We recently celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary and it got me thinking about how this marriage is working so well when the people in it can get so crazy and confused and frustrated and even at times, short-tempered and jerky.
Your partner is a pain in the ass. You probably already know this, but what you may not know is that this is the way it is supposed to be.
Hearing someone else's hotel sex can be frustrating, but your orgasm was so festive, I found myself cheering you on. And then you had that great cry after. Was it a real sob?
Remember the last time you were gossiping on the phone with a friend or the last time you were unusually judgmental? Your teens are paying attention and will be happy to point out how what you say and do aren't consistent. Be careful.
Let's just recognize that our society is in the midst of a massive change when it comes to marriage, the composition of our workforce and our roles in the household. Thankfully, our generation has taken to question, bend and reform many of the traditional norms; the Breadwinning Woman is a result of this reshaping.
When people fall in love they usually want to jump in and make the marriage commitment. They generally believe wholeheartedly that what they feel now will never change and they don't anticipate what will happen after a few years of marriage.
I've been alive for 34.5 years, and I have concluded that love is undefinable. Although I do know one thing I am absolutely sure of, and that is love is a choice.
After nine years of being a wife, SAHM, and sorta freelance writer, I was briskly escorted out of the Eden that had been my married life of privilege. And I was virtually unemployable.
They don't tell you that you can feel broken and feel completely whole: simultaneously. They don't tell you that you are a package of contradictions. There will be moments of great strength, then moments of heaving sorrow. But you get to rediscover parts of yourself.
On the afternoon of May 19, 2002, nine years after our fateful first date, eight years after Michael's prostate cancer surgery, seven years after Ruby's traumatic brain injury, six years after my mother died, Michael and I married in front of over two hundred of our family and friends.
Having grown up in the orthodox Jewish community, I know the value of a "Get" and how a woman becomes an "agunah," a chained woman, when her husband refuses to grant her one.
Once the fracture happens, for some people, there is no recovery. There was no break for me. I was still writing love poems and recording love anthems trying to reawaken the light of her love for me.
In Philomena, Judi Dench plays a mother whose 1950s teenage pregnancy led her to an Irish convent where she gave birth and had to work for several yea...
I can't tell if there are more parents getting divorced at mid-life or I'm just paying more attention. Let's face it, we change as we get older. Not just the obvious physical changes, but emotionally, too. As we should. A lot has happened since we fell in love and had dreams of building a future with someone else. By middle age, the distance between the present and the future is a lot shorter than it used to be.
The Mosuo people of southwest China do not marry and fathers do not live with, or support, children. Do the Mosuo anticipate a global future where no one marries?
Self compassion can be a rocky road at first, like most changes are. But, once I started taking care of myself and sharing some of my son's needs, it had a positive effect not only for myself, but for our entire family.