I've been writing an advice column in some shape or form for close to 10 years now, and I can say with confidence that at least 75 percent of the letters I receive from married people are about issues that could have been avoided if the couples had better communicated their expectations about married life before tying the knot.
Every time I felt fear and doubt, you would grow and flourish; tightening your grip on me with every insecurity I felt.
With most marriages lasting a tad over twelve years presently (harboring four years of "separation" within and numerous concerted attempts at marriage counseling, marriage boot camp, marriage retreats, and reconciliation be damned), it is no wonder that marriage in the United States is on the decline
Don't cringe like that. I hereby defy anyone, no matter your opinion on matrimony or public institutions, to hang out at SF's most iconic civic landmark for a single afternoon and not feel at least moderately blasted anew in the heart, in the blood, down to your skeptical and wary soul.
Acts of disparagement usually begin with objectification: misperceiving women as mere objects. The bulk of the mass media apparatus encourages this by sending the message that women matter only for their looks and youth.
If anything, I thought I would struggle with always having someone around. I imagined fighting for space. I feared losing independence. But that's not been the case.
Sometimes we need to be cheered on. Other times we need tissues. And yet other moments call for something from our figurative toolbox. Right, parents? Let me help you in every possible way by letting you know that your teens too need these three magic responses from you.
Financial abuse is something that we rarely discuss openly since it is often insidious and wrapped up in the confines of what appears to be otherwise, a normal relationship. So what are the signs and what can be done about it?
What changed in me was the realization that I was committing to a process of being with another person. There is a difference. I came to peace with the fact that I was not committing to being the same person for the rest of my life; that person he initially fell in love with. I am too old to believe that.
Expect your marriage to be a nice long road trip with smooth stretches and unpaved areas, hills, curves, valleys, ditches and quite a few speed-bumps and potholes. Every now and again you might need to fix the engine and find a good mechanic, but don't forget to stop at the viewpoints, enjoy the scenery, pack good snacks and take a lot of pictures.
It isn't something to be pushed to the side, planned at the last minute, or disregarded, but it shouldn't be the be all, end all either. As with every aspect of life, balance is key -- even when it comes to love.
The big question is, how? The even bigger question is, how do we find peace in love? Is it an illusion? Does it really exist? Let's think about it for a moment.
Forgo the negative emotions keeping you from true forgiveness. Remind yourself that whatever happened, happened, and that there is no reason to drag the past into your future. Lingering on hurtful memories only perpetuates them. Be mindful that forgiveness is a process, not a result, so perform small, daily acts that are reflective of your intent to pardon
Do you owe your spouse sex? If you stop having sex with your spouse, is he or she justified in having an affair? Is the denial of sex just as much as a betrayal as infidelity?
Assess each new partner as an individual, and stay keenly connected with how you experience yourself while in his or her presence.
All of us should be very concerned about the picture that's emerging around two of the most profound choices today's young adults will face, marriage and parenthood, because they are bearing the next generation of children.