It would be easy to say, "Yes, you were to blame." And it would be just as easy to say, "No, it wasn't your fault. You're not to be blamed." If you're feeling confused and a little upset right about now, then you're in the right place.
Cheat. Get caught. Apologize and ask for forgiveness. Be shown grace and forgiveness. Pause and repeat.
Unless there is physical danger, staying in the relationship while you explore and heal your end of the relationship system will serve you well. Once you have healed your end of your relationship system, it will become very clear to you whether or not your relationship has a chance of becoming loving and caring, or whether it is time to move on.
As much as the cheater would like to cast off their guilt by blaming their partner for their bad behavior, it really doesn't work that way.
The Mosuo people of southwest China do not marry and fathers do not live with, or support, children. Do the Mosuo anticipate a global future where no one marries?
People don't cheat because they have been given permission to do it, they cheat for the opposite reason -- because it's wrong.
Running into old friends often brings up mixed feelings. Fond recollections. Unfinished business. Bad memories. Petty rivalries. Insecurities. Unrequited love. That's the range of emotions and dynamics in this follow-up film to the 1999 romantic comedy.
My ex and I made a pact that neither of us would remarry. I know you're probably thinking that this is ridiculously juvenile and delusional, but it worked for us... until last week when he told me he had proposed to his girlfriend.
As a sexual addiction and intimacy disorders specialist, I am often asked about the frequency of sex. Couples want to know what is "healthy." Usually, they're afraid they're either having way too much sex or not nearly enough.
My parents stayed unhappily married for 38 years, until my father died, and as my mother so inelegantly and bluntly put it shortly after his death, 'I wish he died 20 years before!' I so didn't want to be her, to look back on my life with regret.
Unrequited love -- one of the most popular movie and novel themes -- has indeed been known to trigger extremely painful emotions.
People like to think of cheating as black and white; however, it isn't. There are so many greys and so many unique situations that couples find themselves in -- none of us can turn around and say, "I'd never do that," because we aren't that person living their life in their shoes.
Maybe it's just me, but the worst part about having a mistress is the 'getting caught' part; otherwise, it's all upside. Your chances of avoiding that 'getting caught' downside are greatly improved by adhering to five simple tips for mistress management:
I think I'm a minority judging by the comments commending her for her bravery. It's not that I don't believe people engaged in affairs cannot change, or deeply regret their behavior after some painful consequences. It's not that I don't think Other Women are beyond reach. It's that I don't find her remorse convincing.
I'd like to give a shout out for monogamy. It's really been maligned of late, called "unnatural" or worse -- hegemonic and bossy. It gets blamed for infidelity and divorce. Oh the Terrible Societal Pressure of Monogamy!
We are living in very self-centered times. Marriage vows involve someone else who may not turn out to be what you want as you turn the corners in your life's journey. Long term marriages are talked away like there is a "good until" date on a person.