Consumer demand for safer products has led Congress into a heated debate about how to reform and update the Toxic Substances Control Act. That debate has reached a critical juncture.
Turning 27 last month has put me in a weird headspace. It's a headspace where I'm thinking about things like 5-year plans and IRAs and making monthly budgets and getting a credit card with relevant airline miles. It's also a headspace where I'm looking at said credit card and thinking about how it would feel to put a cycle of egg freezing on it.
During these last five weeks, I ebbed and flowed between feeling excited, happy, and positive to dark, heavy, and morbid. I didn't trust the process or my body. What if things changed for the worst? What if the universe was just playing a trick on me?
A human sperm and egg are the most natural of substances. They are not manufactured chemically. By definition, you are not artificial. You are nature's cherished miracles.
Asking the question presumes a lot. It presumes that the woman is not currently pregnant. It presumes that she is not currently experiencing a miscarriage. It presumes that she's not experiencing postpartum depression and is emotionally ready for more children.
I'm not saying you have to agree with anyone's decisions to pursue their fertility options. If you feel it's wrong, that's your choice and means that you should not go through treatment. But to impose your beliefs on anyone, to dismiss children that are already here on this earth, should not be tolerated.
If you stay silent, I can pretty much guarantee it will be difficult to find the support and love you will so need in this lifelong journey of loss and recovery.
I long for you to truly understand that you are NOT a failure, and not less than a woman, you are more than a mother than I could ever be.
Well, now I look in the mirror and ask the hard questions. I separate the important from the unimportant; the real from the fake; the benefit of the doubt from the judgments, the love from the darkness. And I make a choice.
While I imagine this question is intended as a pleasant conversation starter, what people don't realize is that the answer for many of us is complicated, fraught with pain or shame, and not as innocuous as commenting on say, the state of the weather, or the state of the Union.
When does a family become a family? Does it start when a couple adopts its first dog? The day a child is born? The moment the wheels lift off the tarmac on the flight home with an adopted child?
I know in my heart that the best days I had before I knew the four most important people in my life can't even hold a candle to my worst day being a wife and mom.
I actively work my acceptance of my life without kids, but do not be confused by the word acceptance. Definitely do not miss the words actively work.
I'm sharing the details of my story, because I am one of millions of women that have fertility issues. It is a horribly devastating feeling to not be able to reproduce.
When you have a history of pregnancy loss, you are hyper-aware that you're never out of the woods. You know that anything can happen in the first trimester or after.
It is now, as a 35-year-old woman without children, where I'm struggling, thankfully, for the first time in my life, with the sense of not belonging. I have learned there are two major things no one tells you when you begin the journey of IVF.