Is my body supposed to pretend it didn't rearrange all my organs and open my rib cage and my hips and grow a new human person and then proceed to feed and nourish that person from the very same body that delivered him, whole and perfect, into the world?
The birth of the newest royal puts Diana back in the hearts and minds of our entire generation. We watched her fairy tale wedding; lived through her challenges; grew to adore and were devastated by her death. As many of us are becoming grandparents, we feel a fresh wave of pain at her loss.
Prince George has many years to live up to the name carried by many a royal and many a celebrity, but we all know he will inevitably become a heart-throb in his own right. Here's a list of our favorite heart-throb George's of all time.
There was a time, not all that long ago, when thrift stores and consignment shops were seen exclusively as the domain of penny-pinching grandmas. But ...
No matter whether you hear him called -- "George Cambridge," "George Wales" or "George Mountbatten-Windsor" -- the closest thing to a statutory surname that our new little prince will have will be "Windsor."
To address when I commented -- with deliberate irony -- how "brilliant a royal Kate is" [for having a boy], perhaps I should share the historical context that some appear to have missed, where many a royal wife suffered at the hands of her husband for not producing a male heir.
In this age of 24-7 paparazzi shots, most high profile new mothers hide out until they get their figures back into photo ready mode. But Middleton didn't do that, instead showing what a real mother's body looks like immediately after birth.
Royal Prince babies and Weiners! It has been one heck of a week. Who knew things would be so eventful. I don't understand Anthony Weiner though... how can you just keep messin' up like that?
Harry's role in this young family's life is an important and unique aspect of the bond that has developed between William and Harry. This, in turn, can also inform our understanding of sibling relationships in general.
How did we get to this ridiculous place, where losing the baby weight is a competitive sport followed by millions?
You may feel your children have nothing in common with the newborn Prince, but they share something with every other child on this planet.
It's not that I am not happy for Will and Kate -- I suppose that I am, as I would be for any couple giving birth to a healthy baby. However, I simply couldn't watch all the media coverage, as it brought up all the pain, time and energy I spent in pursuit of my own baby bump, birth and baby.
But seriously ya'll, I truly believe that if Jesus came back today, he would probably be holding his face in his hands in utter disbelief. In fact, I'd even bet that he'd opt for a name change.
To help the royal family sort through the long list of potential "wannabe princesses," here is a cheat sheet of play-date-worthy tots and those to avoid on the playground.
But the American media obsession with the British monarchy, and the line of succession, is appalling. I mean, really: Who cares who'll be king? This isn't Game of Thrones (unfortunately).
In the spirit of continuing to blend tradition and her own thoroughly modern mark on the royal family, this is my official royal request for Kate to add blogger to her title.