Sometimes letting the steam out of the pot can be helpful in avoiding future resentment, provided both of you learn to be non-reactive, to not take it personally, and to not say hurtful things when angry or irritated.
If you were not well-loved as a child, or you didn't have parents or other caregivers who role-modeled loving themselves, it may be hard to know what it means to love yourself and difficult to know how to do it.
We attract people at our common level of woundedness or our common level of emotional health. This means that if you want to attract a healthy, loving partner, you need to become that healthy person first.
Instead of rejecting and abandoning themselves by avoiding responsibility for their own feelings with various addictions, loving people take full responsibility for their own pain and joy so that they are not needy of someone doing this for them.
Do you sometimes find that you sabotage yourself in your work or your relationships? Have you wondered why you would do that? Here are some of the beliefs that might trigger your fears or your resistance to taking loving action in your own behalf.
Connection with your partner is vital for your well-being and the well-being of the relationship. If you find that any of these suggestions are hard for you, then do some inner work to discover what is in the way.
The English language is very limited when it comes to words having to do with love -- we only have the one word. Having only one word can present a problem when it comes to understanding what someone is saying when they say "I love you."
Feeling fully seen, accepted, valued and cherished are really wonderful experiences, and these feelings can generate the kind of safety that leads to intimacy, spontaneity and aliveness in the relationship and in the bedroom.
"How do I know when I'm really in love?" "What does it mean to be in love?" "I think I'm in love, but then I have doubts." Such a big question! And we all wish there was an easy answer -- a formula we could follow to determine if we are in love.
Valuing yourself can start by lovingly seeing the innocent child within you -- your essence. This is your true self, and may have been covered over by the fears and false beliefs of your ego-wounded self that you created as you grew up, to try to get love and avoid pain.
Why would someone make the choice to be miserable? Because it is often a way of getting attention and of attempting to get someone else to be responsible for them. If this is what you want, here is a roadmap to make sure you accomplish your goal!
All relationships have a system. Some work well and some don't. Since I have been working with relationships for the last 44 years, I've become very attuned to what kind of a system two people have between them.