carosone | Posted 06.11.2014 | Gay Voices
Michael Carosone

Another June. Another reason to celebrate LGBTQ Pride. Last year, I wrote: "It is that time of year again: June, when we celebrate gay pride.

Tops and Bottoms: 'Are You the Man or the Woman?'

Donovan Thompson | Posted 07.15.2014 | Gay Voices
Donovan Thompson

I can admit now, after years of "doing the work," that I was terrified of bottoming, because I didn't want to be perceived as anything other than a man. I convinced myself that topping was the only dignified position. Here are my top five "learnings" from my cake-clenching, chastity-belt-wearing days.

Growing Up Straight in the Gay World

Lara Lillibridge | Posted 07.13.2014 | Gay Voices
Lara Lillibridge

I grew up a straight girl in a gay world, the opposite of what most gay people experience, but with the same problems of lack of place. I didn't feel that I made sense in the heterosexual world either.

Ms. in One Hand, Playboy in the Other: Celebrating LGBTQ Pride Season 50 Years After the Sexual Revolution

H. Adam Ackley, Ph.D. | Posted 07.12.2014 | Gay Voices
H. Adam Ackley, Ph.D.

As a child, I was raised by one parent who was a charter subscriber to Ms. magazine and spent weekends in the bachelor pad of another who collected (also from its first issue) Playboy. Perhaps it is no wonder then that today I am a professor of gender and sexuality studies,

White, Straight Dudes Want To Apologize For Sucking

The Huffington Post | Amanda Duberman | Posted 05.05.2014 | Women

When it comes unequal treatment of straight, white men, "can't jump" is really the long and short of it. Now, a few of those dudes are speaking out o...

The Pervasive Heterosexualizing of American Youth

Michael Carosone | Posted 04.23.2014 | Gay Voices
Michael Carosone

The pervasive heterosexualizing of American youth is becoming worse, more severe, and more dangerous. Allow me to explain. More and more, I am readi...

Let's Talk About Sex, Duck Dynasty Style

Jennifer G. Bird | Posted 03.02.2014 | Religion
Jennifer G. Bird

The focus tends to be on the plumbing, if you will, and the procreative outcome. The focus is all too often on the body parts that are involved instead of on what happens within a person when he or she is attracted to another person.

Attention Straight People: Being Gay Isn't a Stereo System with Controlled Volumes

Ernest Owens | Posted 02.05.2014 | Gay Voices
Ernest Owens

It wasn't until I was in a conversation with a group of peers that someone suggested (first prefaced that they weren't homophobic) that many gays such as myself would be accepted more if we "turned it down a bit." Come again?

Label Mayhem: The Problem With a Binary System of Sexuality in a Society That's Changing Its Views on Love

Bekki Charbonneau | Posted 01.23.2014 | Gay Voices
Bekki Charbonneau

I am a queer woman. I flip-flop between identities. I have been "straight," then "bisexual," then "pansexual," then a weeping puddle in the middle of the floor (which has occurred frequently enough to be considered an identity, in my opinion). But I have figured out a few things (probably).

10 Easy Ways to Reduce Homophobia: A Guide for Straight People

Michael Solis | Posted 08.25.2013 | Gay Voices
Michael Solis

The following are 10 strategies geared toward heterosexual men and women, who are key to dismantling forms of communication that invisibilize LGBT people. The catch is that a few of them require straight people to step outside the heteronormative comfort zone and pretend to be gay.

Crocheting Burkas: What The Heck Are Gender Role Classes?!?

Sally Kohn | Posted 08.21.2013 | Politics
Sally Kohn

What would such gender classes look like? Because before we dismiss Rep. Gingrey's grunts about raising "ideal" women and men in society, maybe we should explore what he might mean.

A Case Against Marriage by a Single Gay Man

Tim Paul | Posted 07.21.2013 | Gay Voices
Tim Paul

At this rate, if I want to remain comfortably single without the pressures of a looming marriage proposal, I'll have to move to one of those states. Next time I'm on Craigslist, I'm going have to forego the "Men Seeking Men" section so that I can peruse apartments in Biloxi.

Standing Up For The 'T' Girls

Daniel Browne | Posted 07.06.2013 | Gay Voices
Daniel Browne

I associate with a diverse range of people, and the female-assigned people I know who dress or live as men have a much easier time than the male-assigned people I know who dress or live as women. The former is more socially acceptable, and that disappoints me.

Intra-LGBT Discrimination: Beware The Rush To Family Values

Thom Senzee | Posted 06.12.2013 | Gay Voices
Thom Senzee

When we fail to honor, respect and celebrate our community's diversity, the enemy is us. Last year, a troubling story came to my attention, a story that illustrates the perils of becoming too concerned with acceptability by heterosexual standards and conforming to so-called family values.

The Assumption Of Heterosexuality When You Are A Feminine Lesbian

Megan Evans | Posted 06.05.2012 | Gay Voices
Megan Evans

I want femme lesbians to be recognised for who we are, to be acknowledged, accepted, and respected. I do not want to be seen as my partner's sister, and I do not want to be viewed as not truly belonging to the lesbian community.

How Gay Relationships Are Blown Apart by the Misuse of 'Heteronormative'

Ed Jackson | Posted 12.25.2011 | Gay Voices
Ed Jackson

We've failed to recognize the destruction heteronormative ideals have wreaked in the gay community. Aas a result, they've blown apart untold numbers of our relationships, broken far too many hearts, and created an army of cynical, single gay men.

Revisiting the Rules

Bianca James | Posted 11.07.2011 | Chicago
Bianca James

If The Rules built a better husband-catching mousetrap, then The Rules of the Game built a smarter, sleazier mouse. The end result is a lot of creepy, desperate people obsessing about playing mind games.

Prop 8: Let's Get Rid of Marriage Instead!

Sally Kohn | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Sally Kohn

For millions of Americans like me -- gay, straight and in the vast hinterlands in between -- the little box of traditional marriage is too constricting for our evolving notions of love and partnership.