If parenthood in general isn't for the faint of heart, surrogacy can be harrowing. When we began our journey, few resources existed to help or inform.
These are many preconceived notions passed around about fertility. It's normal to have questions, even if you aren't actively starting to grow your family. Here is a list of some of the most widespread myths about fertility.
Men don't talk often about infertility. My guess is that, if we started the conversations, a lot of guys would feel helpless.
I don't want to want another child. But the overwhelming desire to have a third child just won't leave me be.
Strange as it sounds, I feel more changed by the trials of infertility than by the transition to parenting -- and that's saying something, with my toddler twin boys turning 2 this month.
There needs to be more support for women like me: relatively young, childless not by choice and facing cancer or some other life-impacting disease; women like me who ache every time they see a stroller or hear the delicious laugh of an infant.
I do still wish, more than anything, that I had two children: Aidan and Nina. But now I know that longing for the daughter I lost does not mean I want a replacement.
On the way home, I remind myself how all of this endless drug-taking and clinical prodding are my privileged choice, my elected First World problem. This thought is mature.
In the last year, over the course of four IUIs (intrauterine inseminations) and one IVF (in-vitro fertilization) procedure, I have purchased millions of sperm "donated" by men whose names, ages and places of birth remain unknown to me.
Breast cancer took my mother, and it likely took away my ability to ever become a mother. Before you might think, "You can just adopt," just don't.
For most of us, seeking fertility treatment is not the way we envision our family beginning, but it doesn't have to be an overwhelming process. Here are some general considerations to help evaluate your personal situation and decide if a fertility specialist can help you grow your family.
America and Christian also share their own challenges having children, and how talking more openly about infertility issues can remove societal stigma.
In my case, the glitch is declining egg quality, but I know other, younger mamas who can't seem to make a second baby either. It's wildly frustrating. And it hurts not to be able to create the family you envisioned.
Thanksgiving is fast approaching. While most consider offering thanks for traditional bounties, my contemplation turns to the flip side: giving thanks for things that, at least on their surface, hardly qualify for appreciation.
Ask yourself if what you're about to say will benefit anyone other than you, and if the answer is, "no," swallow those words and find a way to be as loving and harmless as possible. Do your best not to be horrible. That will make the world a much happier place.
Today, I know so many women and men who desperately want to experience that very same joy. In just a few short days, an embryo will be implanted within Tara's uterus, formed by a loving mother and father who are unable to create a baby without Tara's help. And so, for Tara, I have written this prayer.