Infertility is all I want to talk about. The mailman stops to give my dog a cookie when out for our walk and when he asks, "How are you?" I want to stop, take his hands in mine and say, "My husband and I are struggling to have a baby!"
This book is for everyone who is struggling. This book is for everyone who needs a good story to show them some ways out and that it is possible. That we all have the power to change our lives; the power to define our own happy ending.
If you'd like to eat healthy and eat for fertility at the same time, there are fertility nutrition counselors that can prescribe a custom diet that can work for you. They can also help with diet accountability and answer questions you may have as you work towards your goal.
Being completely understood by others needs to have nothing to do with who we are or our stories. We must honor ourselves, no matter what our loved ones' capabilities of understanding us are.
So many of us are struggling to not only do the work to survive this life but to embrace that these struggles, losses and hurts can, will and must become well with our soul. But, we cannot do this alone. I'd even argue to say that we cannot do this with only our faith either.
I am beyond thankful that infertility education is continuing to be in the spotlight. However, I believe, some of the messages being delivered by some are contributing to the loss of ourselves to this painful, difficult, long and oftentimes heartbreaking journey of infertility.
As I let go of my 2014 and set my intentions (rather than resolutions) for 2015, I am reminded that part of my work always is my recovery. For me, it ...
I mothered. I mothered not my own children, but I mothered nonetheless. I mothered in a way that I am accepting and embracing, but also defining for myself.
I feel the freedom and less stress, perhaps, without children of my own at Christmastime. And yet, I feel so sad and maybe even a little empty without them.
When it comes to taking full responsibility for your own experiences or taking none, there's a continuum. Some of us blame our circumstances and our feelings on the external world and other people. Some of us actually take too much responsibility for our "stuff." Despite my anecdotes above, I have realized I'm on the too much responsibility side of the continuum.
People can be insensitive when it comes to painful topics like infertility, and many make hurtful comments, even when they don't mean to. Over the years, patients have shared some of those hurtful comments with me and my colleagues.
As the scientific community continues to learn more about individual genes and how and what they code for, it gives rise to increased personalized medical recommendations to support an individual's genetic makeup.
Survivors of infertility know how quickly your joyful high can be crushed by the breath-stealing loss of heartbreak.
I chose the term childfree over childless for the subtitle because I am not less of anything. I am not missing anything. I am not less of a woman because I cannot be a mother in the traditional sense.
Will baby-making simply continue in this wild-west fashion? Is having a baby a "right" for everyone and anyone who can afford it, no matter how it is accomplished, with the means determined only by what is possible?
I fought very hard to be a mother. I paid a lot of money and put my body (and my surrogate's body) through synthetic hormonal hell to be a mother. But, I am not a mother.