No parent ever completely recovers from the loss of a child. After all, this child was part of you and when your child dies, it forever alters the way in which you define your past, your present and your future.
My aunt is nearly 99. She will not live to be 100. Her photo will not be on the television recalling the date of her birth, with Willard Scott announcing she likes the opera and still volunteers. She will no longer volunteer. There will be no Today for her then.
I have always taken great umbrage at anyone criticizing, questioning or opining on how the widowed handle their grief and their highly individual and intensely personal healing journeys. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of it going on.
Like it or not, we are all asked to be in relationship with loss and grief. Over the years, I have discovered that grief doesn't go away but teaches us how to discover our strength and resilience by staying with deep and inexplicable feelings over long periods of time.
Grieving is a natural and healthy response to a loss that should never be understated or taken for granted. Allowing ourselves to grieve and traverse through this painful process helps the mind and heart mend more appropriately and over time may give us some peace.
he depth of emotions can be so overwhelming that I found I often had tried to avoid the grief that has been building within my mind, body, and soul. I also instinctively knew that I needed to feel the pain to release it.