While I won't downplay the part that men play in the fight for children and the rights of them and all of their mothers, I firmly believe that we are led by fierce women and that the world will be a better place for children and families because of the reasonable thought leaders on both sides of the adoption fence.
My three daughters were all adopted from China at older ages. Despite the immense losses each of them have carried, they have loved me and accepted my affection and care without question. It doesn't mean they have not hurt inside or pushed back at me. But they have called me Mama from the get-go and always reached out when they needed me.
Emily was 15 when she left her Russian orphanage to join our family and her biological younger sisters.The Russian social workers informed us that she had behavioral problems and probably even disorders. They told us that she most likely had Reactive Attachment Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They said that we shouldn't take her into our home.
When it comes to difficult circumstances, I always try to focus on what is best for my children rather than my own feelings. A week ago I came to the understanding that I have been falling short without realizing it for nine years, now. I say "not realizing it," but maybe I just didn't want to know.