The heteronormative confusion in contemporary American male identity is found all throughout the pages of defunct genre magazines such as Man's World and other extinct titles. But the current cultural value here is that the cover illustrations are so beautifully drawn and painted that it subverts the overtly macho context into a kind of kitsch.
I wondered if we would have laughed if I had been with a man the night before, instead of a woman. I wondered if, limping into the coffee shop, my friend's response would have been awe and respect had I told her of a man who grabbed me too roughly, who ripped my shirt, who left me aching to leave and unsure of how to go.
I can admit now, after years of "doing the work," that I was terrified of bottoming, because I didn't want to be perceived as anything other than a man. I convinced myself that topping was the only dignified position. Here are my top five "learnings" from my cake-clenching, chastity-belt-wearing days.