People who defend racist rhetoric and symbols are complicit in the resulting racist violence. They may as well own that. Neither the Confederate flag nor racist rhetoric -- overt or covert -- killed nine people in Charleston, but symbols and rhetoric created the environment in which it was possible, indeed likely.
Defining and embracing a true gay culture, which goes well beyond sexuality, is the next stage. We see organizations like gay softball leagues, gay choirs, and gay running clubs. They are institutions meant to build strength and support between one another because we do share so much in common and we understand what it took to become who we are more than anyone else.
In my latest video I break down the psychological nuts and bolts of why we tend to label and judge sexual roles and the gay men who fill them -- pun intended. I describe how this common practice can be limiting, both individually and collectively, as well as what we can do to challenge bottom shaming so that we can all grow, heal, and have better sex. Heels up!