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Joy Behar

Athlete without Compelling Personal Drama Expelled from Olympics

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Entertainment
Andy Borowitz

A member of the U.S. Olympic diving team was disqualified from competition today when it was learned that he did not have a sufficiently compelling human storyline to exploit on NBC.

Enquirer Publishes Photo of Baby with $400 Haircut

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Minutes after John Edwards admitted having an extramarital affair during the 2008 campaign, a supermarket tabloid published potentially explosive photos of an infant with a $400 haircut.

New Cell Phone Risks Cause Panic Among Assholes

Andy Borowitz | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Andy Borowitz

With a new doctor's warning that cell phone use could pose a serious health risk, many jerks and douchebags are considering changing their ways.

Britney, Paris Air Savage Anti-McCain Ad

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Ms. Hilton said she was also "offended" by the implication that she and Ms. Spears favor a tax on electricity: "We have both been very clear on that issue."

Obama Leads McCain in Frequent Flyer Miles

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

While polls show the two candidates locked in a close electoral race, Obama's impressive frequent flyer mile haul this month may put the contest for the most miles out of McCain's reach.

McCain Makes Historic First Visit to Internet

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

McCain aides said that the senator's journey to the Internet will span five days and will take him to such far-flung sites as Amazon.com, eBay and Facebook.

McCain Issues Top Ten Funniest Ways to Kill Iranians

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

McCain, who yesterday commented that the U.S. could kill Iranians with cigarettes, was apparently "just warming up," one aide said today.

Obama Posing Threat to Rock Stars, Rock Stars Fear

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

The presumptive Democratic nominee's decision to address a crowd of 75,000 fans at Invesco was "the last straw," says singer Jon Bon Jovi.

Liberal Bloggers Accuse Obama of Trying to Win Election

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Suspicions about Sen. Obama's true motives have been building over the past few weeks, but not until today have the bloggers called him out for betraying the Democratic Party's losing tradition.

McCain Proposes Tax Holiday for Beer Heiresses

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

The senator took great pains to indicate that the tax holiday would not be available to all brewery heiresses, "Just those with a net worth of over 100 million dollars."

Cindy McCain Robot Gets New Head

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

"This new head is going to enable the Cindy McCain robot to do things that it could never do before," said McCain aide Davison Matz. "For one thing, it will now be able to talk."

Hillary Rejects, Denounces Self

Andy Borowitz | Posted 05.25.2011 | Politics
Andy Borowitz

Sen. Clinton offered an explanation for her comments about the late Sen. Kennedy, saying, "I am still suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of my service in the Bosnian army."

Kathie Lee Gifford Calls Joy Behar A "Bitch"

Huffington Post via Page Six | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media

Kathie Lee Gifford may be just a month into her tenure as co-host of the "Today" show's fourth hour, but she's wasting no time in throwing jabs at her...

Whoopi Goldberg Remembers Charlton Heston, Plants One On Joy

Huffington Post | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media

Today on "The View" the ladies took a few moments to remember film legend Charlton Heston, who died over the weekend. Whoopi recounted how excited she...

"The View" Heats Up Over Racism, Whoopi Declares, "This Is A Racist Country"

Huffington Post | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media

Things got heated on "The View" this morning as the ladies discussed race and racism, prompted by Barack Obama's relationship with the controversial p...

Barbara Tells Hillary: "Drop It Already"

Huffington Post | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media

Barbara Walters was away last week when her co-hosts on "The View" started a media firestorm — mentioning that Chelsea Clinton called them on Su...

"The View" Responds To HuffPost About Their Imitations Of Chelsea Clinton

Huffington Post | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media

The ladies of "The View" were apparently not too pleased when the Huffington Post posted a hilarious clip on Wednesday showing 3 of the 4 ladies imita...

Chelsea Clinton Calls 'View' Ladies, They Imitate Her Breathy Voice

Huffington Post | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media

Former and potential first daughter Chelsea Clinton worked the phones yesterday by calling three of four cohosts on The View. On Wednesday morning's s...

Rush Limbaugh Gropes Joy Behar

Huffington Post | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media

Rush Limbaugh may be dating 31-year old blonde Kathryn Rogers when he is in Florida, but last night in New York he let loose and had a 64-year old red...

Joy Behar Has The Hots For Men Of "60 Minutes"

Huffington Post | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media

On Friday's episode of "The View," co-host Joy Behar admitted that she prefers her men of a certain age. So her favorite TV show? "60 Minutes," of cou...

Watch: "The View's" Sherri Shepherd On Abstinence And Sex Dreams

Huffington Post | Posted 05.25.2011 | Media

New "View" co-host Sherri Shepherd has wasted no time getting comfortable in her role. Today she discussed her self-imposed vow of abstinence, and the...